Transcript
- Today we're gonna see if a Tesla Cybertruck is as quick
as a Lamborghini Huracan Evo. We're doing this because I got a brand new, free, Cybertruck yesterday. It turned up on Albanian plates outside of my house, which made me think, what Albanians do I know? I mean, I know Albanians, but I haven't spoken to them in four or five years. Since my life got difficult with police and such, I had to be careful what company I kept. But I got hold of someone who got hold of someone, and I confirmed, did you guys send me this? And they said, yeah, because Tesla's now hated by the libs, and you're hated by the libs, and it'll be funny if you drove a Cybertruck.
bought me a Cybertruck and sent it to me.
Interesting thing about that story is the guy I spoke to was in jail. So he's in jail and has enough money to send Cybertrucks as presents to people he hasn't spoken to for four or five years. And you're probably not in jail and you're fucking broke. Now, I'm not advocating you do the things he's been doing to go to jail. What I am saying is that money's not real and he has escaped the Matrix, even though he hasn't escaped jail yet. And you haven't. And if you do want to learn how to make money online, we will teach you how in a perfectly legal and clean way at university.com.
I'm going to take my free Cybertruck. We have the Huracan Evo, which unfortunately I had to pay for. And we're going to see which one is faster. First impressions. You know, I wasn't a fan of it when I first saw it, but
It grows on you very strangely. It is amazing how quickly the Cybertruck grows on you. Compartment at the back for human trafficking. I can write something here. T.
Hey.
- Yeah.
See?
I'm going to go.
you
Hey!
Work of art.
So
Let me tell you a quick story before we get into this car review.
Let's reminisce.
with Andrew Tate. I remember watching
on TV.
a man get a free Xbox because he was famous. I can't remember. It's when the Xbox 360 first came out. I think this is 10, 12, 13 years ago. And I remember watching the news and I think it was someone in a band or somebody. They were in LA. I can't remember. Maybe it was Stereophonics. I don't know why that's coming to my head. Anyway,
A famous person got a free Xbox. And I remember sitting there thinking,
Man, if you're famous, not only do you have loads of money, but then you get things free on top.
That would be cool. Here I am, 10 years later, super famous, arguably the most famous man in the world, and I get free Cybertrucks.
Isn't it funny how life all works out? So that made me happy. When the free Cybertruck turned up, I remembered the guy getting the free Xbox and I thought, "I get better free stuff than him, so I win." Who even is he? Dunno, can't remember. I'm more famous than he is now. I bet if him and I were to meet right now and we had to fight to the death in Mortal Kombat, I could annihilate him.
He got a free Xbox, I got a free Cybertruck, and I can kill him in front of his fucking wife.
Anyway.
So now we're going to review the Cybertruck. And I'm going to give you an Andrew Tate car review because you know my car reviews are the best because I don't bullshit at all. So we've jumped straight in. I've not looked at any of the settings, nothing. I had to work out how to turn it on and put it in drive, et cetera. It took about
20 seconds. It's a bit weird, but unless you're a female or retarded, it's not that hard to work out. I'm not going to lie. The number of people taking pictures of this car and videos of this car instead of the Lambos is ridiculous. Nobody cares about Lambos anymore.
They've been around and in Romania, there's Lambos everywhere. There's so much money here. Lambos aren't even impressive anymore. Nobody cares.
this thing,
is turning heads. Now, the first thing I wanna talk about is the steering, because that's the first thing you notice when you drive this. The thing that surprises you most about it is not the speed, it's the steering.
The car feels nimble somehow, even though it's so large, because the steering is so pointy. I feel like it's some kind of remote control.
That's adjusting the wheels because small little adjustments on the wheel make a really big difference
on the wheels down below, the steering ratio is wild.
And I've driven lots of cars with four wheel steering and complicated steering systems like 812 competitions and even that Huracan Evo, all these things. I've never had a car that steers quite like this. By the way, we're in the back roads of Romania. Why we're here? Don't ask. Just making my life as difficult as possible on strange Romanian back roads. You know how it is. And this is a good chance for me to test my radar. Look, we have NPC Broky here on the radar.
