Transcript
We need soccer beers. Let's get this out, I'll talk you through Andrew's genius plan on camera. Andrew's genius plan. Last night, we're going to film car reviews in the morning. Yeah, cool, cool. Get drunk last night, sit back down, wake up at 9am, right? Waiting, got to film this car review because we've got to come up with some football, yeah? Cool, cool. Andrew wakes up at 1.45. Trains for an hour. And he's like, okay, let's film the car reviews. I'm like, okay, let's go.
Let's go I get the car cuz I'm supposed to be following he films the bit the talking bit of the car of you and he Gets in fucking Alex Lam on bounces straight here to the cafe
Whole day's wasted I've done nothing I'm supposed to do all day five thirty five six o'clock I wrote home and I'm just like oh Why are you at the football? I'm gonna set up bullshit is this I
Tristan did a day's work and he's upset. Welcome to my life.
Tristan's in dire need of a 540. Dire need of a beer. I have a Ferrari with me. And you nicked all the security guards. I had no drivers. So he drove and made the whole security team follow him. So I had no drivers. Is there any way we can have a beer in Famosa Way? Get home with security. There's nowhere to take a beer. Nice.
Maybe we should just get some beers. We can drink some beers. Yeah, I'll drink some beer. Nice.
Why are we drinking pineapple lemonade juice at a football game? I think there's coriander in it. Drink some beers!
Many boys coming over, let's get to me.
of fans waiting for them to fuck it up. You're watching and you know it's just a matter of time until they fuck it up. And here they are
1-0 down against a country with less of a population than most of their cities. Slovakia. Oh, and by the way, every athletic man in Slovakia plays ice hockey. So they're not even good at this sport. Their national sport isn't football, their national sport is ice hockey. This is like a...
Third level sport for them. After fucking didgeridoo or some dumb shit. Probably some slowback Morris dancing. The retards who can't do that end up playing football and beating England. And then England scored and were offside somehow.
So here we are waiting for England to lose to Slovakia so they can all sit around and
The pundits can say, "Yeah, well, you know, next year, Southgate is getting it together. Then next year, we start to see the team form like that bunch of dumb shit, and they can lose again."
Great. England!
England scored? Ah.
I think I just have a shit to say there.
It's not in the way you've been treated, my friend. It's not in the way that you've been standing in the wind. It's not in the way you look or the things that you say.
♪ I'm coming for you, always on fire ♪
*Dramatic music*
No difference, let's go!
I don't give a fuck. Let's go.
Let's go out. I don't care. We have a pony.
- It doesn't matter.
I'm Bill Differer.
Training is better than bachelor training. Training is all great and new shit. Sit around, take this pill. We'll be in a pussy. Let's go.
body shot, your first grab
♪ ♪
Let this come forward. Three or four you're done.
Let's go.
It's on your feet.
Yeah, stand still and your face.
I mean, I'm uncomfortable for looking at people when doing patches.
I need 30 minutes. Up the cup, man. What are you waiting for? Okay, hands up.
Come on, cross.
Pop, pop, two, go! Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, good.
Up, catch, cross, hop, good. You cross, move your head, but did you just tell you?
Check this.
You know how I start holding, you know how to pass. See what I'm saying.
Yeah.
- Look, look, look. - Look at the back leg.
Look at my back foot. You see where it left in? It's loads of them.
And you keep a support and then loads the prop. They twist it to each other. Can I count them? You're doing them one by one, kind of here, here and now. It needs to go... But you know it's only also, like every day you have to do at least three rounds of pet.
♪♪ ♪♪
I'm on my way.
Massive.
One hour later. So I've been invited to live Oak High Schools class of 2024 in Louisiana.
I'll let the judge know that I need to leave remaining here for something very important.
I've got a love letter here. The handwriting is actually beautiful. It's beautiful handwriting. It's very neat.
I like girls with neat handwriting. They give good hand jobs.
So, it's all bunch of here. Blah, blah, blah. I love you.
blah blah blah no stick picture but she's giving me her instagram so
market research.
all the money in the pleasure of love prayer okay
Your mates, Matthew Yoder, don't they? I think we need to go to their grad party. Bro, if we were free, we'd just turn up at that grad party. Bro, we have to go. Completely random. If we're free and you send us an invitation to something.
We might just come. Dear Tate Brothers, my name is Sandra.
You've changed my life, blah, blah, blah.
blah blah Sandra there's her Instagram so that goes in the keep pile nice check out the holidays
Thank you.
You're not actually joking. You get love letters every single day. Every single day. I just go on their Instagrams and I say, yeah, that's worth a poke. And I message them and say, I will have sex with you, book of life.
And then they...
message my assistant and organize a flight and they come here.
When I sexed them, they...
Excuse me, human trafficking, I guess.
Da da da da da da.
In stock, it's in the keep pile.
*splat*
No Insta, trash. I don't know how much you love me, but I don't know what you fucking look like. Jesus Christ.
program.
Bullshit, bullshit, last one for the day.
Messy handwriting.
Bad hand jobs. Bad hand jobs. Girls, if you're going to send me love letters, please put your Instagram on the letter.
Let's save everybody.
I'm not reading it because I'm on Instagram.
I scan. If there's an install and the handwriting's neat, I read it.
If I scan, there's no Insta, I'm not reading it.
If the handwriting is messy, I'm not reading.
So you might as well put the Insta at the top. And then write very nicely. And then I'll look at your Instagram and then I'll decide if I want to have sex with you.
Thank you.
- No, I'm done with gambling. - I'm telling you now. If you do one now, high card, you're gonna win. - No. - Alex, Alex. Marcel's bringing the good luck energy. - Those days are long gone.
We have five minutes to wait on the Uber, just one go. If you just do this one game, you're going to win.
I'm kidding you bro. Tristan, how much?
Any amount you like.
Alex. - You're gonna win. I'm telling you now.
Let me check.
-
Thank you.
I'll take the cards. Where are the cards? No idea. In there, maybe? Where are my playing cards?
- You are good.
- Okay.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Make it even a thousand. I'll go a thousand here.
Come on deck, however you like. All special cards are equally high.
First is mine and second is yours. All high cards are equally high and numbers are numbers after that.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Put him down.
That's all it takes for us to wake up every day and smile. We're hard to kill. We don't give a fuck.
*Dramatic music*
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