Transcript
I can hear the chef in the background preparing for dinner.
And the reason he's preparing for dinner is this.
On X I recently posted that I'd rather eat whales and pandas
than crickets and worms. And someone who's been following me for a very long time,
don't know her very well, said, "Look, I'll bring whale meat to Romania." So I told her if she can get whale meat to Romania,
There's a cash bonus. So I've hired the chefs today. She's landed. She has the whale meat in tow.
She's on her way here right now.
and I'm about to eat whales. One,
'cause I wanna try whale meat, looks delicious, two,
'Cause...
I hook my boys up with some whale meat every once in a while, get whale power. And three,
because it's going to really, really piss off the environment a lot.
So it's whale for dinner tonight.
Hello.
Hello. How are you?
Dinner has arrived, guys.
This is my whale choreo. We're going to blur her face for the
sake of the internet.
But she's bought me whale meat all the way from Norway.
I do have.
Hey, can you hold on to this here?
- Me too.
So I do have the
I'll get this like a time of surprise and then we're good.
Oh, that was good.
- What is it? What is it? Like whale salami. - Yes. And this is the whale meat. Beautiful.
Here we go.
Let me deliver it to the chefs.
And then I owe you some money, I believe.
So I'm going to share the whale with everyone. This is whale salami. Come here. Some of the guys are here.
I'm going to go.
Alright guys.
Whale salami.
Thank you.
You like her?
It's made of wheel.
Hi. Hello.
Hello, gentlemen.
Nice to meet you. Thank you. Is it banging? I can't eat that. You can only get this in three countries in the whole world. We need whales.
No we don't! Fuck whales! This whale's not needed. Name one whale you're friends with. If I eat that... Did you miss this guy?
Eat the fucking whale.
It's alright, it tastes like salami.
It's an interesting taste. Bro, I will gladly take some whale.
You got that. Save like four.
No.
Bro, it just tastes like salami.
Now wait for the aftertaste. - That's what I'm saying, it just tastes not so good. No, there is an aftertaste, yo!
The aftertaste is unique. That's something that's not in-- I've never tasted that before. I don't eat pork, so.
What the fuck does a whale have to do with a pig?
Because they said it tastes like pork. I don't know if it tastes like pork.
- Oh shit, this is pork, I mixed them up. - Fuck you.
- All right, we'll meet Luke's awesome.
Whales are the most overrated animal. Everyone's like, "Law, the whales, the whales!" Whales don't pay your rent.
Whales aren't cute.
They're not small, they're not fluffy, you've never even stroked a whale. You love puppies or whatever. Cool.
You've never even probably seen a whale. If you have, it's been in Sea World or far in the distance, considering whether it eats you and your entire family.
- 4 in 1 says they live on plankton. There's no fucking way something that big lives on plankton. That's a conspiracy. - Definitely eats humans. - 100%. Now we eat them back.
First bite of whale.
Thank you.
That's beef as well. Fuck well.
Thank you.
Why are you making a weird face?
It's good, it's a new taste though. It's a new type of meat, yeah.
It doesn't taste like beef or anything else. It tastes unique. It tastes like beef.
Thank you.
Amen.
Thank you.
-
Thank you.
Thank you.
Amen.
Thank you.
Thank you.
First gaming.
Yeah, it tastes gamey. Tastes like liver. There you go. The most similar meat venison is a bit like whale. Tastes like liver. Whale's interesting.
All right, so what's the verdict?
Don't take.
Thank you.
I'm super happy.
that I'm eating a whale. 'Cause I know people on the internet are gonna be mad at me for this and be like, "You're setting a bad example because we need to preserve the whales." We don't. We need to preserve just enough whales to eat.
Maybe we should start farming whales. How big would a whale farm have to be? But I'm down for keeping them in small underwater cages, you know.
I'm not against those kind of farming methods.
I'm gonna add some taste.
Tristan's Free Range Whale Farm.
Buy some ocean.
And just make it one big track where they have to swim around in circles all night.
Sprinkle a bit of plankton on top.
Thank you.
Nice. Business genius.
Andrew, do you have any final words about the whales?
Thank you.
No.
Save the whales. Marcel, what do you think of the whales? They're the most majestic animal in the animal kingdom. What you guys are doing is outrageous.
I can't believe it.
I can't believe it.
- It's shocked in awe. - It doesn't even taste good, but I'm gonna eat it all to upset some environmentalist. - Yeah, I mean, as much whale as possible. - Tastes like liver.
Exactly like nipper, that's what it's made from. I bet it makes you strong. Whales can't make you weak. You may hate them, but they are objectively probably the strongest animal I've ever eaten. Normally I'd agree with you, but you just had a bite and you look weak.
So, you just had a bite you look weak.
I'm built with them, I've never lost a game. I've never lost a game. I ask them,
Never lost a game, not one.
- It's my own.
- Never lost a game.
Built different. Why would I not talk about Uno?
Okay.
Go on.
If you think you're a bad man, say something. We'll play right after this. Right after this.
*laughter*
That's right, shake your head. Walk away.
Why are you drinking coffee at midnight?
I'm built different.
Perhaps you didn't know that Bailey, but you should.
When they built everybody, he decided to build me differently.
So I need coffee so I have the energy to relax.
I understand. No, it's not a thing.
I can't sleep.
without the caffeine boost required.
Amen.
You never sleep and this is probably why you never sleep. This is not okay.
Sounds to me like you're fucking up then. Because you're sleeping and I don't need to.
Wasting your life away, aren't you, Bailey? Sleeping in bed.
sitting around being a nerd, wearing glasses.
- Okay.
Not me. Feel different. If I started drinking coffee at midnight, you think it'd heal my eyes?
Might fix your neck.
*laughter*
*
- Martha, admit it.
I admit it!
I've never lost a game of Uno.
It's impossible for me to lose. The math doesn't add up.
What is...
Six plus nine.
15.
One and five.
Think about it, one and five.
All bases covered.
One and five sounds like your record. One to five. One win, five losses. I have never lost a game of Uno.
Name a game I lost. You were all playing Nuno, sitting around, having fun. I turned up and said, don't give me cards. You gave me cards. I said, guys, don't let me win. I said it.
First game was kind of hard. Dodger put up a good fight. You too.
*laughter*
*
- Bro, easy, easy street.
Easy street. Admit it.
Bailey admit it. Maybe it's the coffee. No, maybe you need to go read the Bible again and learn something about yourself.
On what page does it say Bailey's a loser?
Which page? Which chapter? I don't think it says that in the Bible. Well maybe you need to...
decipher it like the DaVinci Code. One, five, work it out somewhere. It's there somewhere. Shit glasses!
Can't play Uno. Top G never lost a game.
Undefeated. I'll do it again. You think I'm scared of you? We'll play again right now and I will win again. All on the line. Let's go!
- I'm Bill Differin.
*laughter* That's not a thing. Don't make that a thing. This is a thing. No it's not. This is a thing for minutes.
I got to the final. Is this a thing?
*laughs*
Look at me!
I can't. Look at me doing this move. I can't. I lost the final. I'm upset. I'm upset. First.
Time in history.
I've ever...
Well, I came first.
But you won. But I came first.
Did you lose that game? I've never lost a game. He won, but I came first.
I like that move. Can you show it to me again?
One more time.
One more time. - I need, can you see?
Wanna see that?
You can double it up. Why does Uno bring the worst style to us?
Why is Uno a thing? Who bought Uno?
Several days later. He's the real boss let him in
Thank you.
Thank you.