Nice. So we're gonna see if we can get this through here without busting up any cars. I mean, if I do break their cars, what the fuck are they gonna do about it?
Oh look, the old lady's taking a picture. You better watch out, human trafficker. We should talk about that actually. Boot space, space in the trunk for human trafficking.
Remind me. Loading up with women, with victims. Let me use my radar here just to make sure I'm going to fit. Luckily, I'm an expert at getting big things in tight places. Had a lot of practice. Ask your mom. More old ladies? Hi old ladies.
Now, in a drag race, this probably should kill the Lambo. Look, the old ladies are on my radar. So basically, I'm a space captain now. Everything's changed. I'm now Captain Tate of the USS
Cybertruck. Listen, this is important. The Romulan Empire
tried to put me in jail, but I escaped
And now I'm in the Romulan homeland
with USS Cybertruck. And my goal is to use my radar systems to detect as many Brokies. Look, two Brokies, two Brokies, Brokies, Brokies. You missed them. You missed them, cameraman. You're fucking shit. They were looking at the car. I'm furious. You've ruined our whole review. Luckily we'll detect more. Look, two Brokies detected.
Two brokies detected. There they are.
So I'm going to go through
and we're gonna scan
Romania, Romulus for Brokies.
That's what we're going to do. And if anyone gets in my way, I'm going to run them over with my Cybertruck.
That's my plan.
So this shit's cool.
This is very useful as well to have a rear view mirror here because you can't see a fucking thing. This must be some kind of obligation to have by law because you can't see a thing out the back. Tristan's kind of car.
Tristan's Dacia. I'm not gonna lie, that guy looks like a G.
Fuck, he is a G. Look at the front of his car. What does it say on the front of his car?
- What's it say? - Look at the sticker. - It says G! - He's a G! - He is a G. - All right, I knew it. I got the vibe he was a G. - Go up a little bit, let me see that. Yep.
Boss. Okay, he's the only other person, he's not broke. Everyone else is brokey. He's not broke though.
Right, so I have it in beast mode because I don't drive my cars on gay modes.
Lots of cars have modes, particularly for homosexuals and women. I try to avoid those. Everything in race, most of the time.
Is it responsive? Yes. Is it fast? Yes. Does it feel heavy? No. It feels heavy when you brake only.
But when you're actually driving it, because it's so nimble, because it moves so quickly, it doesn't feel heavy at all. Is it comfortable? Yes. My interior is, of course, custom. They've put Tate in the interior for me. The Albanians from jail who got me the car. Very nice of them. Thank you. Imagine being sitting in jail.
and saying, "Oh, you know what would be funny? To troll the libs. Let's get Tate a Cybertruck because they all hate Tesla. Put Tate all inside of it. Send him a Cybertruck to Romania."
different kind of money. You need to escape the matrix. Money is not real. I've been saying it for a very long time. Hearing the story that I've just told you,
Hearing the fact that I've got a free Cybertruck from Albanians I haven't even spoken to in six or seven years, and they sent it to me for free from jail, and you're sitting at home, unable to pay your bills, should infuriate you to the point where you can no longer sleep and you do whatever it takes to get rich. And if you want to get rich, we will teach you how at university.com. If you hear that story and you still think it's okay to be a brokie, you're an idiot.
then you don't understand there is a different level to life that you're missing out on.
you need to escape the matrix. I don't know how to make it any clearer to you.
I find it amazing that people will hear that story and then just go back to being poor and not think, "Shit, I need to find a way out."
Truly flabbergasting how desperate most people are to fucking lose.
I got sidetracked.
So they put Tate inside of it for me.
The interior
I mean, it's functional, but it's definitely not luxury. I'm not, I don't like the interior. It's not, I don't like the shapes or any of that kind of thing. I just think it feels cheap. I think a lot of this car was probably made to be as cheap as possible, to be honest. And I don't blame Elon for doing it. Elon's trying to get rich. It's fine.
But polygons are a cheap shape to make. Screen.
His screens are cheap, software is cheap.
Remote control steering wheel, remote control pedals at the bottom.
Battery.
