Transcript
Intro
*thud*
Androv Koldz was here for a very important reason.
There's been questions about you online. People are wondering, you know, what's actually behind
The top G persona.
Who is Andrew Tate underneath it all?
And as your brother who's lived with you for 34 years,
I've decided to do some investigations on my own and I'm beginning to have suspicions.
You're very influential nowadays, true or false?
millions and millions of impressions every single day all over the internet everyone's watching everyone knows who you are
So I've been looking at,
your climb.
and influence over the world.
And I've come to a conclusion.
You're caught firstly. You got that caught from the universe for talking shit.
No, no, no, no. It's because I didn't dilute my shisha with a cigarette. Sorry.
I need to.
strength in my lungs. Okay.
So I'm having suspicions about you and I, and...
You know, Andrew, if I'm right,
You should have really come out to me sooner and been honest about it.
who you really are. Because I'm beginning to think
that you're one of the lizard men.
*music*
The lizard men who secretly control the world and influence everybody.
I have promised our fans on Twitter
that I am going to investigate, truly, whether you are or are not
A lizard man.
I'm not gonna lie, I've seen clues.
I'm getting suspicious.
- Thank you.
I was locked in jail.
for three months, half of which I was locked with you in a room about the size of a bathroom. And I've been locked in a house with you for another three months.
and you're gonna annoy me.
by asking... I'm beginning to think, what if the tattoo isn't
the scales on your arm, but all of the human-colored flesh
That isn't the tattoo.
That is possible.
that you've humified
Your skin, via tattoo,
But you left Lizardman clues on your right arm. Okay, so this is... Do you have scales on your right arm or not?
Let me just first of all start there, yes or no?
Is your right arm permanently green with scales in some parts, yes or no?
Because that's a red flag, Andrew.
I heard the conspiracy that you might be one of the Lizardmen. My own brother.
And here I am thinking you've pulled the wool over my eyes.
You scaly, slimy piece of shit.
I want to you mate
And I'm going to expose you
to the fucking world.
Okay, so the theory that evil lizard people rule Earth, and you're saying because I'm so influential, I have to run the lizard people.
That's what you believe.
Yes, that is currently, that is my working theory right now. Is the world round.
I think the world is flat and Antarctica is an ice wall with lands beyond it.
where you and your lizard friends
secretly control the world from. If the world is flat, how come it's the globe when we take pictures in space?
Oh, Space is Spike. You don't know?
You don't know space is fake.
Thank you.
If I catch you being a fucking lizard, I swear to God, I'm going to buy a giant cat to come and hunt your lizard ass down.
Are there any insects in this room? That's the camera guy. Bailey, do you see any insects in this room?
No, no flies, no mosquitoes. Suspicious, right? It's spring in Europe. Why are there no insects here?
Maybe someone has been eating them.
Someone with scales on their right arm.
Can you feel his right arm, please?
Why are there scales there?
I promise, along with every other
federal authority which is currently investigating me to fully comply
With your investigation, answer any and all questions and prove minuses.
I think you're a fucking loser, mate. We're going to see.
I'm gonna prove it.
*Tonk*
Thank you.
Thank you.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
Good morning brother, how are you feeling?
Ah, you have a good day?
What? Are you okay?
Right.
How are you feeling, good?
Nothing's
upset you.
I'm not upset about anything.
Well.
You seem upset.
Thank you.
What is it? Is it the shoes?
- Thank you.
How upset are you on a scale of 1 to 10?
by my footwear.
Are you offended in any way?
No.
I think you might be. You look mad at me. I just woke up. And I think it might be the shooters.
Is it the choice of outfit? Is it the training shorts with these particular shoes? No, it's the fact you pull on the emergency meeting alarm.
three minutes ago.
or is it the material?
Lizard skin.
*sniff*
On these days, someone's gonna turn you into a fucking pair of shoes, you stinky lizard cunt.
I know the shoes are annoying you.
Thank you.
I'm getting to him.
He'll crack.
Don't worry. Who told you to do that? I got a robot. You got a robot? Yeah. Don't want me to hit you. Well, who told you to do that? I'm Tristan. Tristan? Yeah. Go hit him. Go hit Tristan. What do you mean go? Go get Tristan.
Why not? But you'll hit daddy, but you won't be trusted.
Why? Because I love it and I didn't want to. Oh, so you don't want to interest it.
- Right.
He's your favorite, man. Uncle Tristan can't be hit, right?
Put your mask on.
No.
I want to keep it up. You want to keep it up? Did you know that your dad is a superhero too? Do you know I'm a superhero?
it?
lizard man. Yeah, lizard man. I've got to run, I've got to run.
