Transcript
Good shot there from Tate!
you
.
Emergency meeting in the war room immediately. Both of you. This is a fucking emergency.
Get to the world. Now. Andrew, go.
- Thank you.
We fucked up. We fucked up. It's all fucked. It's all entirely fucked.
What? You know exactly what. Yesterday when we were in the restaurant, the steakhouse, there were two tables of people.
Where were those people from?
- China. - Chinese! The Chinese are here. The Wuhan virus is out. They're locking down cities.
There are three cities in China that they have locked down completely. Now we are guys who like to prepare. That's China. Millions of dollars in the bank are not going to help you when the Wuhan virus comes here and everyone's going to be in the supermarkets.
Sure, I have to shoot people to get the groceries, but the mafia guy's going to be shooting people too.
We need to prepare today.
You see how much self space we have in this house?
Right now, if we were to look down to see, we'd close our big fucking mail gates and we'd be fucking resort to CAPITALISM!
Within hours, we have popcorn and chips.
We are all prepared. Andrew, give your credit card.
Give me your credit card. Give me your...
We need to order 3,000 cans of canned meat.
And 140 kilograms of rice! Immediately!
We need rife, meat,
Wine and smokes!
Or we're going to get fucking starved to death in this compound of ours. We built ourselves a fucking wonderful tomb like King Khufu of Egypt. And we're going to sit here and mummify ourselves through starvation when the Wuhan virus kills our friends and neighbors. But the Wuhan virus isn't coming. It's the Chinese people were in the restaurant, Luke. You saw it yourself. Don't get smart.
Filipino or something.
from there. The Wuhan virus is here. It's real.
We need to stockpile food and booze immediately.
There were Chinese people. There were. Thank you. Food and booze. 400 bottles of wine. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry. A crisis of the earth.
Is it important enough for you to come in the war room with your fucking popcorn? It's all we fucking got.
I'm gonna live all this shit. You're pathetic.
I
There are Chinese people, Luke. That's all I'm saying. He didn't see the Chinese people. They were Chinese. Three cases. What's this? I'm ordering more food than fucking to feed the 5,000.
I'm Jesus up in this bitch.
There you go.
- Good morning.
I don't believe in running from things.
So Tristan yesterday had a panic attack about this fucking Wuhan virus. I didn't have panic attacks. How much did you order?
How much food? 3,000 euro fruit?
Yeah, 3,000 euros food.
I believe when you have an enemy you have to face it head on.
You don't run from it, you're adverse. - The end is a virus. - Yeah, but listen. There's a Chinatown in Bucharest.
Let's have chocolate.
I've never seen it, but according to Google, it's a Chinatown. I've lived here four years and never seen it. There's no such thing as a book correction. I say we go Chinatown so Wuhan knows we're not afraid. I won't go to Chinatown. The only way the virus is going to know is I'm not afraid of it.
I'm gonna get my supercar, I'm gonna pull up to fucking China.
Right here, right now, let you in. - There is no China.
But if you were serious about going to Chinatown, there's no fucking Chinatown. I've lived here for years. I know there's no Chinatown.
Well, if you get the coronavirus, if you start displaying fucking symptoms of the coronavirus, I will shoot you.
So, fine, go to China. Go to China County for money. I'll even come with you, but I'm going to wear a fucking face mask. And he started to say, he said,
and I'll shoot you anyway.
I'll shoot you both.
.
Thank you.
*Gunshot*
Yeah, it is.
I don't know, the witch, I'm telling you, the ass ass is deceptively wise.
*crickets*
*music*
.
four fucking years we lived in the sea four years how many times do you think andrew's wanted to go to chinatown fucking zero piss me off he's doing it on purpose to antagonize me see what you don't understand is me and andrew have equal shares in what we do equal votes and
But now Luke fucking has come along and he has 0.1 of a vote. He doesn't get a full vote, but he swings the balance. So Luke fucking American obviously misses all the Chinese people in California. He's like, yeah, let's go to Chinatown. Get the fucking coronavirus of Wuhan and die. Motherfuckers. I've got to go there and fucking die because they're trying to be clever. I ain't never been to Chinatown in my fucking life. Bullshit.
This Mercedes sounds a lot louder than it did before.
I am trying to fight climate change in my own way. I'm trying to emit more CO2 than everyone else. And I'll tell you fucking why. Because I deserve CO2 emissions. See, it's not me, the private citizen's job, to worry about CO2 emissions and saving the planet. I can't do shit. That is the job of the government. So what I do is I buy loads of cars from which I have to pay VAT on.
English pounds. Plus. That's more tax than most of you motherfuckers will pay in your whole life. So the British government is now armed with 200 thousand pounds extra out of my pocket that they can use to fight climate change. Yeah, I spent it on seven cars.
Yeah, I upgraded the exhausts and spend loads of money making them loud and making them pollute more. But shit, I'm fighting the good fight. You're broke at home with no car, thinking you're saving the fucking environment because you're taking the bus. You're a fucking geek. You contributed nothing to the government's fucking treasury. And it's the government who's going to fix the problems. What the fuck do you know about CO2 in the atmosphere?
