Transcript
♪ ♪
-
Luke is sharp, but he's not going to see this coming.
It's still gay.
You okay?
I went in because I thought you were flipping
I was 100% certain he was going to flip it.
- Shit. - You are gay, Joey.
Intellectual murder people edition, Kakaan fire full of gun like Remington, fully charged up, eager fi kill a man, ratti gang fi mi gang, pussy run up if ya bad, Kryptonite coming out of the mouse, fighting out the middle of the night to make the place get nicer, you never know se a little juvenile coulda run inna your yard and take a cheap answer,
Outro Music
- Took me forever to catch up to you guys. So where are we going?
- I met Chris, he's super nice. - It is super nice. It's extremely, extremely nice.
- We need to up the blue.
No, that doesn't mean we need up the booze. Please, let's go. I think we need to crank up the booze.
no no we don't know the busometer doesn't need to go on is currently on two and we need to get it up to at least a good solid eight no we need to get back to zero where it's supposed to be
Everyone knows that the busometer is supposed to be at zero. The busometer needs to go higher.
You can.
- You want a mega y'all and you're sitting there going, "Oh, it's $35 million y'all, I just won't have a drink."
Yeah, like a normal person.
Thank you.
- Whether you're gonna have a yacht drinks or yacht straight.
Shit. Or no y'all at all.
I'll just stay here. This place looks nice.
Hello. Hello.
- No, I don't admit anything.
You probably could. So you're close to death.
- Shh.
Okay.
Anything in here to drink? It's the end. No.
-
Yeah.
I just want to say, very good to meet you, that I'm happy you're all here. It's really nice to meet some of you for the first time. And it's an absolute pleasure to be surrounded by a group of such beautiful women, such good friends. So, cheers to a wonderful evening. Cheers. Cheers. Thank you for having us.
Wait.
- Oh goodness. - That's what Dufault's up to. - You never just fucking rock. - Nah, nah, this time it is, business. You can't be mad. - Wake up, wake up, wake up. - On three fucking hits of the night. - One, two, three. - Fuck it to the ground! - Fuck it to the ground! - Woo! - Woo! ♪ Let's go, let's go ♪ ♪ Mm, how to shoot ♪ ♪ Yeah, I keep a style on me ♪ ♪ Style on me ♪ ♪ Pretty freeze ♪ ♪ Make them bitches pile on me ♪ ♪ I swear ♪ ♪ Rap party ♪ ♪ I got 30 thou on me ♪ ♪ Right now, go, go, go ♪ ♪ Go, go, go ♪ ♪ Let's go, let's go ♪ ♪ To my cake ♪ ♪ All these bitches wanna peace ♪
10 and rest. I threw 10 on top of my team. Freaks. Diamond choke. VVS. I can't breathe. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Let's go. Saint Laurent. My man, yeah.
♪ I said tell the baby I love it ♪ ♪ You're my inspiration ♪ ♪ You're my motivation ♪ - Why can't we just leave here with you? Why can't we just leave? ♪ My favorite show ♪
What the fuck? You all straighter?
It's on.
We're having a bashment party, Luke. We're having a bashment party. In Jamaica, it's the only place you go into a store and they're mad you're trying to give them money. You walk in, you're like, excuse me, do you have anything? And they're looking at you like, why are you mad at me, bro? I'm trying to buy golf. They're super pissed off you've gone in there.
It's the worst business model ever. Is it because they think you bring a security risk because they don't know you? No, no, they're just mad they have to like get you things. Ah, they have to work. They have to work. They're curious. Now I have to work. Why'd you do this to me? But it's their store. They own the store, bro.
And they never have anything. We probably made enough that day. We don't make anything. We're just lazy. You don't make me curious. No, no, I'm not.
I'll sip it but I'm not doing that.
I'm now an objective loser. I don't care. I do fucking care. No, no, I don't wanna do this bro. I'm an objective loser now.
Thank you.
♪ I'm alive ♪
♪ So they had me to go sleep all day ♪
I really... Terry, mate.
Nice.
Wait on you, Luke.
Tristan, I'm an objective booster now. Joel, you hit crack and then pressure. Sorry, bro, I'm sorry. I apologize. I apologize, bro. I'm sorry, man. Look, look, look.
You can't fight the power. Can't rely on you when the pressure's there. Democracy is spoken.
