Transcript
- No, I just heard-- - I need to know the word. Chris, what's the word? - 'Cause once you're blind, you go out a little less. - You always always too much dip shit. - All right, it's not human trafficking, okay?
- What are you doing? This is not the type of vitamin C that you actually need. And no, I'm not talking about the IVs, I'm talking about the cigar in your hands. - I'm doing my health by getting two forms of vitamin C. Cigar.
Coffee.
Andrew, I don't think that's how this works.
You know, I haven't done this shit since Dubai. I don't really do this shit, but they're like, do you want it? I'm like, yeah, sure. Give me the lethal injection. It's fine. Does it work? Who cares? Why not? Enjoy the sunshine with my brother, you know? But my health's already taken care of. I've got my vitamin C from my cigar, vitamin C from my coffee. This is lunch, of course, as we all know. I don't get enough credit for the fact I'm nearly fucking 40 on those steroids at all, strong as a motherfucking ox. And I never really do this. This is probably the fourth one of these I've ever done in my life. Doesn't make a difference. Not as much as a difference.
as my cigars. That's a fact. Kristen, don't follow him down this route. I support the IV drips, but the cigar, coffee, while you're doing it, it's too much. For the health, Bailey. How else are you going to be fucking strong unless you have cigars and coffee? Have you seen the color of this thing? Mine's filled with bourbon old-fashioned. It does look like bourbon. That's what it's filled with. I don't even drink. Aren't these things supposed to be fraying over it? I'm trying to get a buzz on.
Straight to the veins.
Exactly.
Why don't you put coffee in there? Yeah, maybe we should put coffee in there.
Okay, there we go. Vitamin C number two. I don't think this shit does anything. Breaking my forms of vitamin C. Have you eaten already today? I bet you had a fucking nice little meal, haven't you? I've had two. Mr. Food. I feel great. It really is Mr. Food. Cigars and coffee is how you live. Food's bullshit. Food's not even real. You want to go on a morning walk with me tomorrow? Morning stretching? It's okay. Morning stretching.
and then you do all this shit. Wake up, pound coffee, smoke cigars, get stressed, deal with the Florida AGs bullshit, deal with all the legal cases all around the world, make loads of money, go inside the real world, tell your students how to make loads of money, beef people online, be funny, be interesting, be famous, get a random injection of fuck knows what because it turned up at the house, continue with your life. That's how it goes. There's no time for walks. No time for that.
*music*
No, no, no, no. How are you feeling? No, Bailey.
It's really great to see you. Tristan, it's great to see you.
Andrew, our friend Tristan's back out. Luke, look who it is!
Yeah, I hate both of you. It's great to see you, like. Tristan, you should still be sick.
You're supposed to be poisoned. It's great to see you. You're supposed to be more interested. No, I'm running on the 10th hour of happiness. You're not. It's been over 10 hours. That doesn't make sense. It's 5 times 5 when you take 2. No, it's not. So it's 25 hours and we're not there yet. I thought you studied math. So basically, there's one word.
Which Andrew does not like being said around him. That's right. I've just learned what it is. I'm not saying it. I don't like that word. He doesn't like that word. He just said it twice. He knows.
He's not open since--
- The day of his birth. - Wait, I'm confused. - I would never tolerate the birth. - No, I just heard it. - I need to know the word.
Chris, what's the word? You should have recorded that moment. That moment in time. I missed what you were just saying just now.
What is the word? You're talking about the forbidden word. The word Andrew doesn't like. The word you can't say. It's not forbidden word. There is. There's a word.
But if you say it will pay the ultimate price,
- And I've worked with your life. - Luke, hurry, we have to go. - Wait, I'm forgetting something important. - Give you earplugs.
I don't need a class.
Do you have your tactical pouch? No, I have my pouch. Bailey, how do you not know what I'm forgetting?
Scissors.
- No. - Phone charger. - No. Bailey, how can you not know yet? I'm surprised. - Harambe hat, Harambe hat. It's gotta be the Harambe hat.
- You must have seen it. - You cheated. - I'm not gonna lie, that hat's growing on me. - It's growing on everyone.