Wham bam thank you. It's probably probably a very cheap product to make. Two Brokies. Two Brokies!
Every time I say Brokey, you have to point at them. My radar detects Brokeys. This is actually very useful to keep poor people away from me because once you get rich, you realize that
Nearly all of the risks in life come from being around poor people. Might get robbed,
be around a poor person. Might be scammed, be around a poor person.
Might get attacked, be around a poor person. Might have to listen to a stupid opinion, be around a poor person. Might have to listen to someone who believes in the news, be around a poor person. Being around poor people brings lots of problems.
which is why rich people avoid them. That's why we have private members clubs and private jets. We avoid poor people as much as possible. So this is actually very useful to let me know in advance where the brokies are to make sure they don't get too close.
because they might, you know, start talking to me.
and trying to tell me things. - The steering is so weird. But they could have put like metal buttons here,
some metal clickers, like made it feel a bit more luxury. And I think people would have paid for that.
Elon.
I know you're busy with the rockets, but if you could like make some metal switches here, something that's closer to Pagani or Kernan's Egg or Bugatti. Put some nice metal switches, make it feel a bit more tactile, get rid of some of the cheap plastics. I think you should have an upgrade for the interior pack and everyone will pay for it. Another thing I'll say about it is this intimidates me. This is just confusing. I guess you're supposed to be able to customize everything and they want it to look like detailed.
I don't, this, this looks like a fucking essay. This looks like I have to
And not SA as in,
Spanish friend, essay as in
go to school. This looks like a whole test I have to do. And I have all these different things and I haven't been through any of it.
And I don't know any of it does.
And I really can't be asked. I mean, I get a new car every three or four days now. So I'm not at the point. I remember when I used to get a new car.
I'd be super interested in going through the menu and understanding the options. I hate all that shit now. Porsche tried to take my fucking blood.
Fuck them. But I hate that.
I don't want to do any of that.
I don't want any of my information sent to the fucking GCHQ mainframe. I don't want to have to sit here and go through everything. I want to just be left alone. I want to be left alone. I want to plug in my phone, get up Apple CarPlay and drive the car. I don't care about any of this shit. And this looks like the most complicated one of all. I thought like Bugatti or Kernan's Egg would have really complicated menus. They're actually very simple, those cars. Kernan's Egg, Bugatti, Pagani, they don't have complicated menus at all. This car is full of shit. If you people at home think I'm going to spend my fucking day.
going through that crap.
to explain it to you, you got another thing fucking coming. Because we are not going to fucking go through any of it.
Now what are you going to do?
I can do.
It's my car review. Come make me.
Make me.
That aside, I don't care about any of that crap. This lane thing's kind of cool and it's useful because the car's so big. You can't really tell how far you are in the lane, so that's good. The radar thing is one of the best things about the car. The whole radar system thing is pretty cool, I'm not going to lie. This you could easily get very used to and other cars don't have it. And there's not much else to say really besides how the car drives, which we're going to test out on these roads here. We're going to drag race, so we're going to see how it feels when we start to put our foot down. See if I can get away from Tristan.
Alright, let's see how steady I can hold the camera on launch.
We're gonna race down here to the lake. You know the lake that's on the left? Try and get away from me if you can.
There's a weight in the corner.
So I had to brake a lot earlier with him, but I can make it up with instant acceleration. But on the corners, on the corners, there's a lot of weight. So that's where the problem is.
I don't think anyone ever raced this hybrid truck.
- Against the Lambo. - Against the Lambo. - On windy roads. - You wanna know something? - What? - Look, I'm shaking.
No faith in me. No, I have faith in you, but the Cybertruck's different. Braking is like braking an absolute just tank. Yeah. It's on brakes and on corners.
Let's use this serene background.
We're alive.
Okay, okay. Back to my other camera. We got three cameras. We're live. We're good. For now. No comments for the way home.
Our friend comes now and he has money.
What is this for, fishing?
Ah, okay.
I can catch dinner.
Thank you.
What's going on? Typical Romanian scams. Yeah, supposedly the fishing police say we owe them 30 lay each.
to stay here because it's a fishing spot.
