Transcript
Good Aston Martin morning.
Thank you.
Good morning.
Coffee?
my brother my best friend Bailey uh -huh we're friends now we've always been friends Bailey I think they do what are we going to do a home of two v12 engines
are we replacing the essence warnings don't get much better than this
*music*
Fucking audio books.
- Okay.
Fucking gay Right so I've decided
The things are out of control. Remember when I bought that M3 for five minutes and it's never been seen ever again? It feels a little bit heavy, even though it is an absolute animal. And then I thought, I wonder if an M3 feels a little bit lighter. Driving this RS7, it reminds me of my M5, obviously. But then it makes me wonder, what's an M3 like? Like steering-wise, what's the feel of an M3, you know?
So the only way I could possibly find out is to buy an M3.
I've decided that that is ridiculous and irresponsible and immature and wasteful.
And I should never do anything like that ever again. So for that reason, I've stopped buying new cars.
be below the lake.
deck and off.
This is actually surprisingly hard to do with one hand. Do you want me to hold your coffee? No. I'm a master of Aikido.
Turn off this fucking audiobook. That audiobook's super annoying. Right.
What is it? "When Lose or Die" John Gardner.
So,
I've decided to be more efficient with my car collection and be like more
Thank you.
what's the word conservative I don't have to write absolutely correct word but you know what I mean not just buy cars and throw them away and not care about them so what I'm going to do is I'm going to send these Astons away to get some work done and get repaired because normally what I do is just drive them into the ground until they explode and buy new ones but I love these cars more than I thought I would the v12 vintage behind you I didn't think I'd like at all to be honest
But I actually like it very very much. So these cars are going off to get looked after. Then I thought well,
I could just bring the 765 back.
But then...
I can't do a dance with a car I've already had here. You know the dance I have to do? The important dance?
I thought, I can't just bring the 765 because then I can't dance.
So I had to buy a bunch of new cars.
*cough*
I don't see any cars.
Might have unloaded them already.
You might be a very efficient German man. Let's see.
Phone chargers, Aston Martin umbrella.
You know Bailey, once I saw some of you were stabbed, there's an Aston Martin umbrella. Let's keep it at never. The Hon guard.
Drug tests from the Romanian police. That's essential. Two cars or three cars? Two. Maybe three. Maybe three.
I need to think we get these ones in and then we'll yes
Thank you.
Oh my gosh.
The new GT3 RS.
The new ones. We have the GT4 RS. In fact, we have two GT4 RS.
Now I have a new GT.
Three R's.
should be fun.
Although I saw a drag race
GT4 RS1.
quite con
Unusual. Thank you very much, friend.
- 765 we all know and love.
brought it back.
summer.
And then we have a Ferrari 812 competition.
And then we have a
- Man, because we're always in the S-Class
but the peasants can see in, and like the poor people, and they're all like,
Hi!
Could I have a fool? It's a girl broke.
Fuck off. So in the van, like, poor people can't get to me. You know, I don't have to see them. Because when I see them,
It's depressing. It makes me sad.
She's pretty.
Gorgeous. But wait, Tristan hasn't done any dancing.
We can't go anywhere to come out dancing.
Fucking amateur.
Who did you think he is? I know. Alright. Well, how does it go?
police try to put us in jail, try to take all our money, try to take all our cars, couldn't take all our cars, couldn't take all our money, we have too much money, here's our new cars? Yeah basically, something like that. And then we dance?
Let's go. Let's go.
There was a really interesting YouTube video by some brokey complaining.
Complaining, saying, oh, like, oh, Porsches are a scam, and you can't get the new... He did a breakdown of a car dealership and how Porsches work, the Porsche dealerships. He's like, you can't get a new GG3RS unless you've bought 10 Porsches, and it's all a big scam. You can't buy one. I went into every dealership, and you can't get a hold of these cars. They're impossible to get a hold of.
Calm down, poor person. Calm down.
I want the same day just because you have no nobody respects you. Andrew Tate here what you got? Give me it.