It actually is the most annoying sound in the fucking world. We need shots. No water. Shots for... They're already here.
to my cousin Luke and his fantastic friendship.
- Pass? - Pass.
Here we go Luke, that's a lovely one. That's not a lovely one. To my cousin Luke and all he means to me. I don't mean anything to him. To Luke and all he means to all of us. Thank you. We love you Luke. To Luke. To Luke. This is stupid.
More moves please. I'm the captain.
It has power. Jamaican music is the best music in the world. It has power. It has power.
no matter how tired I am, after 12 rounds of pads, the right song comes on and I'm like alright. I get power back. Get rhythm. I don't want to hold you up bro. I'll wait for you. I wouldn't do that to you bro. I would never leave you out. I would never hold you out. I'll wait for you mate. Don't worry.
I don't know when they'll come back. But that's what's happening. Ah, I'm home. If we push Tristan off and sail away, we won't have to drink. Right. Hey bro, how are ya? I knew they'd call me. I was just talking about you, man. Dude, I missed you too. Glad you're back.
I told him to do that. I know what I was gonna say. He was literally through. We have shots. You're right, finish this and we'll have a shot.
Andrew! Andrew don't let him beat you! It was hurting my soul. Soul? You don't have a soul. I have a soul, I have a big heart. Come and hang out on the yacht they say. You'll have fun they say. I know! Oh the giant mega yacht! Yeah luxury! Holiday! Holiday! What a fucking scam! You guys, you are scammers! This ain't a fucking holiday. This ain't a holiday. It's worse! Mega yachts go with mega scams!
This isn't a shot! This isn't a shot! Yeah it is! This is not a shot though! This is not a shot though! My ice is melting so slowly!
Wow that sounds annoying Luke! That sounds annoying Luke! That is an annoying sound! You better grow up! You ran away the first night!
- Now we can relax with a nice relaxing shot. - Alternatively, look, if we're not gonna throw Tristan off the boat,
We jump off.
And sure, Jewel, I think we can survive. We don't have to drink. I actually think we can survive. We can swim to land. Andrew, take us up. Swim to land. Swim to land. Walk down there. House is down there. Hello. Yep. Hi. Hi. We are refugees. Escaping persecution. Cheers to Jewel and his fantastic friendship and companionship over the years. I couldn't do it without you, Jewel. Cheers, mate. This one's to you. Jewel, I will admit you've always been a very good friend. You've been a wonderful friend. You too. No, but you have. But you have been a good friend.
But Jewel, Jewel, understand one thing, this is objective drinking. This one is objective drinking. These are all bullshit. This is objective drinking. Cheers. Cheers to Jewel.
you
🎵 Music 🎵
I'm just gonna change your life Just wanna change your life
I remember your dad. I remember your dad before you were born. Nice. What do you say about that? Nothing. I don't care. Put on Turbo. Don't be a little loser. Don't put on Turbo. Yeah, you're going to put on Eco. Why would I put on Eco? That's who you are. Thank you very much.
Awesome, already on turbo. Here you have a holder for the phone. Oh yeah. And then you can put like the pin.
What are we doing? Electric bike Aikido. Electric bike Aikido. You've never ridden an electric bike? I actually have. My dad had a bike store. Of course you have. Of course your dad had a fucking bike store.
We'll just take Luke out.
Thank you.
Vehicle from the rear
I'm going to go to the beach.
you
This is what we do now?
Croatia is the best country, isn't it? Croatia is beautiful. And let me tell you something. Sometimes in life...
Simple things that make it happen. All you need...
$75 million dollar y'all. 30 hot women, hundreds of millions of dollars in the bank.
Be strong and tall and smart and gorgeous. Let's Google man the planet. And a bike.
My life's great. - It really is simple, isn't it? - All you need is those things. Like, no one should have that. - It's true.
It is simple, isn't it?
But...
I can't help but ride these roads while thinking about my car.
Man, that would be fucking fun.
I think we do.
You know, I think we should use the cars a lot more.
Me too.
Yeah.
I really do. Bikes are okay, but...
Yeah, I wouldn't ride the bike all day.
You do win the bet Andrew. I bet you wouldn't ride the bike off the cliff. Yeah, we don't take that bet.
I didn't take the back. You didn't what?
Thank you.