It is going on everyone. It's the best hat, Bailey. Let me get a close up. Let me look at the Harambe hat again. I actually really like it now. Yeah. Everyone likes it. It's the best hat. I remember being told to replace it.
You bought it from a random zoo.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly. So that way I know no one can ever copy me. No one can copy my style. I will make sure the whole world copies that.
I'm gonna put everyone in a harambe. You can't do that. Watch me. Watch me.
- They made you don't know where to buy them. Ha ha ha. I wouldn't be expecting it. - Not allowed to say it and there will be consequences for each time he says it. I fucking promise you, I swear to you that you will regret saying the word. - I heard him say words but I don't know which one it was. - I don't care what it takes. - So unfortunately for Take Confidential viewers, Tristan said the word twice now, risking his life. - The word twice. - The word twice. - Doesn't mean anything. It's a type of, it's a... - We're gonna mute this word. - No we're not. - Yeah, we have to. - Tristan, it's a dangerous word. - It's a little
It's a little group of islands. It's too dangerous. It's the price for what you have done.
You will pay the price for what you have done, you fucking scumbag.
Was it worth it?
I'm not talking to any of you. It wasn't worth it, Bailey. You're a piece of shit. I don't know why he's saying those words. Get the muted handle. No, you'll give a shit, alright? When the car's on fire, you'll give a shit. Yeah, don't make you try to stop me. Ooh, that's hot. Ooh, burn my finger.
What are you going to do about it?
You're going to fucking suck it up like the loser you are. You are a fucking loser. You're from an entire bloodline of fucking sex.
scum. You, your cousins, your brothers, all of them. You're a scumbag. That can't be denied. I've never, no one has ever come up to me ever considering I'm one of the most well-known people on the planet and I'm globally renowned and people try to talk to me all the time. Nobody ever in recorded history has come up to me and said, your brother's not a scumbag ever.
Why is that? You know what? No one's ever says. Why is that? You have anyone ever come up to you and said Tristan's not a scumbag? I've never even heard the fucking words. Never even fucking heard the words. I've never heard those words before. It's true. Dipshit. Tristan, you are not a scumbag. I know. Luke, I have a super important question for you. I'm done talking to Bailey. Yeah, same. Germax. It's Germax.
I think, doesn't that make you blind? Well, it saves money on booze for sure. - Oh booze. - Plus, it saves money on going places, 'cause once you're blind, you go out a lot less. - Fucking mint. - Admit you wish you had scissors. - No, I got it. - Anything to avoid your scissor pouch.
All right. Tristan, admit this is all you've been talking about. It's all you've been talking about and all you've been thinking about. If I go to Florida, I want to eat this. Yeah. Hasn't this been all he's been thinking about and all he's been talking about? Basically, it's all I hear Tristan ever say. This and gay porn.
Stone Crab. We did. No, I didn't. Yeah, you did. Espresso and a whiskey. And it's got to be a double espresso and a whiskey. And Stone Crab. Stone Crab and gay porn. I remember.
Tristan, I remember. You're trying to memory hold this. You can't. This is the highlight of your life.
This is all you wanted? Yes it is. You want me. Weedle me down. I knew it. Finally admits the truth. Stone crab season is in full swing. All the stone crab claws are fresh and delicious. Let's dive right into that. Large. 5 for 84. Jumbos. What you're looking at here is a full cluster of king crab. 1, 2, 3 full legs. Jam packed with crab meat. We have combination platters. We have many different size platters. Now I have larger combinations like the Colossal combo. Okay let's do that. The Colossal 435. Yes sir.
- We'll do some steak. - Yes, sir. - And we'll do some sides as well. - And how big of those New York steaks are coming? This side? Give us two of those. - Christian. - And I'm gonna have the steaks, guys, sliced up, something. - Christian. - He always orders two much. - And I'm assuming medium rare? - Yes. - He always orders two much. - Do you wanna know something, though? I'm hungry. - I don't give a fuck about you. I never said-- - I'm gonna eat it all. - I never said you're eating anything. I don't give a fuck about you. No one asks if you're hungry. - All I can order is what I'm gonna-- - I don't give a single fuck about you.