You're a fucking geek.
Beautiful.
Okay.
I thought we were going to China.
Bro, the chants have closed.
So there is no Chinese?
Like I said
There's no such
Chinatown.
I'm going to take you somewhere tiny.
- You wanna go Chinese?
I'm taking you somewhere.
Bye.
Thank you.
F-Fool. Watch this. I'm taking them
to the most Chinese place
in this whole city.
tonight.
Thank you.
Tea.
Yoga iced tea.
Bro, yoga ice tea. What makes it yoga? What makes it yoga? So you're eating. Oh, wait, wait. Let me ask you-- no, no, bro, bro, bro. Let me ask you a question, because Luke doesn't know shit about the world. We found out that Luke is supposed to be a youngster. He doesn't know shit.
Who says yoga fire and yoga flame?
*thud*
Yeah, who says?
Yoga Fire.
Yoga Flame, who says that? I don't know. You don't know. They're probably dead. They're all shit from Street Fire. One, three, four, four, five, five. You don't know shit. What did he know about the stretchy arms? Nothing, nothing.
You don't know!
You lame them with the stretchy arms. When they try and jump over, yoga fire. Exactly. Or you use Chuck Lee to throw loads of kicks at him. That's the only way to beat him because she's too fast for the other character. When I've drunk this and you get yoga fired, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? Nothing. Yeah. Don't know shit.
These youngsters don't have shit. If he works for us, you're yoga fired. He's probably dead by now. Dal Sim never dies.
What, how, how can you go through life you don't know about yoga fire?
Don't sue? Yoga fire.
If Zangief was here. I bet you a lot of people watching don't know about Yoga 5. Everyone knows. Everyone knows.
The world knows about Street Fighter II.
You're the only person who doesn't know. Yoga, fire. Bro, that was my whole childhood. A geek. Button bashing. Only button bashing. Works.
.
*sad music*
Thank you.
*laughs*
ready for the end of the world.
forever.
That whatever, you're welcome.
Why do you have the boobs?
Booze! Red wine, vodka, whiskey, post-apocalyptic... Bro! Hoes! We don't need this much booze! Bro! Parties with hoes! The apocalypse! You'll be walking down the streets with your guns and they'll be like all raggedy and be like, "I've got whiskey!"
I go, why?
Get all the homes, it has to be apocalypse, bro. Emergency homes. What's the home is not real? Apocalypse homes are real, there's homes everywhere. How are we going to repopulate the human species?
You need the booze to get the hoes drunk to forget that the world's over.
Thank you.
Give him some noodles for your thumb.
Mayonnaise.
Why? Why? Bro, when the Hunan Chinese virus comes here...
and starts fucking with you and you and all of you,
I'm going to have food. The Wilhelm virus is never going to be... I'm going to be locked in my compact. The Wilhelm virus... If anyone's going to be got by the Wilhelm virus,
You're the weakest of us now. I don't believe that. You'll see.
I'm not in China.
We'll see. We're going to China tonight. I'm taking you to a Chinese place. One hour. Get ready.
Go in China.
I don't know.
*laughs*
Thank you.
I'm so excited.
I will eat lunch. I will eat lunch. It's good. It's good. It's so good.
Amen.
*Sigh*
*sniff*
Thank
Look at
Luke, are you all right? Yeah, I'm all right.
You didn't catch the virus from, you didn't get the virus from the restaurant last night, did you?
It was Japanese.
There was a Chinese restaurant and if you keep coughing, you've got the Mulan virus.
*Pfft* Bro! You need something to not hire it. I'm gonna make you sleep in the apartment above the garage.
until you start confidence.
There's no eating.
The code of the garage apartment will neutralize
virus.
That's it.
You keep coughing and you write a Chinese letter.
*sigh*
No, move back. Move back. Move back. Laptop. Still work. Thank you.
Don't touch my hand.
Take the laptop.
Man got the Wuhan virus. Wuhan virus. So, I don't have the flu. You're not allowed in my house anymore.
Come here.
- Okay.
Sleep better. Knife, four, eight,
Emergency rations.
Apartment above the garage, bro. I'm not having you in my house coffee. Go, take me a go.
Take them and go, don't touch things.
- This is bull. - Don't touch things, take them.
Bro, I'm not getting the coronavirus of Wuhan. There's no coronavirus. You were at a Chinese restaurant. There we go.
No. Kasey, leave. Leave the house.
Leave the house.
You don't need shoes. Apartment, apartment, garage. Go. This is bullshit. No, it's not bullshit. I'm not having the virus in my house.
There's no virus. Look.
Thank you.
Barber's is fake news. Look, it's not fake news. It's still in Dylan's shoes.
Watch, Dylan will be fired. We're very deep to tabinate those shoes before we return them.
Done.
*laughs*
*puff*
Thank you.
Thank you.
quarantined.
Thank you.
No more Wuhan.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
*Dramatic music*