Transcript
My two Aston Martins are brothers.
But my two Ferraris are sisters.
You may not understand that, but I do.
There's a lot of things about the world that I understand that you don't.
clearly by my fucking car park.
I bet you have like a...
A car payment.
I go to work every month.
Alright, goodbye.
Tesla, the case, I'm baby. Bro.
Money's not even fucking real!
"You're going to work for money, he's living a real thing." They type it into a computer and enslave you.
If they can make it up from the sky by typing it into a computer, and you'll do whatever the fuck they say,
for this thing they've just made up.
Even asinine dumb shit like sweep a floor, which you would do for enough money. Then you're their slave.
Money's not real. I strongly recommend, before you go to work tomorrow, you spend the next three hours understanding money and where it comes from and just how not real it is.
Because once you get on the other side of the wall, once you break out of the fish tank, and you evolve, once you stop being a little fish in brokey ocean, and grow legs and go to the land, like I am,
You realize it's all garbage, it's all made up. Woof woof! Isn't it, G?
Then you get sister Ferraris and brother Aston Martins and Bugatti scooters and mansions, private jets and boats, go to jail!
Thank you.
It's great!
It's great! And you're here with a car payment, like a dummy.
I'm gonna pick my car payment!
Can't pay my bills!
Inflation's so bad! The price of food is out of control! For you Brokies it is.
I don't have a fucking clue what food costs.
And you know what? I'm not even an elite. I'm just a poor guy with lots of money.
I'm from the streets.
from a Luton Council estate. And I now, after 10 years of being rich, have no fucking idea
What a loaf of bread costs.
I could guess.
Couple dollars. But I actually don't know. I don't know how much bread costs, I don't know how much meat costs, I don't know how much anything costs. When I go into a restaurant, I've never looked at the price in years.
Give me these five dishes, one bite of each, throw the rest away. Who cares? Money's not real. It's not. Everything's free. Everything's free.
I don't know the price of anything. I don't even look at the price of the fucking Ferraris I buy. And I announce a new car and I just call my dude. Give me two. Sisters.
To fuck?
Okay.
Funnies aren't real.
Okay.
Nothing's real. Financial system's not real. Medical system's not real. The World Health Organization and their bullshit.
The traditional system ain't real.
All these systems you rely on are all a scam. It's all fake. It's all made up.
Nothing's actually real in this world. We live in a simulation.
And I'm actually...
with my brilliant mind and particularly potent astuteness
have realized that in every single period of human history, there have been losers.
And winners.
You know, doesn't matter if you were in the
Han Dynasty in China, or you were the Aztecs, or the indigenous Americans, it doesn't matter where you were from. Zulus.
At every point in history, there were winners and there were losers.
And in this incarnation of the reality we're living in, in this version of the universe, those losers just happen to be you.
Thank you.
Enjoy your car payment.
*music*
Outro Music.
*music* I'm waiting on you. Tristan challenged me to a steak eat-off. Who's your money on? Is that why you're recording? Because you think you're going to beat Tristan at a steak eat-off. Do you doubt my power? Yes. You just had a chance.
Start with that, see if I'm still hungry afterwards.
This is the consumption world champion. I know it is. You have set a chance. I know what I like. The aged in-house ribeye, please. I like three of them. Three of them. Cooked medium. And give me one of every sauce. Thank you very much. Thank you. I'm sophisticated. I don't partake in such silly misadventures for the children to try and out-eat each other with $100 steaks. I'm far above that.
I would definitely lose, has nothing to do with it. I'm just having lunch. It's not even competition to me. This is so it can curb your appetite. Don't tell him. He's at a severe disadvantage now.
Thank you very much. And I will put everything in a minute. Sure. Thank you. Perfect.
Thank you very much. Barbecue sauce and aioli. Beautiful. Thank you. You're welcome.
- Definitely.
Might need a fourth.
Andrew, I might have bit off more than I could chew. Toast, G. Tristan's undefeatable. There's a lot at stake.
