Transcript
*Dramatic Music* Oh shit.
Where's everyone going? Oh didn't we tell you? Probably in Budapest for two days. Yeah we must have not told you on purpose so you don't come or go to the beach. I guess we must have accidentally sat around and accidentally decided to not tell you that we're all going to the beach, the Black Sea, because there's a festival there.
We're doing it for Tristan's birthday. Why are you saying we? You ain't going nowhere. Where's your car? I'm completely unprepared. Have a nice fucking weekend. I'll see you when you get back. Bye Andrew.
*outro music*
Oh, long time no see. You ain't getting rid of me. You ain't getting rid of me. You said I'm not invited. Well, look where I am. I'm right here.
and a full-eyed cracker.
Aye.
- Nice to meet you.
I'm not disagreeing with that, but I'm here. Gee whiz, Bailey's arrived. Golly gosh.
Listen, better listen up. Isn't that right, bucko?
Nice to see you, Andrew.
- The pigeon. - Oh my gosh, it's Tristan Tate.
What the fuck are you doing here?
- You work for the paparazzi, you work for the BBC? - Can I get a picture? - Look at my face, I'll knock your bitch ass out.
- We're at the beach, and we're in mountain boots. - Kristen.
You're gonna get some hiking in today.
Some good old fashioned hiking. Yeah, I think so. Yeah.
Oh
- Blinding. Nice. I'm gonna stare right at the laser. You can't be trusted with the laser. Why do you have a laser? - I don't know. I've had it on the chair. - Did you? - He's trying to point out. - No. - It's an hour, yes. - What are you talking about? - Alright, I'm immature.
- Nice.
- Thank you.
You got some fans. Tristan, we have a beautiful beach. Let me make sure everyone can see the beach. We've been sitting here in this little restaurant for hours on end. The Romanian beach is not beautiful.
The Black Sea in Romania is one of the ugliest beaches in the world. Anyone who wants to swim there is mentally retarded.
Tristan, I want to go swim.
See ya.
Do you want to come get in the ocean with me?
No. No? Have fun.
You'd rather just sit at this table,
on your phone all day long.
Why?
Where are my hiking boots? Because I forgot my shoes.
We can do this in Bucharest. When in Mamaya we need to go
to the beach.
Alright.
Let's have a vote.
There's three black men, one brown man, and one white man at the table.
Who wants to go swim in the ocean?
No way. No way. Marcel wants to go swim in the ocean. Let's go. Marcel doesn't know how to swim. He's voting for his own suicide. Oh, you're pooping.
- You can't swim. - Bro, go swim and swim. - Can you be...
I can swim further out than you can. For sure. Marcel, I'm down for this. Marcel, no, Marcel, you are fucked. No, because I'll do it to watch you drown.
Marcia, I know you can't swim. Yeah, I can't swim. Because I'd do it, just I don't like oceans. I'd swim fucking 200 feet out and back. I'd do it to get you.
I would disappear. To once you die. Fair.
That's true. I'm not gonna say, that might be too far.
That's a very Marcel way to die. He's trying to get to a swimming contest when he can't swim. No one would be shocked. His last words, can you beat me?
Let me explain something to you. Everyone's like, oh, there are sharks in the Black Sea. Oh, sharks don't attack people here. You do realize that the Black Sea is connected to all the oceans and seas. People would be like, lakes are different. Lake is an independent thing, right?
monsters and lakes, obviously, but not sharks. So what people don't understand is they're like, oh, the Black Sea, there's no sharks. If I could, with unlimited energy, swim from here to the Caribbean,
Did the shark, are there like off limits? Are there like shark bouncers telling them not to come in this ocean? Could a shark come here if he wanted to? Yes, that means there are sharks.
If you jump in this water, you are touching water molecules which are touching water molecules which are touching water molecules which are touching a shark.
Somewhere.
The Red Sea, the Caribbean, all the Pacific Ocean, Australia, all the places there are sharks.
That's it.
Once you get in there, it's the... - Where in the specific ocean?
Where in a specific ocean would a shark be? - Where would a shark be? - In a specific ocean. - Could be here. - Could be here.
I don't know. I didn't talk to all the motherfucking sharks. But there could be one up here. A shark could very easily have swam here. And I don't know. There's no roadblocks, there's no dams.
There's no fucking no-go zones. A shark could get here if it wanted to. It's hot enough. They could swim here if they wanted to. Therefore, there are sharks in that water by my logic. What about the whale bouncers?
Marcel, you look like a bad man with that ice cream. Say something else. Say something fucking else.
*music*
He didn't saw nothing. Tonight is the real deal. Because we will go with all these supercars and we will have fun. Loads of fun. Alex, I'm holding you to it. I know Andrew is mad at me because I brought him here. I know that. You've been insisting on coming to the sea for ages. But you know what? I was thinking about you, babe. Oh, thanks, Alex. Because I know that you never saw the Black Sea. I'm ready.
I want to put this in your portfolio. Thanks. Are we gonna go jump in the sea later? Tomorrow? Tomorrow. Alright deal. Deal. Nice.
But I don't know how much they did more work.
- So I'm going, you riding with me?
- Andrew's taking forever. He said be down here at 10, what time is it? - Fuck Andrews. - What time is it? - 10:06.
So Andrew's six minutes late and you can't be bothered to wait one more minute. Marcel's late, that's right.
Thank you.
Who is damaging?
the black stereotype worldwide by being late, and who was actually on time today.
You were on time. No, Marcel was on time. No, sorry, Marcel's not on time. Yeah, exactly. I was on time. He is on time.
Marcel is late again.
Marcel's the black man who's always slaying, he blames Nigel for the problem. So let's get out of here? Yeah let's get out of here.
Oh my gosh, Andrew, this is like Bucharest, but with sand, and they have water. It's amazing. I love this.
This is not trying to be romantic I hit it from the back, just you don't get attached I like the way you kiss me, I can tell you miss me I can tell you this is not trying to be romantic I hit it from the back, just you don't get attached You bite my lip, just want the taste You're on your knees, I'm on the case You take the heat and with such grace You say, "I'm not going to be a good one"
But don't go for your stuff So just get, I'll let you down Stick around and you'll find out But don't you wanna make him proud?
Cause I'm so proud Baby, I'm so proud of you
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*music*