Hang on a sec, Luke's French isn't he? Tour de France. Aren't you meant to be good at this shit, mate? Yeah, just walk right up there. Come on, do it. That's good footage. Let's go. Don't be a pussy.
- -
Thank you.
How committed are you to the success of this enterprise, Luke? That's right. Right there.
Thank you.
Thank you.
*sizzling*
It's all a possibility.
Huh?
Thank you.
Thank you.
Croatia is nice. Croatia is... ahhh. Almost. Fucked it up. Almost.
You're a loser.
It better be crashed.
It would have been better if I crashed, wouldn't have.
- All right.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
I'm not committing next time.
We were just just
not easy.
Literally wholesome.
- Gratia is the reason no one goes to Romania.
It is, isn't it? Why?
- Karisha, you're not gonna die.
scam.
I know.
deal with.
Croatia is completely wonderful. Also there aren't two American
And uh... Animals. British animals who've ruined it. There are now.
Too late, the rush is off the list.
- No, no, no.
So who's jumping off the roof when drunk? No, no, no, no. I've never jumped off. No one's drunk. No one's drunk. So you're saying you would like to get drunk with me? Not at all. Let me tell you a story. Maybe none of you will laugh.
When I was 16,
There was this bitch called Helen. She was a white girl. She was dating this fucking gangster. And I was talking to her in college. And then her boyfriend found out. So when I left college, him and five of his friends jumped me. So I walked out. And this guy goes, hey, Andrew. I was like, yeah, what? And he threw a punch. He threw it like a cricket. He was a cricket player. And he threw it like a cricket overhand like this. And I slipped it. And then all of his friends jumped me. And I managed to balk a few and run away, right? I got back in this college. And I was fucking furious. And after a few seconds, I found Antony. I said, Antony, go. There's five of them. That's a black guy. He's like, all right, fuck it.
right?
They left. These five guys jumped me for this bitch. I was like, "I have to fuck this bitch."
This guy now thinks he's something. So I'm talking to this girl still.
"Tell him, come again, da da da." I knew he was gonna bring like 20 guys, so I had like my black friends, and we had this race war going on. Eventually, about three months later, I had a break between 12 and four, but it was an hour walk each way.
to and from college. And I convinced her to walk back to my house.
I'm with Helen.
We're in my room.
Right? My mama ain't in.
Everything's good.
I'm kissing Helen, about to fuck Helen, and my phone starts ringing. And I'm like...
Try to ignore it for one call. Try to ignore it for another call. Try to ignore it for a third call. It gets weird. You can't just ignore the phone that won't stop ringing. So I'm with Helen in bed. I'm like, sorry, I have to answer this phone call. It's my mom.
I'm like, "What, Mom, what?" She goes, "I just was supposed to meet my dad for a drink and I just went to his apartment and he's dead. Your granddad's dead." And I was like,
"Alright, I'll call you back." I put the phone down.
and just went back to kiss Helen, and she goes...
She just said your fucking granddad's dead and you're just trying to kiss me.
And I was like, I was like, I was like, well, bitch, he's dead now. What the fuck do you want me to do? He's gone. He wants me to fuck you. He's walking you out. He knows what you need to do.
I'm leaving.
I was like, "No, Granddad, no!" "Why now?"
-
Never saw her again. That's the end of the story. What else was I supposed to do? I didn't know what else to say. I was like, Melon's naked, Grandad's dead. I'll call you back.
Never fucked her. I just want to say one thing, we can't put that on Rumble. Yes! Thank you Rumble! Thank you Rumble! We love you Rumble! Shots for everyone please. Thank you very much. Brian in my heart when I hear him say shots all around. Shots all around!
Get him out of here Brian! Get him out of here! Get him!
Straighten up! Straighten up! Straighten up!
*outro music*
Where's Luke's cousin? I'll point out. No, you can't find out because you'll disappear. You can't fool me. You know who we should send to find him? Yaxo, with his camera. I need you, I need you.
You're gonna look at the door. Hey baby, can I come in?
and then you're gonna leave as soon as you heard it.
- Yeah.
And he will be gone
*music*
Thank you.
Thank you.
Hey baby, can I come in?
You can't say no to a beautiful woman.
No!
Yeah, Lauren.
I'm coming.
No.
Go away. I don't trust you. I don't fucking trust you. Close the door. I'm talking to you. Hey, look who it is. The ghost of Christmas past.
