Transcript
Good shot there from Tate!
A lot of people say girls love money and that's not entirely true.
you
Cheers, six. Do your fucking car. Today I seem different than yesterday. Oh, okay. Let's do it. We'll leave the house off.
I'm sorry.
Baby, are you breaking my sunglasses? Are my sunglasses here? You've broken my sunglasses. Ooh, you are lucky that my new Louis Vuitton sunglasses are in this pocket. You're very lucky.
As you're about to catch a case of these hands, let's serve you up a nice tall refreshing glass Of my left and right hands. She's in love with me again, Andrew. Love never ends. Love never dies. Love stays together forever.
Yeah.
Except for it doesn't look good like you. It doesn't like me. Why don't you like my brother?
It's fine. I'm just gonna hold it brave face and when she leaves I'll cry. I know you'll cry Andrew. I know you'll look.
I know you do.
Thank you.
You're a sensitive man.
You have a good heart. Too good. That's right. Everyone takes advantage of me. If you break my brother's heart, I'll break your face. Your brother doesn't have her.
What? Why?
You need a taxi. You're gonna pay...
pay him with blow drops. Me and I don't talk, she doesn't like me. What's your name? It's for taxi. You should kill me as a parent. How you take the taxi? You're gonna jerk him off? I will pay. With what?
Jerking his dick. Take the money for the taxi.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You're too fat, actually.
- Okay.
It's six now, what am I supposed to do here? For three hours? Exactly. Just like jerk myself off? Nothing to do for three hours. Is there anything like...
I don't know, cigar shops? Yeah, there is a cigar lounge actually. As the sun goes down, we start moving. There's a cigar lounge. And it closes at 7 because Luxembourg fails society. This situation would be like if we were in Bucharest right now, we'd be getting tomahawk steaks right now. Having cigars at Casa de David Borussia. Then we'd go out after that. Old City. Then we'd hit the club. But obviously we don't have those options now, so we have to improvise. We've got to mix it up a little bit.
- Yes.
Why were we looking like that? It has stripper written all over it.
We'll be right back.
There's a fair of society down there. There's a fair of society everywhere.
.
Marathons are for nerds. Western Europe is a failed society. All the girls are ugly. There's too many rules. You can't bribe anyone. You have to stick to the rules. They put on their little fucking marathon. All the little dorks running around in a big circle and everyone comes out for a good old time. There's free hats. Tambourines. Oh, let's watch the dorks run in a circle. I will never dedicate my life running all day for weeks to become good enough at running so I can run in a big circle one day in front of a bunch of fucking fours. Ugly chicks. Western Europe sucks. I'll show you a marathon.
Gin and Tonic, Maramite.
You sound Scottish, you sound American.
My dad's, my grandparents are marking my dad's English. - So we're gonna go down here, we're gonna wait an hour, yeah?
- Fuck you. - You're far away. You're like, oh, two girls. You go over, you're like, hey, bang, everything's going smooth. And then you're like, whoa. - Andrew, can you see an approach? - This country's a failed society. What are you doing to open to those threes? I stayed on the other side of the road, but they look like four. - Twos. - Twos. - From a distance, I was like, okay, two chicks. - You should be ashamed of yourself. - Hey, I did the right thing. I approached, that's what a man's supposed to do. I didn't know there would be twos.
luxembourg nick you in always i didn't even hear what you said i'm in
luxembourg is a failed society
how the how did we end up with a pink taxi i have no idea how we ended up with a pink car
you got the music on it like
*music*
*Bad music*
you.
I don't enjoy being a passenger in cars, but I do enjoy smoking and drinking. So if I smoke and drink the entire time, I'll have a good fucking time.
We're on some Jaeger, help you focus.
- Oh, you just keep that in.
Thank you.
One more time.
I'm going to go.
Listen, here's how you know that Western world has failed to stop.
*music*
What are you doing? Ganglermaster?
Hi. Do you have a lighter young lady? I do, yeah, I'll get you on.
So basically someone's car blew up and then they got one of the cars and it was moved around cars. So now Mike the camera guy, poor Mike, is stuck in the back of this car. It's just designed for children. It's 6 foot 1 by the way. The German police are looking for us, waiting for us on the motorway to impound everyone's cars because this is not a legal rally. So we've been told that this is a lot of people are going to be able to do it.
to avoid the police from taking a detour to try to avoid the police, okay? On top of that, I'm pissed off with the car I'm driving, because last year my car was better, and I'm pretty tempted to fuck this off, fly home, pick up my own Huracan, and start my own rally.
You decide what we're doing.
One of the cars is broken down. We've got a 6'1 Mike sitting in the back of the Porsche behind me.
The car is far slower than the ones that we drive at home.
and we're in Munich. All of our fun potential and money are letting our summer tick away
from a hotel in fucking Munich.
in the failed state of Germany.
and you're sitting here playing fucking games on your phone.
Yes.
Germany is a failed society. *laughs* That doesn't help! Start doing some dumb shit. Flying around the world, getting new cars, going new crazy places.
Thank you.
Those are the options.
suicide.
- Germany is a failed society.
-
No arguments.
No protesting
I have a fucking idea for you homos! We pack our shit!
And we go to the fucking airport right now. Nothing booked.
We check what's on the fucking screen, and then we make a decision.
We get the fuck out of this failed state. We hit the airport, we look at the fucking screen, and we decide where we're flying.
then and there. Why are you always drinking?
I'm going to go.
Thank you.
Sherman's boob's hang on.
Thank you.
you
Here's the thing though.
Most of the places are shit.
We have to make a decision now. At least get a short list. It's got to be east of here.
How about this?
Can't be too south. How about this?
How about this?
Gone.
Rebellion all this shit. Dumb.
We get plates.
to fucking Larnaca.
We rock up an Ionapa, get drunk out of our fucking mind.
I'm down. In charge of what?
Munich to Lunarkov.
Last time,
There was drama because
You broke the golden rule.
The golden rule is this:
You went to Kojitse.
without BMN, without T-Bros.
So at the end of the day,
He got rolled up on by 20 dudes. I'm not saying it wouldn't have happened. I'm just saying we got to roll as a team.
And this time,
We go back, we get it right.
We go to Kitchenel, the three of us.
With Mike. Mike's the good luck charm.
And that's it. To be fair, ever since Mike has entered our lives, I've had a bad day every day. He's not my good luck charm. I've had a bad time.
Since Mike showed up
So I'm not blaming Mike. He is bad luck. I'm not blaming Mike. Anyways.
Thank you.
*thud*
What?
I'm not saying this failed statement longer. Not a moment more. I need to get out of it. Tomorrow is supposed to be Vienna.
Vienna?
I just got back from there.
Suicide. Nick will commit suicide. I'm not taking him to Vienna to kill himself.
Now we're in Vienna. We abandoned our car. We're in Vienna. It was just a plan.
World champion Segway driver.