30 lay is around...
$6.
Six bucks, yeah.
six bucks each, I mean that's a big payday for them.
super adamant about his pain yeah big deal 12 bucks
Thank you.
I've been here literally a thousand times, this has never happened. I've been here with you. A thousand times. You know, if we don't pay them 12 bucks, we could be in some serious trouble, sir. Decal will probably arrest me again. We'll never financially recover from this.
Okay.
I'm going to go to the top of the top.
No, I don't want to take care of you. I have the rest of you.
Alright, the fishing police have been paid off.
Nice.
We're back in action. No decalt raid today. It's basically my army tank which can't corner and can't break.
and still keep up to so fast and straight on. So?
I'm not supposed to care and argue and debate
You got both of these cars. I'm just driving one.
I know what you're trying to do, Andrew, I see you. You're gonna make an episode where it's just like,
Tristan and his Lambo me and the Sarb truck. Oh my Lambo is better than I
You got both of them.
There's nothing to do with me versus you. This stupid dynamic you're trying to paint on your little episode,
Isn't going to work.
Because I'm not playing along.
How about that?
How's that for the cameraman who just said, here, sit here and argue about which car is better? No.
No, he got them both.
I'm not arguing.
None of this was my idea, neither of these vehicles.
I refuse.
to play along.
Okay.
We done?
He's just mad that you were on his ass the whole time. - I mean, he has a point. I did buy it. - So everybody has seen the exterior of a Cybertruck, but let's talk through it anyway. We have the single headlight along the front, which is kind of cool. I see I have this on the top. I think that's added extra. I think that's just for me.
Not sure
Wasn't sure on the design at first, but it's obviously grown on everybody. Plastic hubcaps, which I guess are cheap to replace.
Here, this camera, I guess, is for the sentry system. I assume that's what it's for. And then you press here and it opens up, as long as you've already put the key on it to unlock it. And then, how do you open the back door? Ah, here, boom.
Bye.
Nice. I've never sat in the back. Let me see what the back is like. Nice. Got a little screen down here. I can control some things at the back, climate control, some movies. It's all built in at the back. That's kind of nice.
So the back fits me, I'm six foot three.
and rich and I fit.
Here you have the cargo section, perfect for human trafficking.
Put the girls in, you know, load them all up.
Probably get 20 Mexicans in there. Nice. This button opens the tailgate. Does the tailgate close with the button?
No, you have to close it manually. Elon?
Bye.
Elon, letting us down.
.
Besides that,
It's pretty simple.
Bye.
Really?
The key is a card, which is kind of cool. The key looks like a card, like a Tesla key card.
That's nice.
Let's look at the inside again. Storage space.
which is nice.
storage space here in the middle which is nice two cup holders you have to put the key here that's where the key goes to start the car take in the headrest so my model is particularly interesting
sound system
I wonder if the sound system is really good. OK, we have Spotify built into the Cybertruck. So this is not my Spotify. It's just a Spotify. Here we go. One Big Stone by Teacher D. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just one big stone, yeah. Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Simple stone. It's not bad, actually, the sound system. I saw it in a dream.
Thanks, teacher. So yeah, that's the interior. It's very basic. There's not much to talk about. That's pretty much it. Buttons here on the steering wheel, what do they do? We have one for the wipers, one for talking to the car. Let me talk to the car and ask it to do something.
Put on a movie.
entertaining movie. I searched for a movie inside of the Spotify and now it's playing A Pocket Full of Sunshine by Natasha Benningfield.
Secretly a banger. Indicators here. Headlights. What's this button do?
Nothing. What does this button do?
Ah, that activates all my cameras.
So now I can see all around with that button. That's kind of cool. One button you can see left, right, up, down, radar. That's kind of cool.
This must be the cruise control, but cruise control is for homos. We don't use cruise control. Ah, okay. Now I said cruise control. Now it's
put cruise control up here on the whole system. This menu confuses me and makes me upset to look at. He needs to simplify it. Everything's minimalistic and then you have this menu full of fucking options and buttons and shit. It's really annoying and too many
different settings.
Fuck it all off.