Bro, Tristan's already two sticks down. He doesn't even chew, he just unheals.
What about your Rituxan, Bailey? Let's go.
So, Tristan can just inhale it. You know, I eat a little bit slower, but at the end of the day... So, tortoise and the hare. Exactly. Or is it gay and the straight? Bro, I'm not even one steak down and you're done. You don't even chew. You just inhale. I don't understand.
It's a good issue.
You got dealt with, bro.
It is. Round one.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
You gonna finish that?
- Chris, how did you eat three steaks in five minutes?
People don't realize you literally did that in five minutes. It's a lot you can do in five minutes. Oh, you are numb. Bailey, playing push it to the limit isn't going to help you. I feel inspired. Made me hungry. I've been finished for 15 minutes. I told you, just pour this in the hair.
I feel so hungry now. The song did the trick. You don't? I do. Bailey, you look full.
Oh yeah your neck looks bigger than normal. You sure you don't pull? It's the neck curls.
Past the point of no return. I'm finishing these steaks. I don't think you are.
You gotta push the limit. I'm gonna come on the choke.
No ladies and gentlemen at home, this is not filmed in slow -mo. It's just slow Bailey.
barely eating his food.
The pace has slowed down to a snail's pace. It has been like 45 minutes. 45 minutes?
Since I finished, yeah.
You're right. You're right. Bailey, give up.
Bailey, give up. I'm almost to the point. No, it's okay. Just give up. It's taking an extra 45 minutes. You've gone nowhere. Just quit.
You surrender. Well done. Are you going to eat that?
There's no way you can eat this. Pass me the steak. Pass me the steak.
I don't believe you.
Thank you.
It's a bit cold.
There's no way he's gonna eat this. Maybe he eats that Bailey at a different level. Destruction for you. Tristan.
I'm going to go to the restaurant.
Andrew he's built different I admit
I told you. I told you he was built different. Why didn't you believe me? I told you. He's always been built different. He's the only man I saw in jail who didn't make a single phone call. You don't have to be built different to have phone time in jail and call nobody and sit on your own.
How do you feel?
.
Like dessert.
- - Take it, it's wrong.
Thank you.
Where you going? I have the number plate with the guys putting up the post-its.
Like the Roos guy? His camera's walking down the entire road. And the dipshit used his car. So you gonna go see him?
No, no, no. Wait, no? No.
Andrew, I have... Andrew!
Andrew.
No, no. I have to go film the roof. No, no. Hi, Samadjim. Hi.
What?
Thank you.
Thank you.
*Sigh*
Thank you.
If you're the average person sitting here going, my life's going to be fine, you are in for a very, very rude awakening. AI is going to make the average person absolutely obsolete. That is a fact. Don't worry, just go to school and work hard in school. Don't worry, just go to college and work hard in college. Don't worry, just get a university debt. Don't worry, just get a career. Then get a mortgage, pay your mortgage, pay office to the most. Don't worry, when you're 68, you might be able to go on holiday. Don't worry, take your intentions, take nine or you lose your job, lose your house, lose your family, lose everything. Don't talk about a lie. Happy lives, you'll have a good life.
That's all a lie and it's all garbage. It's gonna become harder and harder for anybody to have any significance in the world today unless they're an exceptional person. That is hard for most people to do and it's gonna get to a point where you're not gonna be able to drive where you want, fly where you want, eat what you want. You're gonna have no freedom, you're gonna own nothing and you will not be happy and you won't even be able to resist. And once all of this happens, it's over for everybody.
Wear the mask or get shot on the spot.
wear the mask, wear the mask, wear the mask, wear the mask, wear the mask, wear the mask, wear the mask, wear the mask, wear the mask, wear the mask. It's coming for everybody. And the only chance you have to escape any of this is exceptionalism. The average person's life is going off a cliff, which means you don't have time to sit around worrying about how you feel. Instead, you have to
wake up and say, "This is almost impossible, but I'm gonna do it!" And you have to get it done.
*music*