Transcript
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Are you doing what I think you're doing?
- Me, hello kitty cereal.
Hello Kitty cereal. You know,
I've been thinking because there's so many full grown men in this house.
How would I murder you all?
Because if you all attacked me at once, it'd be extremely difficult.
And if one of you found the first body, you'd realize something's afoot. So I'm thinking,
During the day in the garden when everyone's outside,
Perhaps I could lock the doors and wait for you to come in one by one to take a piss.
and then murder you.
You know?
If I get you one by one because you're unsuspecting and my knife is large, I have a pretty good chance of getting a
Quick kill.
My concern is you finding out what I'm doing before I've managed to kill all of you.
Who's your mate?
*sigh*
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Is it good at least?
Fucking back. It's amazing. Tee, I know you want Hello Kitty cereal. No, never.
Admit it. You definitely want some. - Baby, I would starve to death.
before I ate Hello Kitty cereal. I would eat G, my dog, before I turned to Hello Kitty cereal.
No fucking way in hell will you ever catch me dead or alive.
eating Hello Kitty cereal.
Alright, I'm eating some of the Hello Kitty cereal. It's actually banging, but I got a serious question.
We're in Romania. Where on earth did you get Hello Kitty cereal in Romania?
Yes.
I think you'd trust me the most.
Even if I was covered in blood holding a knife, you'd be like, "Well..." Hey Andrew, you're having a little accident? "Do you want to read the Bible?" I think he'd be the most trusting, and therefore the easiest to kill. True. Who'd be the most paranoid?
Maybe Tristan. - Yeah, I'll be a pop super paranoid. - He'd be like, "Hmm, I know you're my brother, "but something isn't right here." You, I'd just say, "Oh, sorry, Bailey. "I must have cut my finger. "Let's read the Bible together."
Just look down at the book exposing the back of your neck.
Thank you.
I just wanted to know where you got that Hello Kitty cereal. I don't know why we're going on this train a lot right now.
Thank you.
I take the camera at the end and film my own episode. Hey, confidential. A lot of dead bodies and blood everywhere. I'm bloated for the suicide, yeah. Just me. How do you use the camera?
Don't worry about it.
Ready?
- Okay.
Thank you.
Oh!
Did you say bowling? Yeah, I've got the bowling alley. Let's go bowling. Let's go fucking bowling.
I take bowling very seriously. And we're going bowling. Get in the fucking cars. Why are you in a suit? My bowling suit. You don't have a bowling suit.
I have owned this suit for three years and when I got it tailored at my Savile Row tailor, I said to you, this suit is specifically for...
You've never said any of this. This is all made up.
Everything about this is imaginary.
I said, "I'm ordering this suit."
Four bow.
three years ago.
Yeah, and everyone knows that $13,000 alligator skin boots are the original bowling shoes if you can afford them.
People just wear the weird colored ones because they're broke.
But why did it take you three years for us to go bowling if any of this story is true? No, I go bowling all the time.
This is the first time I've been bowling with you. I personally bowl.
every night.
I don't have a suit so I can't come.
You've got a holding suit, bro.
I'm not wearing a fucking suit to go bowling. Well, I'm not going bowling unless you wear a suit with me. I refuse to look like the only professional in a realm of amateurs.
So you either step up to the fucking plate,
and get this ball rolling.
Well you bitch out.
Nice. No. No. This is not nice.
Nice.
Nice.
Yes.
Nice.
I'm the best at this game. At this game.
At pool?
Alright, we'll play pool.
Who's the best?
How the fuck are you gonna challenge Nigel when you're dressed in a leather jacket and jeans?
Look at this man.
You can't beat this man dressed like that.
- I'm betting my money on Alex.
I came to play.
Ball.
- Bowling. - Not-- - Bowling. - Your bet.
100 euros.
Let's go Alex! Not anymore.
I'm scared of being.
You scared!
to be an enemy.
At my university, because I am from Texas, I took a bowling class.
NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Nice. Max Fun Cocktail. Give me 10 of these.
Ten.
Max Fun Cocktail. That's what we're drinking. Max Fun Fun.
So what the fuck you can do?
That's not...
That's not a thing.
- -
Now,
we can bowl.
Thank you.
-
*BANG!*
Thank you.
-
What can I say?