Should have four or five buttons like a Bugatti does. Yes, no, maybe so.
.
I'm not.
-
Okay, old friend, we're gonna drag race. Ready? Three, two, one, go!
Close. Tristan had to get behind me because of a car coming.
*Loud noise*
Electricity wins. It was close though, it was close. It was right like there. I was a little bit ahead, a little bit ahead, and then a car started coming in to get behind, but I think I would have pulled away.
I think
- At past a really high speed, the Lambo would win, but.
Short distance, this wins.
Like I said about the Bugatti in this. This is really quick off the line. It's electric. It's really fast in the short distance and the lower speeds.
So this beat the Lamborghini, of course it did.
You know, I'm kind of happy about that, but I'm going to also admit I'm kind of sad. Everything's becoming digital nowadays, you know? You're losing the feeling. I know electric cars are the big future that everyone's supposed to love. I don't like electric cars.
Really. The main reason I like this is because I like Elon and I like pissing off liberals. Those are two of some of my favorite things is making others mad.
but
I don't know, it's just emotionless, you know? Bro, it's like a handwritten letter versus a fucking email. If something bad happened to you, heaven forbid, and I sent you a handwritten letter, you'd be like, "Wow, he really cares." If I email you, "Hey, bro, sorry your family's dead."
You'd be like, I don't even feel better from this email. Why did you send me this email? Why did you remind me of my pain?
I don't feel any, I don't feel better at all.
Don't email me anymore. It's all electronic. It's all...
Because it's not just about the speed.
Not at all. I mean, speed's all it's got, right? If we had to argue, okay, what's funner to drive, a Lambo or a Cybertruck, you're going to say, oh, but the Cybertruck's quicker. If you take that away, it's all Lambo. The sound is cooler and the emotion's cooler. I keep reaching for gear paddles that don't exist. Like everything's cooler about it. The fact it's mechanical,
That makes it cool. The idea that it's all mechanics and little moving cogs is a cool idea.
fire and brimstone exploding out the back of an exhaust pipe. That's all cool. And the counter to that is, ah, but the electric car is faster. Yeah, the girl in Monaco is hotter, but who cares? It's about the emotions involved with the experience. So yeah, it won. Of course it did, but
Lambo's still a Lambo. It still gives you that
raw, emotive
that raw emotion. See, I'm not a huge fan of electric cars.
But I am a dedicated soldier, and I will do anything it takes to piss off the liberals. What's the point in me being rich and famous if I don't piss off my enemy? Every ex-girlfriend I've ever had, all their new husbands, just message them from an Anon account. You do know she slept with Tate six years ago, right?
and on account. I get staff to do that for me.
on their wedding day. He's holding her hand. He's putting up all the wedding stories. And they're all standing around the wedding. And then he checks his phone. And his mom's happy. And everyone's sending him photos. And it's all so good. And then he has a message on Instagram. What's this? You do know Tate smashed her at a threesome six years ago, don't you? Then they start to argue. Yeah.
- She, first he asks her.
He doesn't want to do it during the wedding. He just changes a little bit. He doesn't want to ruin the day, you know, so he cuts the cake and he dances with her and then
They have the honeymoon night, next day he's like, you know what?
I got a strange message yesterday, Jane. It's like, what message? Oh, someone said that you used to be with Andrew Tate. She doesn't deny or confirm. She gets very defensive.
Why would you say that? Why would I say that? That's the message. I just got the message. So were you?
- Oh, f-
What?
No.
He'll sit there and he'll look at her and he'll know she's lying. And that's, that's when the fucking pain will set in then.
Exactly then.
He'll listen to all my videos of all the times I talk about how I fucking have all these girls. They do whatever I fucking want and I'm rich and famous and I'm fucking ten of them in a group and they're all fucking naked and they're all wearing the same matching fucking outfits.
Not my wife, no, not my girl, no. - Well, just tell me what happened. We're married now, it doesn't matter, but I think I should know your past. Just tell me what happened. - Well, I met him a few times. I was with him for a few weeks, whatever.
You know, I just love winning. Because then he has to watch my videos. Then he's gonna see this. I just told you a true story.
