Transcript
You drive past my scheme before you reach Yardy scheme. My scheme name nitty gritty. Axe Yardy. Yardy can tell you. My scheme different scheme. My scheme guns them up. We have all kind of thing. We have Bertha, we have Cheap Glock, we have Rogue, we have Logo, we have Nine X, we have 45, we have all type of thing. We have AK.
He turned into the void, void, void, he turned into the void, he turned into the void, he turned into the void, he turned into the void.
- Andrew, we was kidding.
And I remember you fucking
I'm gonna smoke all of you. So today, it's revenge time on Andrew today. Without disrespect to anybody, I'm the best driver, I'm gonna win.
What can you do with the team?
What if I enter my name as Rory and drive very slow and come in last?
then Roy loses.
I'm feeling it.
I'm going to try this out and see what happens.
Not sure not.
It doesn't believe I'm born in 1900.
Are you not allowed to be immortal?
Do you know what I mean?
- You saw that?
- Okay.
What do you identify as? Other.
Top G is...
Concept, which is non-binary. Spectrum of coolness.
- Yes.
*music*
So for full speed, you have to be on your office.
You can't race with everyone.
We've never done that before.
-
mine are you?
Hey.
Just a little bit.
You admit to light your smile.
Yeah, can I use a light?
It looks very like my one.
It does.
I've got two of them.
Thank you.
- Thank you.
He doesn't have it.
No, no.
I've made that up.
- Thank you, it does.
I saw it.
You're a liar and a charlatan.
entire time of take-home potential you've been nothing but trying to pretend something you're gone. Yeah, you're a piece of shit. I
You're a loser. You cried in jail and you're short.
You cried in jail and you're short.
I'm happier in jail than I am here.
Didn't have these cunts around me.
It was great.
Hmm.
Let's relax and break.
*sad music*
Thank you.
Do you call it holiday?
- Big hot Hilton, yeah. - Any predictions for today?
Any predictions? I'm an excellent driver and I'm gonna be slightly slower than other people because I'm heavier and go-karts matter when you're heavy.
My prediction is, Andrew is
Fucked.
Because we have a plan as a team to take him out. Team! Team! I'm going to win.
TEAM!
I know you like to drive around your fancy McLarens and Porsches and Bugattis, but I am the Mario Kart champion.
And go-karts are different from your fancy cars.
That is true. Yeah, you have a new threat.
We played real-life Super Smash Brothers.
and I beat the shit out of you.
You did. And I'll beat the shit out of your mouth.
That's right.
I live in the real world.
We will see, sir.
We will see.
Henry's actually never driven a supercar in his life,
CGI, the deep fakes, AI. He's a charlatan.
and a liar and a fraud.
- What the laser tag is today? - Well, I'll be coming behind you, so go ahead.
*music*
*
- Yes, yes.
- I'm gonna hate me.
- I'm gonna spin him out. I'm gonna spin him out.
Oh, Andrew thinks he's going to be nice and professional and...
He's just gonna have this terrorist on the track. It's gonna be good.
- Pure chaos. - Pure chaos, bro. - Good. - I'm just gonna rear end him, I'm gonna take him out.
It's going to be good.
Good. Trust me.
*BOOM *
I'm a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a guy who's a
the hands tied, violate my dogs, them a landslide, we left a bomb in your yard or your mom ride, my killer them duck like all kind people we kill a winner.
Excuses, excuses.
Australia.
made video so i'm laughing. Where do we get the laptop?
That's why I hate go-karts.
because I'm always a couple seconds behind.
but I'm fucking 15 kilos heavy.
Go-karts matter when you're heavy.
If I was 93 kilos,
There'd be four or five seconds off that.
Who's the winner?
I won the qualifying, Rory won this one. Again, another race.
- Rory, you said you would win. - No, I promised you.
I'm not one to let people down. I wanted qualifying, then I wanted to go last to overtake everyone.
So they kept holding me up, overtaking them all.
It's not me and Roy have to be for real.
So Rory and Andrew race off
Yes.
Lean into the barrier like this guy got hit and it was like boom, helmet went... I saw that, Nigel. I saw that. Whoa! That was you.
-
Oh my god.
- You took me out.
out and then I was like I was in a little spinning and someone else went past me
That was me, it was done.
- Alex. - I'm in a bit of a thing.
But she's younger than I am. My ribs are fucked.
What happened to your ribs?
So,
I banish in
Nigel.
Pfff.
I did.
But? But?
but
I took five.
5th place. 5th place.
- Amen.
You got it.
I don't know why.
Day record.
for that.
That's what we've got to beat. 101.742.
I think I can beat it, baby. So Roy is currently the champion.
But in fairness, Andrew started at the back, so I think me and Andrew need to start together and see what happens.
- 101, 742.
is a good time to be a favorite. - Is that your fastest lap? - Yeah.
Yeah, it's awesome, I'm on one second. - All right, best of luck, sir. - Are we going now? - Yeah.
you
Outro Music
It's the loser's table.
at all.
- Was it one of the fastest?
What are you doing? And I'm slightly slower than everyone.
because I'm fucking 15 kilos heavier. It's cheating.
these things don't take
Timing doesn't need to take into account
speed difference made in go-karts.
from being much heavier.
If I was the same weight as Rory,
I would have beaten their times. Absolutely.
I believe you. Every time I go-kart, it's a safe.
Poetry!
and one second slower. It's just like,
What the fuck? You're the heaviest.
Bullshit.
You know what that sounds like?
- A skill issue.
*music*
*
- Go!
Two champions.
- All right, hold on.
- No, no, no.
- Thank you.
Wow, you...
Sorry for that.
Final place.
Are you the champ?
- You're a champion.
The new champ!
.
One more.
- Let's go right now.
- Smart.
- Yeah, come. - My friend.
Fucking awesome.
Well I was winning until you've worked me out man, I've worked you clean out.
Where were you?
Two guys hit me.
in the beginning.
What the fuck?
So he's the Mario Kart champion.
-
- All right, all right.
Good to see you guys.
- Charging the phone with the side of the phone.
*music*