You thought you could escape!
GET THE FUCK UP!
Sit here with your water and your sex noob like some kind of pervert. I like water! It's time to booze! Water is healthy! No, it's not. Booze is healthy.
Come on, you've been deceived. What the fuck? I was not deceived. I smelt it. I could sense it.
Fuck man. Well, and here you still are. Let me sleep bro. Nope. Zero percent. There's nothing wrong with water and sleep.
-There is everything over that -I'm pretty sure science says... water and sleep is a good thing Science? I'm pretty fucking sure... Bro, science backed the COVID vaccine, I'm just saying!
I'm just saying, I don't trust the science. That's a good point. We cannot trust the science. I'm a skeptic. So it's booze time. We've been waiting for you. You know who instructed me to come and get you? Oh, it's Gage.
*laughter* Alright, alright, I'm coming, I'm coming. You know who instructed me to bitch you? Someone's swimming, man. Fuck that shit. *laughter* There's a lot of ocean out there, bro.
Welcome back to big school. Sometimes life get cold to action man. You're a soldier you know how it is.
Andrew, every secret coaching session, stop that. Stop that. I'm a Dexter Boozer. I was playing it to the role of Dexter Boozer. You don't understand the objective. You can't handle the truth. I can. Heather.
♪ Still dig a dog ♪ ♪ You know you see how you go ♪ - Let me have a fucking. ♪ Who would ever drug ♪ ♪ If you give up your stitch card ♪ - That's what I need. - Water. - Water is good. - See a trick or a plan. - I don't know, I don't know, I want that. ♪ But you make it king kong pop ♪ ♪ King king king ♪ ♪ Food rules and they keep on strong ♪
♪ And you put a grip on me ♪ ♪ Trust the people ♪ ♪ Watch I respond ♪ - That was an accident. I'm too strong, I'm sorry. I apologize. - Okay, okay, two more. ♪ I'm ready ♪
- You're almost done. - Yes, sir. - I'm still getting up. - I'm still done.
I just want to work.
♪ ♪
You're lucky she's watching my back. Water is okay. Water is okay. Water?
♪ Time to dive into some more life ♪
Woo! Alright. You want me back over? You know what's horrible? Apryl Spritz. That's trash. Apryl Spritz, please!
If you weren't an ice cold killer, I'd attack you. I love water! I fucking love it! GAME!
Five trades for KSI. You're doing the whole training camp every fucking day.
I'm fighting him. I don't give a fuck. I saw KSI on his last thing. He did this. They're small. Bro, yours are massive. That's what I mean.
I don't have it. I don't have it. Mine are small. Mine are small. They're not big. Even this, it's years of boom, boom, boom, boom. But bro, that...
No one realized.
You should look at a guy's knuckles if you want to fight him. Look at his knuckles.
want to fuck with the dude because that means it's all it's all he does is boom boom boom impact you don't want it. Fuck him. What the smoke is on. What the smoke can't fight him on. Gas bite. What the smoke is on. What the smoke is on. People don't realize some things until you've had your face broken until you've had your fate your literal face shattered by a knuckle you do not understand the consequences that fighters go through and I mean true pro fighters amateurs okay they
They're quite soft because they just have not learned the lethality of putting bone against bone is shattering other people's bones There's a consequence to fighting that people don't understand you have seen the pros pros pros do understand it and they do respect it
Come and hang out in the yard they said. Have a holiday they said.
That's the only thing they care about.
This is objective list drinking Pointless drinking there's a time to drink. There's objectives to achieve with the drinking. I
There's objective drink...
This is not objective driven.
Thank you.
This is not objective.
I don't need that one.
Fallen Fields Fallen Fields like Fallen Fields
Thank you.
♪
*outro*
I was like,
Well, I could open a strip club.
But that takes money. I need overhead or money.
Now P-tar. So P-tar doesn't like me now. Crash Mare and P-tar. Come on, get out.
I said that if a woman is going out with a man, she belongs to that man. That's his woman. So if she wants to do OnlyFans, she owes him some money because she's his.
That's true.
I said it wrong. I said it wrong. I said it wrong. It's true. Fuck, it's true. It's true, though. What am I supposed to say that's wrong? It's true. I stand by it. You can't cancel the truth. You can't cancel the truth.
I am surrounded by traitors!
Me alone. All the women.
Let's get ready to rumble!