What can I say? What can I say? You're going down! You're not ready!
- Don't worry about a bowling scene. Look at these children's balls.
I can't play with children's balls. I don't work for the BBC.
One, two, three.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
-
Thank you.
Nice. I have big hands. I have skin on the neck like babies. Things don't fit in the fucking balls. Yeah, I hate games where my physical power doesn't help me. So I'm feeling I'm just gonna send it as fast as I can now we're not. We're physical power men. We just go as hard as possible to win.
- This is all gay. - I told you I would win. - Better have a skinny neck for my own annex.
Oh my god!
It was too strong.
It was too much power.
It's no tough sleep.
I told you what would happen. I told you. What did I, I went to bowling class. I had a class in college, dedicated to this game. You don't stand a chance. It's a wrap. It's a wrap.
It's done! Game over.
No way. No way!
- Thank you.
Right here, buddy.
The more crooked the vision, the straighter the throw. Exactly.
If you keep throwing off,
If you make your vision crooked,
Straight and drain.
science.
It's fine.
*gunshot*
*BANG*
Max power is the only way to do anything.
*Drums*
The tie is off, the jacket's off.
I'm feeling the same the girl isn't happy with your sexual art off I
There's no way you're not. Oh no!
I found PlayStation Bruno.
You can throw this bowling shit away. Then that's what I'm doing. No way.
I have never lost a game.
Five.
- Seven.
700 leg, about mainly.
Let's go. All right, cool. Let's go. Come on, Bailey. Bring it home. I'm taking your money. Alex loses his money. I just want you to win so Alex loses his money. And Alex loses his money. All right, Bailey. If I do this, we beat Alex and we take all of the money in his wallet. Let's do it. I need one thing.
-
That's my guy. You know Bailey sometimes I
cats
Can't explain why I'm friends with you.
Come on, baby.
Come on, baby.
- You better take it.
-
Action!
Nice! Nice! It's enough! It's enough! It's enough!
That's enough. Don't worry. The last goes where it counts, though.
*Tonk*
Envision, believe, manifest.
.
.
*sad music*
- Yeah.
Achoo! Yes baby! *BANG*
You're going down Alex! You're going down! We're taking all the money out of your wallet! Let's go!
So you knocked out all the pens?
And you get another turn because it's the last go. I feel great. Let's go. Let's try, baby.
Strike me! Yes! Yes! Let's go, Alan! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
Give me your money, Alvarez. Give me your money. Who do you think you are? Who do you think you are? I am!
strike to claim it a strike to claim it and he got it all the money in his wallet
Andrew, you gotta support Alex. - A double strike win! - Double strike! - Don't get it going to the five! - Alright, alright, oh, there's no way. - Alright, we'll see, we'll see the score in a minute.
quarter minute.
Alex, it's not done until you believe it's done. I'm saying listen to there. About to find out.
Yes.
Oh wait, wait, he's still in it, he's still in it. One more go, one more go. Strike one six, one six, let's go.
He's still alive
He's still alive
- A little bell.
Why? Say it! Say it! Hey everybody, give me a try out! Pull away!
What? No, that's it. That's it. That's it. Give me the damn fucking money.
- Whoa! - All of Alex's money. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's exactly right.
Come here.
There's still a dollar left! There's still a dollar left!
Wait.
That's why you have to eat. No, there's another five later. Everything. All the money. All the money, Alex. Half of this field. I thought you quit betting. I thought you quit gambling. Bailey. What's pressure? Bailey. Gone. You know, Bailey, Bailey, half of this is for you, bro. Thank you. Thank you. You deserve it, bro. Drinks on me. Drinks on me. Let's go.
Correct! Correct! Okay, no fat in this conversation. Well, I can tell you that inflation has doubled in the last 40 years, while the price of college has quadrupled. And this is what's actually dangerous to society as a whole. As inflation continues to destroy everybody's wage, people are getting more and more desperate. The average salary of a graduate with a four-year degree was actually more in 1982 than it is today. That is the underlying reason why everything is fucked. So you're saying college is a waste of time? Correct. I'm just saying not all knowledge comes from college, and there's lots of ways to get educated.
That is why I'm opening a portal to the real world.
I will teach you how to make money online. You can escape the Matrix, you can be geographically free. I made it cheap enough for everybody to be able to join.
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