Transcript
Good shot there from Tate!
you
Action!
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh.
Thank you.
Thank you.
sick
*Bang*
It's a bit too thick.
Thank you.
to walk us out of our arms to your knees.
Yeah.
There needs to be a way in.
However, I need some sort of massive hammer.
And we don't have a hammer.
And also this gap isn't that big.
Thank you.
Ah, okay.
Thank you.
How many do this by slicing this? I can hold it.
I think it seems so sh-- all right. Hold that. I'm gonna go find some sort of hammer. If I can hammer that, it's all right.
You should break the law. I feel like I'm a man.
You don't think you can push kick it?
The question is, do we have a hammer?
T, you don't think you can kick it, put your boots on?
He's gonna end up hitting your arm. Huh? He's gonna end up hitting your arm. Nah, you won't miss.
Thank you.
Thank you.
This ain't gonna end, guys. Look, my fool.
I'm from March 4th, my ex-preservation is in the shed.
Yeah, this is one time I wish my stereotype was true.
.
I could have got you guys on the ASAP.
Okay. And the key is...
It has to be nice and level. Not tilted up or tilted down. I'm going to kick it.
Thank you.
Oh, this is not going to end well.
Please.
God damn it.
Yep.
Oh.
*Bang*
Look at your heads. Mm. Oh, shit. Oh. Okay.
Alright, this isn't going to end well.
Oh, looks sweet, we'll do that.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Does it come off? No, no, no. It's not just the global fighting decision.
Amen.
So that I want to stop saying.
Duck tape. I said this is gonna unburn. Look, blood everywhere. Yeah, look at my not stitches.
.
God.
God damn it. How bad is it?
Where is it? Oh shit! Yeah.
Yeah, I'm just kidding.
- I think we might need stitches.
Yeah
That's going to hurt.
It's okay, I can take the pain.
Be fair.
Frankie, let me show you.
It was. No, this is 100% my fault. It was a bad idea. I will accept this as 100% my fault.
*shrie*
Thank you.
Luke, if I get the Wuhan virus from this open cup... Okay, now it's stopped bleeding. It has.
Good.
Thank you.
There, the bleeding stopped. Step one, now you're definitely not going to die.
Ah.
Do we have any tape in this house?
Thank you.
Okay.
So, I can't put liquor - stop bleeding! You're not liking it.
Trust me.
I've lost...
far more blood.
in far better scenarios.
To be fair, I think we should take Luke for a nice pint.
right now.
Thank you.
- Plantin' Guinness. - Yeah, plantin' Guinness. Plantin' Guinness will help you, bro.
Thank you.
A glass of wine? What do you think?
You are making a mess.
I'll make it as...
Hmm.
And there you are, ready to party.
Shall we book a table?
No.
- When home? - Oh. - Now, I don't care where the house are at. - Just dumb shit, bro.
Getting locked out was Tristan's dumb shit.
I still blame Tristan 100%. Luke was brave, but still just dumb.
It's just all just dumb. Unprofessionalism. It's not how I roll. Unprofessional. I like to get my shit, do my things right.
Locked out, people fucking around with keys. It's just amateur hour, man.
Amateur hour now, we've got injuries.
It's coming home. Gruesome.
gruesome, bro. Lost his fucking finger. Why?
Why?
Thank you.
Can we put some music? I'd love some music. Alright, sure man. There you go. This is nice.
And some KFC. And now I don't have to work out tomorrow. No burpees tomorrow. No burpees. Oh, I see. Now I have to do KFC. This is all a plan. Mouse made me laugh. I got to the room. He goes, poor Luke. When he's around you, his life is a disaster. He should go back to his house in California. I didn't have a house. I didn't have a house. Look. What do you mean house? Here he gets the Wuhan virus. He gets the virus.
It's better than being homeless. It's much better than being homeless.
way to the front of the queue, bribe the doctors, bribe the guy doing the stitches. I'm gonna get some bribe money before I go. We're good. Luke will survive. I will survive. It's a pinky too, I don't really need it. If it wasn't for my bribe money, Luke might die. I don't think I'd die.
Sorry Luke, don't worry. I'll bribe your way to safety. I'll bribe your way back to good health. I forgot my mask, bro. Ah, your Wuhan mask. We like your Wuhan mask.
I'm going to a worst hostage. Shit, that would be shit. Now we're going to get Wuhan. Yeah, now I get Wuhan after. Alright. Then your death will be my fault. Yeah. What is this? Again, I hope you don't, you shouldn't blame yourself for this at all. Because this was my idea. The thing is, it's a cocky finger. It's not like you lost your hand. So, wow. It's true. Could have been much worse. I've had, yeah. Wuhan. I cut myself that much, and then I stopped the bleeding by tying my finger off, and I kept drinking for five hours and went to sleep.
together right yeah so when these things happen i'm gonna leave a little party at my house was i
go get my bribe money save my cousin's life
bribe money to bribe everyone i'm not sure you could film the bribes try to be low-key yeah don't show their faces yeah i'm no stitch yeah yeah
bribes i'm gonna stitch on them no so i know how to fix the nhs in one
simple step.
