0:08.08♪ ♪

0:08.37So basically,

0:11.31- Right, how was that?

0:16.93Basically what? Basically, we're dog sledding.

0:22.65'Cause it's always been a dream. The thing is with me is I do a lot of charity work in my life.

0:27.57And I work with a foundation called the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

0:31.94And just a few years ago I met

0:34.17A small black child with retardation.

0:44.16And he looked me up in the eyes.

0:44.34And this child Marcel said it's always been a dream of mine to go dog sled.

0:48.99Sledding.

0:50.07So I thought, you know what?

1:21.48Fuck Marcel, I'll do it in front of him and not let him go.

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1:45.18I'm taking you on a nice vacation. You can't have a single shot of booze with me.

1:48.78It's cold.

1:49.59Okay, let's do it. Yeah, he's a shit guy

1:52.62What you can expect.

1:54.93So Alex, the other Alex is joining us as well, right?

1:59.01Yeah, I jumped with you as well.

2:02.19How many drink?

2:03.18- One. - You have another one? - Okay, sure.

2:07.08If you want your lamb

2:08.37Of course. If you want to make it off this mountain alive. *laughs* If you want to see your family again. *laughs* It's actually real. Let me give you an example.

2:18.24A historical example: 1912 the Titanic sinks, yes?

2:22.86Very few people were pulled from the water. I don't remember the exact number, but it's like all the people pulled from the water after the

2:29.10Which ship rescued it? The Carpathia? - Que en la cua? - Whichever ship rescued the Titanic survivors, everybody who survived who was pulled from the icy water had one thing in common, what was it?

2:40.11Every single person. Blood alcohol level. Stops your blood and organs from freezing. That's booze, Marcel. Maybe they were just so drunk they forgot to drown or freeze.

2:52.08the one

2:52.71Yeah, Kennecrucian Chi, but Marcel has no Chi.

3:25.99I can't even do that, look.

3:33.21What is this dang shit?

3:40.20The fuck you doing?

3:43.21Working?

3:45.77It's cold.

3:47.07What do you mean it's cold? What are you, scared of the cold? I don't like the cold very much, no. I'm not a cold guy. What's wrong with you? I am the cold. Andrew, it's a fucking cold world. Isn't this what we preach?

3:58.56Isn't it?

3:59.61It's a cold world. It's hard being a man.

4:02.28So what you need to do

4:03.33in the fucking cold is to stay in the fucking cold. What's wrong with my brother?

4:07.71Is he gay?

4:08.73by all.

4:09.48Yes, sir.

4:10.92Champions diet cigarette and coffee

4:13.47Of course.

4:15.90But you expect us to join you?

4:17.25Thank you.

4:41.32- Okay.

4:41.32- Tired Marcel. - You're both tired. - Marcel, if you're, hear me out. You're next to Valli, you're next to Alex, yeah? And you're trying to sleep, right?

5:21.70You see this? Marcel caught on camera sleeping with men. No you were trying to sleep with them but they didn't want to sleep with you back.

5:32.64♪ music playing ♪

5:32.70Didn't do much snowmobiling. Turns out minus 20 is actually cold. You wouldn't believe that. Until you're on a snowmobile with wind in your face. It's freezing. And I can never be out in the cold.

5:43.77without for some reason thinking of war.

5:46.81Especially the Russo-Fino War, where the Russians and the Finnish were fighting in the early stages of World War II. There are so many people who died of frostbite, and when the Finns or the Russians are dying of frostbite, it must be cold.

5:59.40But basically all of World War II, even the current war in Ukraine-Russia right now, you can't just light a campfire because a drone's gonna blow you up. So imagine sitting there in a ditch, freezing cold, too cold to even pull the trigger on your gun, dreaming of the day you get to go home because some politician decided to send you to die for a war that you don't even truly understand, shivering, hoping for nothing more than a hot meal.

6:23.25And then you hear some feminists say, "Life's harder for a girl, I have to get hair extensions!" Bro, the world's such a fucking mess. So yeah, cold reminds me of war, it makes me glad I'm not in those type of wars and I'm only in a different type of war because

7:08.82Although I am fighting the Matrix for humanity and for the souls of the young men of Earth, at least I have heating. So no more snowmobiles.

7:38.92♪ ♪

7:57.42Give you what?

7:57.42It's like two dollar curses. Gold diggers not allowed you can't have two dollars.

8:32.20I'm not a self-made fool.

8:32.20Little road sodas? Marcel, one dark beer. Alex, get one.

8:32.20Come on boys, road beers. Crack 'em open! Let's get crack-a-lackin'!

8:46.80Woo! You got any smokes? Oh fuck yeah we got smokes. Sir what's my name? Bro the beer's good right? I know it's really good. It's my favorite beer. It's like a meat something like potatoes. Oh shit. Andrew took my smokes. No. Alex do you have smokes? You mean cigarettes? Huh? Alex you have cigarettes you're officially my hero. I have you too.

9:38.86You have my cigarettes. You know what? I called you a gold digging stupid bitch. Earlier in the supermarket, and I would like to apologize. Okay? I'd like to apologize. You're actually not a gold digger.

9:50.10Elite hydration.

9:51.63- Okay.

9:53.33Anyone who thinks that Capri Suns are not for gangsters can come say it to my fucking face.

9:58.73Top G. Remember when you were a kid and you badly wanted a Capri Sun?

10:05.65Everyone's been through that series of events. Everyone's lived that story. Where you're a kid and you get a Capri Sun and you're super happy. Or you go over to your friend's house and they have Capri Suns in the fridge because their parents were rich. And your parents made you drink government juice. Otherwise known as tap water.

10:23.33cupboard and you'd have that one friend who was rich and you're like why don't you just eat all this stuff all the time he's like oh i don't really want it what do you mean you don't want it it's there in the cupboard you can just grab it my house had nothing no food no capri suns nothing we had enough food for my mom to prepare and cook a meal you couldn't touch any ingredient because that's all that existed if you touch anything you got whooped i remember one of my friends used to have a whole fridge full of capri suns and he barely drank them because he was a

10:52.95When I grow up, I'm going to drink Capri Suns all the time. And then I grew up and became a billionaire. And I don't drink enough Capri Suns. All in all, considering how many I can afford, I don't really drink that many. So perhaps, ah shit, I just worked out why I don't drink Capri Suns. I just remembered why I stopped drinking them as often as I did. Do you know why? Why?

11:22.95The straw is perhaps a Capri Sun is the most straw intensive drink you can possibly buy. There are so many other drinks you can buy where the straw is not essential, not only for consumption, but to access the product. The straw is the most essential point of a Capri Sun because without it, you can't get to the Capri Sun and you cannot consume the Capri Sun. That is not true for cans. That's not true for bottles. I can't think of another drink that's literally true for.

11:52.95And they've still replaced the straw with a paper one, which fails.

11:59.41Why didn't Capri Sun keep plastic straws? Now my heart's broken. I remember now. You gotta save the turtles. I remember the patrol. Fuck the turtles!

12:10.87Ninja turtles are fine. Those are the only ones that matter. Ninja turtles ain't getting bust up by no straw.

12:17.17Bro. A straw-intensive beverage like the Capri Sun sold out to the globalist agenda.

12:36.67Turning all the frogs gay. Turning all the straws paper.

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