0:05.59♪

0:35.77*Drumming*

1:05.77I don't know, reduce the salary.

1:35.77Yeah baby! Shotgun!

1:45.49♪ Do it ♪

1:46.08But internet shopping,

1:47.34for ages.

1:49.14and I bought everything.

1:51.24I bought everything.

1:52.23I bought

1:53.61I bought things for girls. There's no girl who deserves it, but they're just beautiful items. Shoes and diamond APs and handbags. I bought myself loads of stuff.

2:04.50There's nothing to buy. I've spent a million dollars on my own board.

2:07.11Yesterday I bought a 1972 gold Cartier vintage cigarette lighter.

2:12.36We're just buying stuff because we're stuck on house arrest. And you know the worst thing?

2:16.26We can't spend more money than we make

2:18.93from our house.

2:20.22Thank you.

2:21.06Thank you.

2:21.75Hmm.

2:22.80Got conundrum.

2:24.36What was our biggest impulse purchase ever?

2:27.87impulse

2:29.31In terms of like, see it, buy it. Yeah. Roll for us.

2:33.60Was it the Rolls Royce? That was our biggest. We walked past the window

2:37.95And we were signing papers 10 minutes later.

2:40.65That was $500,000.

2:42.24That was our biggest impulse.

2:45.24Everything else we at least

2:46.47thought about it, thought I want this, should we buy it?

2:51.28Rolls-Royce, we were walking down the street.

2:53.88on our way to get coffee the world's best coffee is it really the best i'm super excited

3:08.28It's wonderful. It just might be the world's best coffee. Car smar. Car smar. Car smar. Audi's Audi. Although they are super expensive. We have every other car. What else are we gonna fucking buy? We have every other... Car smar. No.

3:27.98What? Car smar. No. You can't

3:35.34my friend. Cheers, thank you very much. And I hope one day we have another drink at Booker S. We're waiting for you. We're waiting for you.

3:44.31We sent an impulse text message.

3:47.76A, B, or C?

3:49.92Hey.

3:50.67A for Aston, fine. Luca Aston Martin.

3:54.51What was B and C?

3:57.00Good question.

3:58.62*laughs*

4:00.93*Sigh*

4:03.09See, I think you'll be buying that last tomorrow, maybe the new one.

4:07.29*clap*

4:08.16message to him. We'll see.

4:10.50I don't think we'll end up buying another car. We really don't.

4:12.78the car

4:13.44Just pour it.

4:15.06Hello, how are you? I'm fine, and you? Wonderful, as always.

4:21.09- Are you gonna be good? - Yeah.

4:23.13Just fine.

4:24.21Perfect.

4:26.26So yeah, thank you very much for your time.

4:28.86Thank you very much for your inquiry about the three cars. I think at the moment...

4:33.84We are at 3, Malala, DB12 and DBS Superliga. Ready? Sure.

4:39.66I share my display with you? Already.

4:44.25*clap*

4:45.84We are starting with the movie 12. It's beautiful.

4:50.10Yeah, so I've watched a little bit about this online.

4:55.93Obviously it's not as fast as the DBS though is it?

4:59.82It's quite similar, yeah, but also vanquishes in it. We 12 Vantage. So I think we have a car which is made out of

5:08.28The best ones for Master Model right now. It's V8, right?

5:12.30It's a V8, yeah. All right, then we are finished. I'll show you video again.

5:19.29From the beautiful Deeming 12th.

5:21.96Thank you.

5:22.86Thank you.

5:30.57Thank you.

5:32.04I had to find some time to drive all these cars.

5:34.60Yeah. Just buy them and they just sit stationary.

5:55.89All these guys are going to have to move it for me. Because what happens if you step out? They put me back in jail.

5:57.72- You're going to hit your back with your jeans? - Yeah, I'm going to hit my back.

6:02.05The steering is hard. Yeah. Oh, okay.

6:11.80Nice.

6:14.42The TV is back.

6:23.22People always ask me about health foods and supplements. "Tristan, what supplements do you take? You're built like a tank." I know. But there's one affordable tip I have for everybody at home.

6:33.12for staying in great shape.

