Transcript
*music*
Where are we going, baby?
I actually have no idea.
Truthfully.
Neither do fucking I.
We're going to see where the sat-nav takes us.
So we're road men.
I love you.
Exactly.
Why do we see that?
I'll drive six hours.
See what's the way.
This is vitamin C.
No, that is anti-vitamins.
What letter does cigarette begin with?
Nice. You got them.
*laughs*
So secrets.
Containing.
- By the roots. - Exactly.
Exactly.
We're getting stuck.
It's true.
Right, we're off to the mountains.
Let's fucking go. It's been a year and a half since I've left the house.
very early
five something
It's a little bit too early for
crazy Jamaican music
If you're a pussy.
So we're going to go to the mountains and I have no intention, I have no idea what we're going to do because they put a bunch of activities together.
But the only activity I'm interested in is fighting the Matrix, destroying them, staying alive. Staying alive is activity for me.
They're like, "Hey, we can go do this extreme activity." Nah, bruh. Nah. That's when they're gonna set it up. That's when they're gonna get me.
Horse riding. No, the horse is trained by the Matrix. You don't even understand. Something to get me. When I'm trying to find fun. No, my fun.
security team.
sitting around strapped
Look out the window.
That's my fun. My fun is staying alive as long as possible, which is difficult in my scenario. Not jumping out any planes.
None of this extreme sports crap. Go in the ocean. Ooh, I got wet.
So gay.
Thank you.
No.
So we're gonna go there, they've got all these activities planned, I'm gonna look at them one by one and go, "No, sorry."
Sorry. Nuh-uh.
Thank you.
white people shit white people love that shit
Being brown is extreme enough.
So we're gonna go to the mountains.
I'm gonna set my laptop and I'm gonna work.
which would be a welcome change from waking up in my house and sitting on my laptop from working.
I'm sure it'll be very different. Totally worth the six hour drive. Totally worth it.
What kind of juice is that? What juice is that?
I have a teddy bear.
Bro, you grew up with a silver spoon in your mouth. You're not from where I'm from. What do you know about the ghetto? Bro, we're from the same ends. What are you talking about? No, no, no. Your street is a whole two streets away. It must have been different over there. Gold-plated.
This is bad man juice. What do you mean what juice is this? Would you fuck with him? Seriously? On the street? Yes, but... No, no. You see him on the street. Street rules. Would you fight him? Maybe not street rules. Exactly. This is the... Real G's drink this. It's Ted.
paper straw garbage, Ted has a plastic straw. Ted didn't sell out to the agenda and sometimes, what really makes a man is not how he looks, but the fact that he stands up for what he believes in against the enslavement that they're trying to bestow upon us all, Marcel. So just because you grew up with your silver spoon bullshit, you don't know what gangster Ted is. Maybe now you can appreciate that he's fighting for your rights to have a plastic straw instead of becoming a little
Uncredited piece of shit.
I think you owe him something. I think you owe Ted an apology. It might be a G with a plastic straw. Bruv. Built different. Is it good at least? Bro.
I might stop at the next place I see it and just rob it.
So Tristan being typical Tristan, saw the itinerary, saw we were supposed to stop here, have a nice coffee,
Look around the castle.
and has just said
No, fuck that. I'm going to the hotel.
because Tristan is Mr. Killjoy.
So he's driven straight to the hotel.
refusing to do anything, and we've been standing here waiting for him, and he's not coming.
Typical Tristan move. 100% Tristan.
"You're a pussy, you don't drink, blah blah blah" and if that doesn't work he then says like, "I thought I had a friend" "Just one, just one!" "Obviously you don't, it's just one drink" suddenly you're fucked, every single time. 100% Or he buys the most expensive booze in the place, you have to kill him, you have to drink it.
That cost me a thousand euro a shot.
Alright. Every time.
- You can't do that. - Marcel, it's a death contraption. I don't think you understand. - Bro, that looks super safe to me.
Yeah.
Bye.
Super safe. We're in Romania. Everything's safe here.
We're 100% going to die on this cable car.
Why Marcel why? It's so shaky. We tried to bail Marcel wouldn't let us. Marcel insisted this was a good idea. Super safe. Look. A safety ladder up there. Anything. How is that gonna help us? In any way if this was. As it's falling you put the ladder on the floor. Climb down before the cart hits the floor and you're good.
That is the stairway to heaven.
And they ain't letting us in.
So, speak for yourself. Oh, the baby's wearing the Bible. He's all right.