No, never heard. No one's ever said to me they care whether Bailey was alive or dead. No one's specifically said that to me. No one's told me, you know what, I really hope Bailey lives. Never heard that ever. I'm going to tell my parents to call you so they can tell you how much they want you to live. Mac and cheese I'm going to place right here. I'm going to take the Jessica's one. The Jessica's five minutes. The Hollis family. It's a nice New York steak if I may get that knife. Thank you. One steak. Thank you very much.
Let's all wait for Tristan, guys. Yeah. Second stage. We need to wait for Tristan. We need to be polite and wait for Tristan. Because we all like Tristan. Colossal combo with five claws. Amazing. Amazing. Thank you. King crab chopped and sliced on the underbelly. Pardon me, I'll reach you guys. I've got butter in my hand. Drown butter. Drown butter for the king crab. Drown butter for the king crab. Yes sir. What's the first impression? Tastes like crab.
It tastes like James Bond. And Rupert Compression.
Is it nice? Yes. Is it a thousand dollars worth to grab? Yes. Does it taste good? Yes. Do I enjoy myself? No. What do I ever enjoy? Nothing. It's true. Who gives a shit? I'm not the enjoyer. Just who enjoys shit. Ask him. I don't fucking care. I used to enjoy having a brother. The first time I was ever happy with him.
- I know you're gonna go. - Awesome, thank you man, appreciate it. - High five. - Come on. - Take a selfie. - Smile.
All right, it's not human trafficking, okay? Thank you, man. Good night, guys. Good night. All his fucking talk. Typical fucking Tristan.
Yeah, I definitely did. Tristan, you did say that the whole car would burn down and then it would spread to all of Miami. Certainly. Certainly burn down. Yes. No, it could. It was certainly about to burn down completely. Yeah, he said don't do that. Well, it seems the only thing that managed to hold back the heat was your homosexuality, and here we are. Everything's fine.
managed to put out the flames. Maybe it was his tears. Maybe it's all the crying he did while he was saying how it's gonna burn the car. He was crying. He was crying loads. Saying we can't just leave it there as we brought him to the stone crab place. That is what happened. I was there. You guys are way ahead of me. Bailey I'm a witness. Look that's what happened. The trustworthy face of the witness. Yes. So Tristan I think self kill yourself. I want the suicide line to call me back. Why you have Tristan here. Talk to him. No I want them to call me back. I want to talk to someone about how I feel.
You can't really want to talk to somebody about it. - No, I don't, yeah. Just-- - You're supposed to just suck it up. - The fact that I can do this in my car while I'm traveling, it's actually very convenient. It's very convenient that as I go from place to place, from my business meeting to business meeting-- - You should do it while trying to drive. - It's actually very good that as I go business meeting to business meeting, I can stay alive via help with the live chat to make sure I can conclude my business. Because if I couldn't do this on the move, I might accidentally kill myself halfway between a business meeting. - If you do it while trying to drive, then either one of the activities-- - Hi, I'm sad.
I hope they respond. I don't care.
I know, but they're not going to answer. They are going to answer. They're going to. What's hyping? Hi, I'm really glad. Get the fuck out the car or I'm going home. You know what, Tristan, if I kill myself. Good, do it.
I want you to. I'll blame you. In fact, it's on video. It'll be your fault.
I'm trying to film you because I ordered a ginger tea. Luke, the amount of times you've tried to order a ginger tea, no one has had ginger teas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ginger teas are good.
We're clapping you for coming out to call you. We always knew it, but, you know, it's brave of you to finally do it. The way these jokes start is Tristan asked Andrew, why are you clapping? He just said, because we're proud you came out.
And then I started clapping. And now we've all congratulated Tristan. That's how these scenes come about. Now we're gonna clap at each other randomly for the rest of our lives. Yeah, that's how these scenes and jokes come about.
*outro music*
What?
*music*
- Time. - Luke Gamer said he's a tough guy and he doesn't need the padding. - I don't know. He doesn't. He's a tough guy.
- Are you saying Luke's punches don't hurt? - No, they hurt. - Juicy, oh, juicy.