6:34.44That's plenty.

6:35.85of vitamin C.

6:37.32By vitamin C, of course I'm talking about caviar.

6:39.84Now caviar,

6:41.46fits about anybody's budget. A tin like this should cost you no more than $1,000.

6:46.27Five or six spoonfuls of this per day.

6:48.78It's my secret.

6:49.74for unlimited power.

6:53.73- I'm sorry.

6:56.02Tristan was right.

6:58.25Garlic Bake Rolls and Caviar

7:02.69So when you're from the street, you've got the garlic bake rolls.

7:07.58Then you get rich and buy loads of caviar all the time because it costs lots of money.

7:12.13You eat it while you have a massage.

7:13.62in your mansion while in house arrest for crimes you didn't commit because you've conquered the world.

7:17.25They're all gone.

7:19.68Oh, yeah.

7:21.88So it's a good combo.

7:24.18I mean...

7:26.16Skald's plan.

7:29.24Took me from the Bake Roll life to the Caviar Life. Gave me a mansion that made me super famous and influential. That made the Matrix attack me so I can win. Peace.

7:42.60Okay.

7:44.55Bye.

7:47.52Thank you.

7:49.43Package here.

7:50.88I'm a fan. I get sent presents quite often to be honest.

7:56.79Probably once a day I get a person that's nice.

7:59.10You know?

8:00.30It's good to know that my sacrifices, sacrificing my life to combat the Matrix,

8:05.64is appreciated.

8:07.20So, uh...

8:10.95Let's see what's in today's package, shall we?

8:13.47Bye.

8:14.43Question first.

8:18.27Ah, need a knife.

8:20.79Where can I find a knife?

8:22.62Do you have a knife on you?

8:24.00You haven't knocked at arm's length throughout the whole house.

8:28.83I do, yeah.

8:30.18You're right. It's exactly what I have.

8:34.71This is a big, this is a big one.

8:37.86- Should have another one somewhere.

8:39.57Thank you.

8:40.23A little bit more manageable.

8:42.54*slap*

8:43.29Thank you.

8:44.91-

8:46.92*Gunshot*

8:48.30choices.

8:51.48Thank you.

8:52.20What kind of man does not have weapons within arm's length that every charity possibly sits on?

8:56.74Think about it. Every chair you sit on in your house, you should have a weapon with an arm swing.

9:01.11Everyone should know this is unscripted. I've never seen those knives before in my life. But it's true! It's true! Think of your chair you're on most often in your house.

9:08.28How long did it take you to get lucky?

9:10.71What, go downstairs?

9:12.99Thank you.

9:13.83What's wrong with you people? People think I'm crazy. I think everyone else is crazy. Why wouldn't I have knives everywhere?

9:19.41*slap*

9:20.37*knock on door*

9:21.90Alright, what do we have here? Andrew, read me when you have some time. Should we read this first?

9:28.53Thank you.

9:29.34Let's read this.

9:32.19Let's see.

9:33.66*knocking*

9:35.67*door slams*

9:41.43Hi Andrew, Tristan, thank you for working

9:43.89Thank you.

9:46.71my clothes in 20 year videos.

9:49.26Didn't know I did that.

9:51.84- Two posts, a picture on Twitter, this is clothes, life changing, life changing, but I don't read apps, it's my personal.

9:58.92Much love and respect.

10:02.44Alright, so some clothes. Supposedly they've been worked into a video, so maybe we can fit in something before this guy.

10:09.08He's prepared them for the Romanian Postal Service, which is a good thing, because you know what? The number of times, maybe about five or six times I've ordered designer clothes.

10:17.94and they steal the clothes out of the box and the box comes in. Really? Yeah.

10:22.83Thank you.

10:23.37Fuckers.

10:24.72*splat*

10:25.89Thank you.

10:28.02Oh yeah, I know.

10:32.01Here we go.

10:34.14Shall have a match, I'm all in. I look beautiful.

10:37.20Sure.

10:38.22Let's get a supermodel for the guy.

10:42.95- I'm sorry.

10:46.11Thank you.

10:47.28Thank you.

10:57.41♪ music playing ♪