At least the whole time I'll be screaming, Marcel, you come. As we crash down here and then roll the whole way down there to our eventual death.
One survivor, Marcel.
Street King, told you, built different. It's exact crap you'll see. On his stream.
You know they just couldn't handle it like me. Some bullshit.
Made it.
Look what we nearly missed.
Marcel, this is all your fault.
You guys are welcome. Thanks, Marcel.
*whistling*
You're not allowed to carry on. I hear they sell them for fucking no reason.
You don't have to take it? In England, huh? Here, in English.
I could buy it along with mine.
bear thermometer.
What I've always wanted is a bear thing.
Thank you.
Would you like a bear tomorrow? Of course. Would you like one? Yeah.
- 'Cause I actually have to wait for her to turn up.
- No. - Whoa, what about a bear holding a fish?
Thank you.
- Four, four, four.
I think that would look great in my room.
Marcel.
You know quality when you see it.
This is top quality. That's a bear holing fish.
- Okay.
That's not, they probably bought that for like 30 lay and they're like... Whoa, what do you mean?
- 150. - Tic-tac-toe game, that's sick.
I mean, I'll beat you.
If they have Marcel here on the names of Romanian names, I won't buy the bear with the fish. Fair? That's fair. So where's M?
Moana
Machira Morella
Monica?
*laughs*
No, we're not buying a bear with the fish. Now we have to, Marcel, your name's on the board.
Walking in a forest in the middle of Transylvania and you can hear
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
In the movie, this is what I would say. Let's turn around and go home. Who dies first in horror movies? Black people. We're good. He wanted to come up here. He wanted to come. We came to the middle of the forest.
And there's nothing but a man somewhere playing a saxophone somewhere in the woods.
- Thank you.
We're on a mountain too, which makes it even more creepy. Why did he come to the woods to play saxophone?
We gotta find him. - No.
We have to. Bro, this is what the white guys say in the movie that leads to the black guy dying. Don't worry about it. If there's any problems, we'll just call the police.
Okay.
It was your idea to come up the mountain, Marcel. Now we're going to find the saxophone man.
Thank you.
fuck
This is exactly how it fucking happens in the film.
What happened?
Best day of our lives.
Everything bad happens in the forest.
Marcel, it's a forest. Nothing bad happens in the forest. There's pine cones and trees.
and bodies buried somewhere. No!
That's not how it works in the forest, Marcel. I don't think anyone's ever died in the forest.
Thank you.
ever.
Let's go home.
Why is he stopped when you got closer?
This is my point.
Is he sticking up on us?
He's friendly. He does seem friendly. See?
*music*
*music*
Praise the Lord. Hallelujah. The Lord is good. In this year, God bless you, every country, with divine protection. Everybody listen to this message. Receive the Lord Jesus Christ in your life.
Give your life by God. Receive the power of the Word. Change your life. Give joy, happiness, divine blessing. Because this year, God opened the door for you.
Hallelujah. God bless you in Jesus name. Thank you. God bless you. Thank you, sir. Thank you. God bless you. Thank you, sir. God bless you. God bless you in Jesus name. Thank you. Have good years. You too. In Jesus name. Bye.
Saxophone man is the man. No, so what we actually have to do now is we have to find a way to load up our stats, because clearly we were on our way to the hotel and then we sidetracked and came here. So we did a side quest. Then we heard a noise and found a mage in the forest and he gave us some words, which now means our holy damage is higher.
- Ah.
Think about it. We're living in a simulation. This is clearly a video game. We've done a side quest now. We heard the sax. We walked over. We clicked "yes talk" and we kept pressing "A". We kept pressing "A". He was talking and then "Bloom".
Because I don't think I got an item. Did you get an item? I didn't get an item. We didn't get an item, so we must have got
Holy damage or some shit? Maybe.
All I know is we're not dying on the lift back down now.
We have divine protection. Or we needed to hear that message to die on an impact town. There's also that. So don't rule it out yet.
Thank you.
and a bear thermometer.
Thank you.
Why?
It's a bear with a fish, bro.
Doesn't get better than that. I don't need a bag. It's fine, thanks. I'm gonna carry it proudly.
No bag.
- Okay? - Yeah, okay.
Thank you.
Don't worry about the change.
Merry Christmas.
- Thank you. - It's okay.
There you go.
I won't lay down. Marcel has to carry it all the way back to the car. You want it?
Thanks.
Have fun.
I'm not scared anymore
Because of Sax Man.
Of course. One apiece.