Some fucking dork.
Well, I can only afford six Porsches, so...
I could have a GT3 RS. Imagine having less than 10 portions. What the fuck are you fucking gay?
There's always some homosexual on the internet talking shit.
Thank you.
So yeah, these are supposedly hard to get hold of, but
I'm not.
I'm sure lots of things are hard to do if you're poor.
How much does this cost?
Fuck knows. You think I look at the prices?
I don't even fucking know. $200,000, $300,000, $400,000. Most of the cars are between $300,000 and...
Eight. And to me that's the same.
So I just fucking
Click yes.
Aerodynamics, low downforce mode. We've got the downforce modes, PTV mode, PASM mode. Don't even know what that fucking means. It's going to be great. This car is going to be fun. You're going to abuse this car. Country information, Romania. Speed limits in Romania. Oh, this car is going to get abused. Porsches are like that 7 out of 10 girlfriend you have. She's not quite as pretty as the others, but she's got like a nice rack and you can just do whatever the fuck you want to her.
She's one of them, you know? Like a McLaren is the real gorgeous 10 out of 10, but she needs to go out for dinner or she'll be in a bad mood.
Well, Porsche is just, you just kick this shit out of me. That's wifey. Yeah, Porsche is bulletproof.
So, yeah, I messaged a competent authority, and I said, give me whatever the fuck I want all the time. It was actually very interesting, that YouTube video, because the guy was crying his little eyes out, explaining how difficult it is. It's really hard, I keep asking. Listen, the world is closed off to poor people. That's how the world works. You're not allowed nice things, and you're not allowed to go to nice places, because you're all trouble.
Look at a train, look at a subway. Poor people around you, it just fucks everything off. The people at the top, it's all a big club. You're not in it. So of course you can't get the car you want. Of course you fucking can't. What the fuck? Think about it, you're a Porsche. Do you want Andrew Tate to have a GTPRS so he can make this video and millions of people see it? Or do you want Joe fucking nobody to get one so he can sit there and hide it in his house and never drive it because, say I spilled coffee all over mine. It doesn't even matter.
Or do you want Joe Nobody to get one so he can hide it in his house and like never drive it on the street because he's afraid that he might put miles on it? Or do you want me to make super cool content drifting around kicking the living shit out of it? What's better for the brand? You think they're not going to give me a fucking Porsche?
You are all nobodies.
I've already ordered 50 grand of carbon.
every single piece of plastic you see.
relax.
- Oh shit. - So this carbon like the hood. Carbon, carbon, carbon, carbon, carbon. Everything's gonna be carbon, everything.
'cause they do it in plastic 'cause it's usually like a retract, a track car and they get fucked up.
So they go, you want to put carbon on it, it'll get fucked up. And I'm like, I'm rich.
So I had to explain to them, "Well, just order two carbon kits so when I fuck up the carbon, you can replace it." What the fuck?
- Thank you.
Dull.
Howdy loser. Howdy.
Can I dance and drive?
Can you?
Yes, I can!
You know the worst thing about these vans, because I had one before. Diamond light on the roof. Ooh. The worst thing about these vans, because I had one before, and I know you poor people don't understand, but I'm going to let you know. It's impossible to take a girl in this van without her trying to suck you off. It's so annoying. Every single time you get in one of these vans with a chick, this is so cool, for five minutes, and they're watching TV, and they end up trying to suck you off.
every fucking time. You're like, "Stop! You're the fifth girl I've seen today.
And the first four have already sucked me off. No!
Don't.
Trying to be sexy and shit. You know what's sexy? Leaving me alone.
Don't touch me!
That's sexy.
*Roof*
*Rumming*
Woohoo!
A12 is my favorite car, I think. I think it might be. But A12 might be the best car, all in all. But the GT3 is going to be super fun. And the 765 is the fastest car. I love them all. I know you. When you want speed, you go for the McLaren. And when you want all around, you always go for this.
It's true. I can tell you're happy. I haven't seen you smile like that in a long time. That's because I live with you.
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