Well,
strange kind of room
Cause we cool over here, boy. Eating steak that's a silly.
*music*
Yeah, they wanna call me a change, man. Pass the soul and soul up to Satan. All them words of a pagan.
- Juice, so juicy. - Go on.
Up on the road side, me house to sleep, if you never dig the street, feel up your mom, no tell me nothing. Never kill her or rap, no tell me nothing. Never run a rim, no tell me nothing, no. Money shoulda make me happy, it make me worse. But she if me left the mat, I probably worse. I fi watch everybody, my catty first. It tired fi no put pain in every verse. If you never in a war, you cannot tell me about no peace. Row in a yard, you cannot tell me about the streets.
- Come on.
*Loud clack*
Talk to me about Luke.
Much better.
It's only time it's better than it used to be.
So I guess when we spar headshots, it says to be full of horse now.
He's a pro
Not my practice, so I guess it's the only way to make it fair. See what tricks an old man has left.
You throw your jab exactly where you're supposed to jab, but if you're not in the exact jab position, you don't jab.
But what I'm saying is they're gonna expect it less if you throw it when you're not supposed to throw it. And also you are, and the reason you don't do that is because you don't think you can get power, but you can if you twist the knuckles. So like,
-
If we're point blank like this,
You'll try and hit me here, but you'll do this and this and I'll see it. Whereas if I'm like on my hands in here, I'll just do this. I'll just go here. Jack. Just straight. You can't stop it. And then like, so like when you have these little punches here, you just need the little rabbit punches or this one. Yeah, like the knuckles. It's annoying. Yep.
- So, but you load and go here, but I just get my elbow there. So you just, when you're here, you just need to do little ones, and to the chest as well. To the chest plate with the bone. - With these too.
Like this, it's gay. It hurts. I need more bench press. Yeah. Bang. And then from there across the shoulder.
- Mom. - I said.
When we're in close here, instead of trying to load for big shots, you need to look for small ones. Yeah. And then you get a big one. It loads up. Like, tch tch tch. Alright, that's how you got it. I need a bench press. Because I think I can only throw with them.
power with my legs.
It's my gas. - And your shoulders, it hurts when you twist your shoulder. - I need those fast punches. - Yeah. - Those fast inside.
Because bro, when you were doing Megatron, those fucking uppercuts, I can't stop those.
interface yeah the two they're too confusing and they look too much like a left hook yeah they're super confusing and you're only guarding your head imagine trying to guard i know i know you're gonna land no those ones are those are problem and then no one throws those no one throws them no one throws them they're crying straight it's just straight no loading as soon as you load no it's just just straight straight to the point it's straight from nowhere and it goes under like really like in the big yeah like i have a triangle it goes in the wide part of the triangle up yeah
- I'm dead. - But they don't, they don't know. - In here, real world, baby. - No. - There's a jet leaving tomorrow. - You wanna come? - Come on in, bro. - I think dance, man. - Luke's in a suit. I love your shoes. - This is chill, though. Life is not for the weak and it's not for the lazy, and it's definitely not for those who are content with mediocrity. Life is for the warriors, the champions, the ones who are ready to push their limits and achieve greatness. You need to understand that if you want to get to the top, you're gonna need a team. You're gonna need a brotherhood. You need people who are going to push you,
demand the absolute best from you because that's what winners do. They demand the best, not just from themselves, but from everybody around them. Here inside of the real world, you're not just some lone wolf. You're part of a pack. You're part of a team that's committed to excellence. And that commitment is not just about you. Because when one of you wins, you all win. When one of you grows, you all grow. We don't settle for less. And we don't let our brothers settle for less either. We hold each other accountable. We support each other. We celebrate our victories together.
helps you succeed too. They were telling me that I was out of shape, broke, just to call me out. It was what I needed to have the real world set solution. Every day we log in, we have people to look for and people need their answers, so we are there, we're helping them. Inside the real world, there's nothing negative, it's all positive and you just gotta bring the work. This is about hard work, this is about discipline, this is about pushing yourself and your teammates to the absolute limits of masculine excellence, because that's what it takes to win.