Transcript
Good shot there from Tate!
you
Cheers six to your fucking car
Baby, are you breaking my sunglasses? Are my sunglasses? You've broken my sunglasses.
You are lucky that my new Louis Vuitton sunglasses are in this pocket. You're very lucky.
As you're about to catch a case of these hands, let's serve you up a nice tall refreshing glass.
of my left and right hands. She's in love with me again, Andrew. Love never ends. Love never dies. Love stays together forever.
Yeah.
Except for... doesn't like me. Why don't you like my brother?
Thank you.
It's fine. I'm just going to hold a brave face, and when she leaves, I'll cry or anything. I know you'll cry, Andrew. I know you'll look. I do look.
I know you do.
Thank you.
sensitive management.
You have a good heart. Too good. Everyone takes advantage of me.
If you break my brother's heart,
I'll break your face. Your brother don't have her.
What?
Why?
You mean taxi?
You're gonna pay.
Pay him with blow drops. Me and I don't talk, she doesn't like me. You too. It's for a taxi. You should turn me on the phone. How you take the taxi? You're gonna jerk him off? I will pay. With what? With money.
jerking his dick. Take the money for the taxi.
Bye.
- No.
You're too fat.
- Yeah.
It's six now, what am I supposed to do here? For three hours? Exactly. Just like jerk myself off? Nothing to do for three hours. Is there anything like
I don't know, cigar shops? Yeah, there is a cigar lounge. As the sun goes down, we start moving. There's a cigar lounge. And it closes at 7 because Luxembourg fails to site. This situation would be like if we were in Bucharest right now, we'd be getting tomahawk steaks right now. Having cigars at Casa de David and Rocha. Then we'd go out after that. Old City. Then we'd hit the club. But obviously we don't have those options now, so we have to improvise. We've got to mix it up a little bit.
- It's $500. - It's $500. - It's $500. - It's $500.
- Mike, you smoke cigars? - No. - You do now?
Why were we in a pink bag? It has stripper written all over it.
Bye.
There's real society down there. There's real society everywhere.
.
Marathons are for nerds. Western Europe is a failed society. All the girls are ugly. There's too many rules. You can't bribe anyone. You have to stick to the rules. They're on their little fucking marathon. All the little dorks run around in a big circle and everyone comes out for a good old time. There's free hats. Tambourines. Oh, let's watch the dorks run in a circle. I will never dedicate my life running all day for weeks to become good enough at running so I can run in a big circle one day and run a bunch of fucking fours. Ugly chicks. Western Europe sucks. Especially your marathon.
Gin and tonic, Caroline.
You sound Scottish you sound American
my dad's my grandparents are marking my dad's english so we're gonna go down here we're gonna wait an hour yeah from far away you're like oh two girls you go over you're like hey bang everything's going smooth and then you're like whoa you see an approach this country's a failed society what are you doing talking to those threes i stayed on the other side of the road where they look like four
hey i did the right thing i approached that's what a man's supposed to do i didn't know there
in luxembourg nick you in always i didn't hear what you said i'm in
luxembourg is a failed society
how the how did we end up with a pink taxi i have no idea how we ended up with a pink car
*music*
*Sigh*
So
you.
I don't enjoy being a passenger in cars, but I do enjoy smoking and drinking. So if I smoke and drink the entire time, I'll have a good fucking time.
Go on to Jaeger, help you focus.
A nice idea.
*music*
- Listen, here's how you know that Western girl has failed to stop.
Thank you.
What up bro? Gangermeister?
Hi. Do you have a lighter young lady? I do, yeah. I'll get you on.
- It's greasy, you can see. - You can see. - That's why they try to get back. - We ran out of speed.
*music*
So basically, someone's car blew up and then they got one of the cars and it was moved around cars. So now Mike, the camera guy, poor Mike, is stuck in the back of this car. It's just designed for children. It's 6 foot 1, by the way. The German police are looking for us, waiting for us on the motorway to impound everyone's cars, because this is not a legal rally.
to avoid the police, we're taking a detour to try to avoid the police, okay? On top of that, I'm pissed off with the car I'm driving, because last year my car was better, and I'm pretty tempted to fuck this off, fly home, pick up my own huracan, and start my own rally. Well, this rally's your shit show, Andrew.
You decide what we're doing.
One of the cars is broken down. We've got 6'1 Mike sitting in the back of the Porsche behind me.
The car is far slower than the ones that we drive at home.
and we're in Munich. All of our fun potential and money are letting our summer tick away
from a hotel in fucking Munich.
in the failed state of Germany.
and you're sitting there playing fucking games on your phone.
Yes.
Germany is a failed society. *laughs* That doesn't help! Start doing some dumb shit. Flying around the world, getting new cars, going new crazy places.
Thank you.
Those are the options or
Suicide.
Germany is a failed society.
Huh?
No arguments.
No protest.
I have a fucking idea for you homos! We pack our shit!
And we go to the fucking airport right now. Nothing booked.
We check what's on the fucking screen and then we make a decision.
We get the fuck out of this failed state. We hit the airport, we look at the fucking screen, and we decide where we're flying.
Then and there. Why are you always drinking?
Thank you.
-
Jeremy's website.
*Ballon noise*
Bye.
Thank you.
Here's the thing though
Most of the places are shit.
We have to make a decision now. At least get a short list. It's got to be east of here.
How about this?
Can't be too south. How about this?
How about this?
Gone.
Revealing all this shit. Dom.
We get pipes.
to fucking Larnaca.
We rock up an Ionapa, get drunk out of our fucking mind.
I'm down. Charge of what?
Munich to Lunarkov.
Last time,
There was drama because
You broke the golden rule.
The golden rule is this:
You went to Kosice.
without BMN, without T-Bros,
So at the end of the day,
He got rolled up on by 20 dudes. I'm not saying it wouldn't have happened. I'm just saying we got to roll as a team.
This time,
We go back, we get it right.
We go to Kitchenelle, the three of us.
With Mike. Mike's the good luck charm.
And that's it. To be fair, ever since Mike has entered our lives, I've had a bad day every day. He's not my good luck charm. I've had a bad time.
Since Mike showed up.
So I'm not blaming Mike. He is bad luck. I'm not blaming Mike. Anyways.
-
*clap*
What?
I'll stay in this failed state any longer. Not a moment more. I need to get out of it. Tomorrow is supposed to be Vienna.
Vienna?
I just got back from there.
Suicide. Nick will commit suicide. I'm not taking him to Vienna to kill himself.
Now we're in Vienna. We abandoned our car. We're in Vienna. It was just our plan.
World champion Segway driver.