And the man in that story is now going to end up seeing this.
Come do something.
Come get me, I will detect you from a mile away on my brokey radar. But now I've been distracted making fun of all the people whose wives I've fucked. I kinda feel like the rest of this car review should be about that, you know?
We've been through the menu and I'm not going to go through it.
There's no, it needs nicer buttons. And it's pretty sparse besides that.
But telling stories about how many people were trying to get married and I ruined their day, I could go on for fucking years.
It gives me loads to talk about. People think I tell cool stories. I haven't told any of my stories. I have so much more to tell. Once I'm free, I might start turning up at weddings. What's that? A bright blue Yesco. You see it just over there. I'm just sitting there. Roof down. Or a black Cybertruck.
I'm just sitting there. I'm not going to come into church. I'm not going to trespass.
I'm just there. Let's see how it goes over a speed bump.
Meh.
Meh. Meh. I wouldn't say it goes over speed bumps to be particularly any better than any other car. Let's see what this Brokey's doing on his bike. Let me detect him on my Brokey radar. Where is he? There he is. Brokey radar. Hi Brokey.
Nice. See ya, faggot.
Definitely messaging him on wedding day.
Look at me, rude. Yeah, it's stupid quick. It's very fast. However,
like most electric cars.
The power is shh.
at the bottom.
end of the speed. So like the Bugatti Chiron, let me tell you something about the Bugatti. The Bugatti's quick, but it's actually below 60, 70 miles an hour, around the same speed as the 765 McLaren.
It's not that quick.
at the lower speeds. It's fast at the higher speeds because all four turbos have to kick. So when you push a Bugatti, it's, you put your foot down, it starts to go turbo one, boosh, turbo two, boosh, turbo three, boosh, turbo four, boosh. By the time all four turbos hit,
now it's giving you maximum power but you're already doing 160 miles an hour. So the real push from the Bugatti is at the top end of speed so you can't use it very often.
Whereas this,
It's a lot faster at the lower end.
than it is at the higher end.
So from naught to 16, naught to 100, it's crazy fast.
But once you get past 100, it's not so quick anymore. So this is a lot more usable speed because you get to drive slower more often than you get to drive quicker.
Obviously.
So this does feel faster than even a Bugatti in some ways because you get to use the speed at the speeds you actually drive at But it doesn't have the turbo sound it doesn't have a w6
Cool.
You know, it does make some sound, but I don't know if it's real or fake.
Let's listen. Spaceship sound.
Is that real or fake?
I guess I should know. I'm the one reviewing it, right? Don't have a clue. Don't know if it's real. Don't know if it's fake. I don't know.
Is it real? Is it fake? Who knows? It's like love, you know? What's real? What's fake? Nobody really knows. We're just humans. Going through Earth. Going through the world.
for reality from fiction.
Andrew, what a crazy difference between these two cars, the one that you chose and the one that I chose. What a disparaging
energetic, entertaining car review this is going to be.
This is not just you driving multiple cars that you buy when I'd rather do something else. That's definitely not what just happened today.
Yeah.
I think
The Cybertruck is a remote control car. Do you want to drive it? It feels like driving a remote control car.
You know like a little toy remote control car? It feels like that but you're in it.
Don't drive it. No.
You know I'm driving.
Nah. It's a free-sourb truck. You're not going to drive it? Nah.
Don't want to.
I've got better things to do. Can't we give our car scores out of 10? What would you give the Lamborghini out of 10? Oh shit, I don't know.
I want to give the Lamborghini a 10.
I don't know. I think I'll give it...
I'm Tristan. Let me give it out of 10. Out of 10 T's, I give the Lamborghini Huracan.
8.7 out of 10 Ts. Shit. Is that your... I give this 8.7 out of 10 As.
At Hanksburg, nothing compared to the two, so this is infinitely fair. Is that a petrol engine? Fair, and if I had to choose one, I'd definitely choose a Lamborghini anyway, because the Cybertruck is electric, and electric's just never going to be cool.
Yeah, it's a symbol of resistance because Elon's cool, but besides that, I don't really like electric cars.