*Dubstep Music*
♪ ♪
Are you half lizard? No, it isn't. No? So daddy's not a lizard, no? I think daddy is a lizard. Isn't he? Yeah. Yeah? Confirmation.
The lizard offspring. 22nd of November, 1963.
1963, 22nd of November. Quick, where have you been? Where were you? It didn't exist.
So you can't explain your whereabouts? No I can't because I didn't exist. I didn't have whereabouts.
I'm just saying, that's real convenient that you can't tell me exactly where you were. What was the date again? Not in the grassy knoll were you? JFK. Oh, so you do know. I know what? Why did you just say JFK about it? Because I know grassy knoll. Now yeah, you're a world's traveled man. You've been around the world I know. China.
Have you ever been to Antarctica? Have you? I'm just saying, you teleported on the internet. You've been around the world, you've been everywhere. How was Antarctica?
Did you enjoy it there? Inhabiting the interior of the earth for the last 6 ,000 years.
Do you have any knowledge as to how the pyramids were built? I have been in this room all day. First hand knowledge. Yes or no? I've been in this room all day. I have managed to smoke 3,000 euros of the finest cigars on earth. Okay. None of them. Because all you do is accuse me of conspiracy theories on repeat. Different ones. I am not a lizard person. I know I'm one of those influential men on earth. I understand it now. It's run by lizard people.
I'm the most influential man on the internet, but I promise I am not a lizard man. Okay? And you're not trying to turn the frogs down. What interest do you have on the sexual orientation of frogs? That's a strange thing. Tell me you love me. That's a strange thing. Tell me you love me. A cold wall. Cold. Reptilian. Refusing to answer my question. Why do we have a Nintendo? Tristan, I haven't played video games in maybe ten years.
on a quarter of a million dollars. Look how big this TV is.
- Don't do this.
- Wait.
Bye.
Okay.
I don't even know who these people are.
Which one am I? Which thing? I'm bottom left.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Bowser
There, where do you find there? I'm about to see the news.
I'll be Larry.
One of Bowser's minions.
- Yeah, how do I choose to marry? - Who is in fact?
A reptile.
*sad music*
*music*
*
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
I love the concentration.
I'm enraged. It's not concentration, it's pure anger.
Why? Because the shit I'm good at, I just hurt my enemies and now they're all like... overtaking me and shit. What the fuck is this bullshit? Let me punch him in the face. We're sparring tomorrow, baby, and you're gonna pay the ultimate price. You make sure of it. The ultimate price.
*Square*
Bye.
Bye.
So gaming got more shit.
in the 20 years since I've played games. Bailey, what exactly is your excuse for this?
What exactly is your excuse? Register a Nintendo account.
Register a PayPal account, LinkedIn together.
buy vouchers, enter the voucher code. I fucked around for half an hour to get a game and I'm waiting for 45 minutes for it to fucking download.
When you were out, why didn't you just buy all the fucking cartridges of all the games you wanted to play?
Like we used to, back in the old school.
Twenty years later since I played a fucking video game and they've become worse.
The fuck am I waiting for?
I just was trying to do something nice for you. Explain this to me. Nice. Nice.
12 minutes of my life I'm about to waste.
You can just leave the camera rolling and just show me sitting here completely unproductive.
For the next 12 minutes. Unforgivable. This is the worst thing that's ever been done to me, Bailey.
This year, of all the trials and tribulations I've been through, this 12 minutes are by far the worst thing and you are responsible.
You know who complains about download speeds?
Lizard people.
Thank you.
I think he got you there T. You might be a lizard.
I'm not a lizard twist in the story don't try and turn this around on me Tristan's actually one of the lizard people you are
- Don't try to take your lizard-y ways
and flip this around on me just because I'm onto you. I'm getting close to the truth.
I'm close to the breakthrough.
I think you're a lizard.
I think you're a fucking lizard. I think you're a fucking lizard. I'm sure you're a lizard. I am certain.
That you are a lizard. I swear on my life.
That you're a lizard.
Get boxed
Nice cheap win.
fuck you
*laughs*
at least baby loss. Fuck baby loss.
Fuck! One each. Now I'm going to play one more.
Three, two, one, go!
Ah!
*BOOM*
Super Sonic Style!
- - Yeah!
Best that frees me. Are we done?
That's not very what you're talking about.
One more. Last, last.
*Supersonic style*
That was cheating. That's officially cheating.
Because I had 10 Pokemon on the start. What do you mean? That was fair.
Want one more?
Let's go.