Transcript
*music*
I will drive right now if you really want. You'll come out of that anyway. Well, yeah, if you guys want to cry about going to a hotel in Brash Up, I'll drive there right now. I hope they actually give a shit. I say we booked and planned everything already for weeks and the fucking whole itinerary is planned. Let's just go when we're supposed to. That's what I say. But if everyone's going to cry at me,
Everyone's going to be a little bitch. Get in the car right now. Right now. No shower, no change. Give me a pair of shoes. Let's go. Okay, but are you going to drive back same day?
- Probably not.
I'll just cancel all the plans I have. Fuck everyone.
I'll sit in a hotel with you losers. And I'll order Palinka and then Andrew will say, you guys are sitting around drinking, that's stupid. When there's nothing else to do in Brasco besides sitting around in the hotel. There's nothing else to do once we get to that hotel.
That's going to be the plan.
But if you insist, I'll put on shoes right now. Give me the X6 key. I'll drive right now.
to brush off.
I'm talking with it leaving within five minutes. I don't give a shit. Because you guys are making me out to be boring for making plans when we decided we weren't going. So I made plans and we have the same meeting the next day. And I'm like, well, now I have plans. None of us did. In fact, we planned all the Brashoff shit. And it's all booked and paid for on specific dates. Oh, but you're going to go today. It's like a fucking bunch of babies. Fucking can't wait for their fucking birthday cake.
Seriously, a bunch of crybabies. Like, oh, desserts coming after dinner. No, I want dessert now! Dessert's scheduled after fucking lunch and dinner. That's the fucking schedule. So our whole vacation to go all around Romania, doing five star, all organized, when the hotels are definitely not full like they will be now because we'll drive there to a full hotel. Everything is organized. We planned a massive vacation.
But everyone must be so impatient that they for some reason want to go to a random hotel lobby
three and a half hours drive from here, when the drive isn't going to be entertaining, because there's going to be snow, and there's going to be traffic, if you all insist, let's leave in five minutes. Andrew, final call. I'm down. I don't give a shit.
Fuck you, you wanna dance or try me? Call me fucking boring. Let's go, I'll cancel all my plans. You know I don't give a fuck.
Live postcard.
*laughs* He's all in! He's all in!
I bet all the super chat money on the next hand.
I keep getting pressure for everyone.
You are all linking.
Yeah.
Just say what the fuck? Everyone's gonna browse so bad. Yeah, let's fucking go!
- Bye! - Bye!
- Clap up.
Thank you.
you
Why did you give Mickey Mouse money?
Because, I'll tell you why.
It's cold. It's cold out here. And that person obviously isn't a high income individual. They're not begging.
They're on the streets doing a Mickey Mouse voice trying to detain people who are stuck in traffic.
So she deserved my $50. Good for her. Safe inside the igloo.
Marcel likes it, Lucy. Are we safe?
-
Are we safe?
Yeah, we're safe beside the igloo. I mean obviously anyone could see us and shoot at us and the igloo wouldn't save us and we're on display.
Is it?
I mean Bulletproof is here. True. So you're saying if gunfire starts we throw Bailey in front of us. The cameraman never dies.
.
I think he might.
You're gonna smoke us out with these sickies.
- -
I'm warming up the igloo
People really have no dignity.
Bro, it's...
For chocolate?
Thank you.
I'm still not going to lie that looks sweet.
- Thank you. - Thank you. - You ready?
For him and for Marcel.
Join me.
Yeah, I'm going to join.
If you drink your beer... Can I have one of those hot chocolate?
One foot, chocolate?
- One more?
I'll take a hot chocolate.
-
-
Tristan hates my heart.
Actually make that one more hot chocolate for this gentleman right here.
I'm not nine years old.
The conversion is happening. I'm an adult.
Otherwise we're just gonna be miserable. I had one yesterday, one today, okay.
I'm counting Marcel's hot chocolates.
and they will translate to something
-
He's responsible for these two as well.
Thank you.
to eat, you're outnumbered.
- -
Thank you. You're welcome.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
baby.
Bro.
Sip the beer.
Then the hot chocolate. Sip the beer.
Then the hot chocolate.
Thank you.
one.
Nice, nice.
- -
Thank you.
Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
It's kinda gay. It's kinda gay.
You gotta get lost to Kri.
- Wait.
You look less gay sucking a dick, bro.
Andrew, I know it would wake you up. What kind of coach are you?
cold plunge.
Thank you.
Cold.
Plunge is the equivalent of 20 coffees.
but it will actually wake you up. - Okay, we can't do that, but we could have a sauna party.
make us extra sleepy.
Let's have a sauna party. I'm down.
coffee.
staying exhausted.
- So on a party?
- Thank you.
for you.
please feel it.
Thank you.
Alex, you can't shake orange juice.
course.
No.
Of course I can.
We're corrupting an age-old institution. Marcelo, he was brave. Yeah. No, we haven't filmed. They all know. Marcelo family.
You don't even want to drink. What is this? You can't just get giant private jet shake. This is stupid.
Sorry, Tristan.
You need to...
Keep your doubt.
A few moments later.
Sick! I'm gonna fuck you up at Costa Rica, Tristino. Pussy. Maybe you haven't even played Costa Rica in your life, have you? Have you? Pussy.
I've discovered something I like about it. Cities of Splendor.
Bro, you're such a bitch your whole life.
Have you ever played Hive?
Thank you.
- Bro.
I spent my whole life secretly coming here behind your back. Every single time you didn't know where I was, I was here practicing all of these games. I know all of the rules I've been practicing and it has been my life ambition
For all the years I've pretended to like you as a brother, to decimate you and destroy you in any game you choose. Choose one, I dare you!