We went and did the side mission. It was dangerous. We walked through the Enchanted Forest, found the mage, the Saxonon mage. He gave us a speech, which gave us holy damage, and then on top of that we got the Enchanted Oracle. The Enchanted Oracle? That's right. No, that's the Enchanted Thermomore. Marcel has the Enchanted Oracle.
The bear symbolizes strength, and the fish symbolizes... swimming.
I said, "Why do I have it?" So now our character can swim, plus extra bonus strength.
Plus holy damage from the saxophone page. Can't die now, the game's just started. I've never felt more calm in a cable car.
Thank you.
I'm
You bet your hope
pray like your life depends on it.
Because if he heard what you said about him,
If he heard what you said about him in the car,
I'm not stepping up.
It's one-on-one you and you.
I'm here to help you. I ain't dying along with you.
Looks like he's not here right now.
-Ted, Ted's scared.
Whenever I'm at a gas station, I'll buy random things and start buying them.
because I've had so much money that I feel like I need more stuff because I don't need money. Why do you have that in your hand?
Pisco Tapani, you call that random?
That's why you don't even know what that means.
I know that I don't have a CD player.
and I will still buy this CD.
Thank you.
- Yeah.
What about Kulsaith Gergo?
You're right, both.
Thank you.
What's this? You don't even have a CD player. What is this?
Thank you.
I need it.
- Thank you.
The thing is, money has absolutely no value at all. Everything's free.
It's free.
Free.
No, I don't want it. What are you?
You don't want any of the things you just picked up.
What is it? I've been looking for one of these.
V27A battery.
I've been looking for it.
for, uh,
-
- Thank you.
Something enchanted, Omulet, Oracle. What did your mate give us? Marcel, your mate?
We got that. And now we have...
the sounds of
Angels from the Hidden Cave.
The sounds...
of
Banshees.
which were
Forbidden from leaving an ancient cave in which they've sit for the last 5,000 years gathering ancient powers waiting for me to come along and listen to their sounds so I gather their ancient powers.
And in their language, you say all that by saying,
Piscota Pani.
You understand? What's happened? Unfortunately, I don't have a CD player in my RS7 ABT.
For some reason, they think CDs are out of date. Weird.
But obviously they're not because they're selling them in gas stations in Romania, which means it must be the height of technology.
- Good point. - So now we need to get a CD player so we can listen to Piscondapani,
and learn the secrets of the Banshees, which were stuck in the cave for thousands of years.
after the saxophone Oracle gave you the enchanted amulet.
New side mission: screw our trip, we have to go find a CD player.
That's the new mission.
F*** the trip! Nice. So what are these things? Oh, they're road trip essentials. These are just tools. Defense mechanism.
It's an axe.
And I saw.
*thud*
Do you admit that with an axe and a saw, you feel more ready for the day? Yes. Whatever might come your way, you have more
Options.
than perhaps you had before.
*music* Made it.
The only reason we got here safely on our treacherous journey is Enchanted Oracle.
We did a side quest where we went looking for the saxophone playing Mage of the Forest.
us for 2024 and increased our holy damage after we transcended a mountain by a cable car.
Let's see.
And then we got the Enchanted Oracle, which Marcel has.
You don't know about the enchanted morgue. It's a magical item.
This is all horseshit. No. You're just sad you missed out. No one's going to believe us. It was almost too crazy to do this on video. I'm a bit sad, but I still don't believe it.
So that's where I'm at on a Bailey.
You hate the cold. It's cold outside. Yeah, the fire's warm. It's very cold. It's very cold. So I need to make a very big fire. There is no size of fire at which I will look and say, that fire's too big. Someone might get burned. Tristan might get burned. They're gonna give a solitary fuck. I am the fire. I will build the fire so large that our problem is only that we are too long. Too hot. Maybe dead.
Your friend just broke up with you over the phone. Then again, she was probably cheating on you with another guy anyway. But can you really blame her? Did you expect her to stand by your side whilst you were busy doing nothing? No ambition. Lazy, broke and out of shape. Look at yourself. It's time to flip the script. It's a good thing you just joined the real world. The best financial educational platform on planet earth. Now what business model would you follow?
What?
E-commerce.
E -commerce.
Outwards of $66,000. $345,000. From the e-commerce campus, I hit my first $1,000 day. Copywriting. About two to three grand every week. $4,000. I'm a copywriter, and I've made a cost of $10,000. Content Creation plus AI. $10,000. Two, three K's. Three thousand six to seven thousand. I've made $15,000 in the Content Creation plus AI campus.
The choice is yours.
.