Ready? Boris Johnson, if you're watching this, I know this
blogs getting popular
Here's how you fix the NHS.
Every hospital the problem is because there's no bribes insurance
got to wait in all these massive ass lines
with all these people who like
sprained their ankle playing football.
We're like,
Their thumbs a bit swollen because they opened a fucking tin of sardines wrong.
Here's what you do.
You hire one doctor in each hospital
And he is the go-home man.
Now, the go-home man's job...
is to walk around the fucking waiting room
looking at motherfuckers and saying, you, go home.
You go home. You don't need to be here. I was in hospital with Andrew. He had a break on his head after a kickboxing fight. He needed surgery.
You're waiting behind the queue of a guy who's too drunk
calling his wife names.
waiting behind a guy who sprained his ankle playing football, sitting there with his
shoe off and he gets up and hobbles to the vending machine.
Go home! Why are you in the hospital?
Everyone leave And the go home man Is to get rid of these motherfuckers In the waiting room Then There's a nice Fast speedy service
and the time wasters
something like that
Makes sense.
Horse chance.
Write that down.
Thank you.
That is good.
I'm going to buy the bill.
Thank you.
I've hired a translator who we will censor out.
A heart of a mania.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- Oh shoot, everyone's got a mask.
So apparently Luke has sliced a tendon on his
fingers.
I need surgery.
on his pinky finger.
is going to be a hospital.
till tomorrow. But that's whack and I don't really trust these remaining hospitals.
So right now I'm gonna take them to a private hospital
spend loads of money to fix
finger
because
I'm a good cousin.
Shit man
Good song.
So, who are you guys now? Because I'm a good cousin.
going to a private hospital, it's going to cost me thousands of euros to get your tent in your 50-50s.
but I also did
handy.
of a shake. So...
Thank you.
I feel I kind of owe you.
Can you open it? No, really. I shouldn't have gotten a lot more.
It wasn't bad at you. The door didn't get open.
We didn't even succeed. And you know what's happened now? It's Georgián, that's called Locksmith.
Alright, you go in and pay for the gas then.
What? No. Oh, I see, you don't have hands. Yeah, I don't have hands. Opening doors and shit. Me and Andrew have a rule. One of us pumps the gas.
The other one goes inside and pays for it. You told him to pump the gas. Yeah, but he's... I didn't know he was here. I could have told him to pump the gas. I chose pumping before I knew that guy was pumping gas for me.
I can't get it. Do you want anything? You want a beer?
No.
Are you sure? No. Red Bull?
Maybe a Red Bull.
Wine? No.
So you don't want a beer when you want it? No, I want a sandwich.
Whatever.
Thank you.
- You're filming one full? - Mm-hmm.
What's that beer you asked for? I didn't want a beer. Don't worry, I'll open it for you. I know your hands are messed up. Here you go.
- Sure.
You just put it between your wrists
There you go, nice cold beer.
Thank you. Enjoy.
I got you a sandwich. Alright, you put the beer away. Oh, I see. You don't want the beer, though. No, I don't. But the beer will make you strong. No, it won't. Ah, this sandwich is cold. I didn't realize it was cold. It's fine. I'll take the cold one. Are you sure? It's all the same, bro. Yeah, I don't care.
Somehow, you can eat the sandwich. Now, the good news is, I'm busy. So Georgiana is taking you to the hospital.
Okay.
Thank you.
We are lost.
Alright, take him back to Floresta.
where we work.
when they batting his hands off.
and tell them
to give him this oath.
Here's the money.
bribes, etc.
- Come ride, the hospital's a long. - I know it's hard, but if you need money for the surgeon,
And the first thing you do, here's someone, find out if it's local anesthetic or general anesthetic. Because it's like a tiny cut here and here. And they were saying anesthetic, and we said, oh, it's anesthetic. But I don't know if it's like the normal one that numbs your hands or like the one being good as...
Surely it's not that.
It can't be. Find out. Try to be the bride. Make things real.
The only Romanian who works on a Sunday is my beautiful assistant Georgiana.
- All from her.
Nobody does any work, so there's no part of the hospital.
It's kind of what you expect. The people aren't that nice. They're all efficient and there's, it's,
or not efficient,
You wait for hours...
But they'll do the surgery...
They'll give you a bed, but the bed's with like five other people.
They'll give you food, but the food's like a hard-boiled egg and bread with cheese. And they don't even – I can't open hard-boiled eggs. They don't open it for you or anything.
Listen.
You need to get them casts off right now.