I dare you to choose a game! Well that's very interesting.
Because every time you didn't know where I was,
Which is twice the amount I didn't know where you were.
I've been here.
learning all the games and all the rules to eventually destroy you, knowing full well that you come here and practice. I've been putting in the extra hours.
Well then it sounds like
With two formidable forces of nature like ourselves, the only way to find out who the real man is, is a game of munchkin.
Ha ha ha ha.
Watch the fuck out.
This is gonna be sick! Board Dave takes forever to learn the rules. He's not even gonna master it, he's gonna give up after five minutes. Takes forever to learn the rules. My brothers are fucking dunks.
Bro, board games are for eight-year-olds.
.
One type of card, obviously.
How many foam guns we got? I think two guns. No, you don't get two guns. I say bar stuff.
Okay. That was cooking right.
How many guns are gone?
One, two, three, baby's got a gun, you just got a gun, ass got a gun, boom, boom, it's enough. Alright, so we've got one thumb gun.
Thank you.
You see that? You see that? See the difference? Between white shooters and black shooters? Look at his hand.
No trigger discipline. Zero. Zero trigger discipline. Trigger happy.
*laughs*
And this finger is itching.
Say something.
Say Samual.
Got to burst.
What?
So it's the turn of the game. Double get your character.
Thank you.
You're going to flip over one of those piles of eight cards...
and turn them up for people to see. And then everyone is gonna choose
Either a bullet card, a click card, or a bang card. You can choose which one you want.
I don't know why it matters. You're going to choose one and you're going to put it down in front of your character. Guys, this is
Do we choose this pile? Do we turn them up already?
- Time out.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, oh, oh.
Okay.
Everyone choose a bullet, a bang or a click?
Okay.
Great.
- Thank you.
So you put it in front of the couch. You have a bang or a click, OK?
Thank you.
- How's the fucking college?
- Thank you.
But you're supposed to put it this way so people can't see if you put bang or click. 'Cause bang is shoot, click is fail.
So you have to decide if you want to shoot or not on this turn, obviously.
Right, I count to three.
One, two, three. On three...
Each player must hold at gunpoint another player. *laughs* Nice!
Ready?
Everyone's putting their card in front of their guy.
Don't put the car in front of the guy, yeah?
One--
two, three.
Okay.
Say everyone's shot me!
What's even?
Once each layer has chosen to target,
the godfather
can order another player to change their target, and they must.
So I get to choose. So how dare you shoot your enemy? You shoot at his enemies. Shoot at Marcel. Do you get to choose who you choose?
That's it. That's all I'm going to say.
Who she wants or who you want?
Just shut up. Who I want. Right. I'm not entirely sure. I count to three again.
On the count of three...
you have the chance either to put down your gun and lay down your character
So run away from the fight.
or to stay in the fight, and then it's going to be whether you have a bullet or a click versus the other people, I think.
I don't truly understand. All right, count to three.
No one's gonna put their guns in. Count to three. One, two, three.
Okay, two of them are out.
All right.
Okay. Shit.
Why did you do that? Because I know she would pick bang.
*whispers* Okay, what's that? Right, if you still have a gun in front of you, you turn your card over. If it's click, nothing happens. If it's bang, you're shot. And if you're shot, you don't get any of the loot for this turn.
Let's turn it over. No one's even pointing at me, so I'm fine. Mine's a click, so...
No one dies. I look at mine.
- What are you? - Bang!
Bang! - Prime your day.
So who'd you shoot? Yousif. So Yousif and Tristan are Shaw.
More like that.
No money, no honey.
Why is this? Marcel, quit fucking complaining. Marcel, Marcel, Marcel. We said pina colada, why is this?
- One second. - Oh yeah, yeah, please. - Now, Markson, you good? You good? - Wait. - You sure you don't want it? - Yeah, yeah. - With tears. - With tears. - Okay.
I don't want it. You want it?
So he's gonna drink his drinks, 'cause he ain't crying. Okay, cool, yeah, cool.
One hour later
Why did we leave being out?
do this.
- It made perfect sense. - We made no sense
And we shouldn't be doing it.
Thank you.
Okay.
*fart noise* Just saying. On the small TV, what I do is I take my skill and I compact it down
to a smaller level for a higher concentration of skill. Take the Picardi ROM, crack it open...
Thank you.
Thank you.
Smash attack, miss, Aikido, Smash Bros. So I can't even punch a bottle while I can beat you all up.
You know that is
- If I had such a awesome bastion next... - It's because I wasn't in the game. - Oh, you were in the game? But now you're in the game, yeah? - Now I'm in the game. - Let's fucking roll.
fucking right back oh my no drink this gin
*clap*
If you're scared baby it's fine just quit. Because you're... Toilet. That'd be a little bitch. Hold in.
Thank you.
You ready?
Yeah. Yeah, a bit of Martell. It's a problem. Scared? I don't know what this is.
I'm kidding, you don't know what it is. It's booze, bruv. You're scared, right?
Well done, Bailey. Or Marcel, you're two drinks behind.
Too bad. So you quit, you quit. Live on camera you quit. Tomorrow.
You said come down. Come down. Come back up. What? What's wrong? I'm gonna get a character. There's no way.
You're not jealous. Alright, I'm a little jealous. You're all jealous. You're not having any fun. I am.
That's a power play. I'm famous as fuck. I don't talk to any people. Victory. What are you thinking about tonight? It's fun? What have we become?
*music* Tristan, there's no way this is okay. Or Andrew's action. *music*
Who's your mate? It's definitely your mate. Your mate? Not my mate. Your mate is yours.
I'm out.
Music.