Transcript
so
Ah yeah!
Let's take the matrix!
That was cool, that was cheap.
Turned in the middle, it made me turn
Tristan.
Tristan.
Some lines you just don't cross.
Tristan.
You can fuck with my family.
You can take my kids away from me.
You can lock me up in jail.
But this is a line that you should not cross.
The Lada is being stolen.
They're taking the Lada.
They're taking the Lada from me.
No.
Oh, anything but the lot.
No.
Keep me from seeing my kids.
Ban me from having a family.
Take all of my money.
That's okay.
I'll let you off.
But you've crossed a fucking line now.
You've crossed a fucking line, losers.
This is too far.
This is heartbreak.
Where's the humanity?
Where the empathy Not my lot of alien This is sacred You don fuck with a man Lada No This is heartbreak
This is genuine, pure heartbreak.
Piece of history, this car.
I can't believe it.
They're taking my fucking Lada.
So expensive, so exclusive.
I'll never be able to afford another one of these in my life.
I can work for the rest of my life, and I'll never have enough money.
Ever.
to replace this wonderful machine.
Oh, we need them for evidence.
Guys, even if I was a criminal,
stealing my cars four times doesn't prove anything.
It proves that they're thieves.
It doesn't prove anything.
I can attest to that.
It proves that they're after my money, you know?
They stole his watch.
He's my cameraman.
They stole his watch.
Oh, it's evidence.
Nice watch, Bailey.
Evidence.
You're welcome, Bailey.
You know the police need your watch for evidence.
Your Rolex.
If it was a cheap watch, it's not evidence.
They didn't take my cheap one.
But if it's a Rolex, it's evidence, you know.
Motherfuckers.
Nigel Roy, do you have any words for Alex?
Hey Alex, there's your lamb-by-ghini.
You know Alex, it's hard being a loser who can't afford to fix his windscreen.
It's hard being a loser who can't afford new tyres.
So the police have done you a massive favour.
What they've done is they've stolen your car from you.
So that way you have no more financial problems.
You can finally pay me back the money you owe me.
My name is Tristan Tate.
victim of false accusations, victim of a corrupt justice system, owner of a stolen Lada.
And I will have my vengeance in this life or the next.
I don't want to say it
I don't want to find another way To make it through the day without you
I, I, I can't resist
Trying to find exactly what I miss
It's just another day without you
I like to buy new cars with breakfast.
You know, it feels like a good way to set up the day just to buy a brand new supercar
with your breakfast, which of course is two coffees, two forms of nicotine.
And the new Vanquish is out, which is fantastic news. You know the best thing about buying all
the Ferraris, all the Bentleys, all the Lamborghinis, all the Aston Martins, all the Mercedes,
all the BMW, all the Paganis, all the Kerning's eggs, all the Bugattis. If you buy every brand,
there's basically a new car every week. Sometimes you get two or three a week.
today is the brand new vanquish Aston Martin V12. I've already got the brand new DB12 coming,
the new Vantage coming, but it's amazing. For now, with my breakfast, I get to spec a car.
The coolest thing is what I do is I go through all the numbers and I see if I made enough money
while I was sleeping for the car. Now, if it's a Bugatti or a Pagani or a Kernan's egg,
That's not always the case.
Sometimes they're five or six million dollars.
I didn't make that while I slept.
I have to take other day's money.
But if you get a Vanquish, the brand new Vanquish from Ask the Martin, they're basically free.
They're like 500 grand.
So I'm doing the numbers now.
And it looks like while I was asleep, I made enough money to buy the car I'm about to buy now for 517,000 euro.
Well, to stick with the theme, you've got two masseuses, you've got two coffees, you've got two forms of nicotine.
Are you buying two Vanquishes?
The real question you should have asked if you were pertinent and astute like me is
your two bitches? And they're still asleep. You said yesterday that you're cutting out the fast food and yet here is Taco Bell
Taco Bell is healthy and delicious
There is lettuce on there so you might be onto something to me
No
I'm gonna grill my steak
Mmm, I'm gonna eat healthy not this taco bull
You said you're gonna stop eating
You didn't last 24 hours.
Taco Bell is not fast food.
What sauce is that?
Oh.
Oh, you were close.
Those eyes darted down. Yes, they did.
I'm on to you.
You wish.
Andrew, we can't encourage this.
What do you mean?
This is not okay. We cannot encourage him.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about your fast food addiction.
It's not fast food.
Taco Bell is not fast food, baby.
Fight, mom.
It's health food.
What did you say?
Fight if you want.
Yeah, fight to the death, me and you.
Fight to the death?
Come on, you cook all your liver and you cook all your fucking dorky shit.
Oh, I put vitamins in.
We don't talk about this fight.
What is health?
Health is breathing.
Wouldn't you agree?
It's a good question.
You laugh all you want.
Health is breathing.
You eat your fucking, oh, I got protein pancakes.
Yeah, I got a fucking taco.
Any further questions?
You can laugh at my fucking cheese sauce
while I'm holding your still-beaten heart in my hand
watching your eyes close.
You can't.
I have no rebuttal to this.
There's nothing I can say.
What you need to do, Bailey,
is sit down and have yourself a taco.
You do, Bailey.
We want to rebuttal to join in.
Today's a good day.
I'm happy every morning, but I'm especially good today.
Because today, I get my larder back.
I'm done.
I'm done.