Transcript
So where's Andrew? Andrew's been held by the Romanian customs.
Because we live here and we have European Union passports, but
We walked into the infant hall, normally covering our, covering our faces.
And Andrew had that fucking thing all over you.
After 11 months do my very very best
fight and combat all this COVID bullshit I eventually had to take a COVID test
Eventually. If you watch and take over that, you've seen all the stuff I've done. I've never taken a COVID test.
I'm wearing my mask now and Dubai can't fuck around I finally gave in
I did my COVID test. They put a sticker.
on my passport.
See?
I can scan the sticker.
Open this up.
and I can put in my date of birth,
This is the first time I'm doing this to see if I have COVID. It's the first time I'm ever doing it.
Put in my date of birth.
December.
Thank you.
I'm saying this.
Second.
Okay.
- Yes.
Jesus.
my passport number
Search.
Boom.
I'm going to do two. Negative.
Nice.
I do not have COVID.
Man, we've been trying so hard.
Why can't we get this?
This mysterious virus. We've been everywhere in the world breaking every rule. Finish your beer. You're embarrassing us. We're all finished. Finish your beer. What are you complaining about, Rory? What the fuck?
Let's go. Let's go.
No, no. What's the emergency?
We left chicken shit bullshit. Don't. Oh, you take your mask off, pussy.
- You know, up to Disney hands. - Look at Europe right now. Who do you think started this? Whose fault do you think this is? - I don't know. - What do you do, girl? - China. - Every rule, never quarantine, never listen. Do everything you're not supposed to do.
And I never, ever, ever, ever have come. Or if I did have it, because I haven't been testing all the time, I haven't been testing. If I did have it, I've never noticed once.
Clown Yard.
It is amazing, isn't it? The clown world that I must have had COVID at some point, had absolutely zero symptoms.
Veroe.
Thank you.
There's something real done for this shit.
*gasp*
Scam.
Damn.
Don't ban us, E2. But it's true.
So we're not shipmonters. What's happening? Everyone's got on the bus and we're sitting down. Why? Business class bus. Do I look like a civilian to you? No one's in the shipmonters. So we have our own bus. Business class? A bus for three people. It looks that way. It does look that way, doesn't it? Did you ever hear about the first ever flight that had business class on it? It was a little pink plastic plane. It was about this big. From 1942. It was a pink plastic plane from Target. And it flew. And you were on it business class.
I'm gonna beat it up. I remember that. Remember that story? I do. Oh, the business bus. Watch out. Let's get your hands up. Yeah. Remember the first time.
Ah, look at that.
So we own a bus.
Rupees? Hello, Rupees? Are there Rupees? Rupees? Hold the bar. Yeah.
Ah. So we are the boss man. We are the boss man! So we own the boss.
We don't want the bus.
Bus training. Bus training like IKIGA.
Nobody likes us.
It's the ass bus.
We don't understand it the whole time without touching anything or lean money. Alright. So where are the bus men? Bus like IKIGA.
Yeah, it's a bus like you. It's a bus like you. It should be easy, right? It's only a bus. It's my last bus. It is only a bus.
You're on the head of the car to drive.
It's a drastic business. This one.
This is what everyone does in business class. This must be a business class tradition. It is.
Right, I want to start doing competitions for Take Confidential. If you watch Take Confidential, I'm going to start giving money away. Because I am a rich, generous philanthropist. That's how people describe me. The utmost generous philanthropic formal individual in the world. You might be the opposite of all of those words.
winner at random from the busman competition I keep up that was how things have been done before one leg that's
It does help. If you would have jumped forever. Little hops. How do I do this? They definitely look at us and wonder how do these men horn this is?
- Yes.
*laughs*
Thank you.
*laughs* Alright. Now let's get tired. Let's hop. Ah! *laughs*
I'm crazy.
Woo!
- He got us. - Andrew, what are you doing?
- Corona. - Who are you? - The mask man. - The man without a face. - They want me to wear a mask, and I can do faces like you.
- Man, you know face. - So we have the faceless man and the ninja walking through.
Nobody likes you guys.
Nobody likes an Indian in the face of this man. Who could they be?
We're my cousins.
Thank you.
So where's Andrew? Andrew's been held by the Romanian customs.
Because we live here and we have European Union passports, but
We walked into the entrance hall normally covering our faces
and Andrew had that fucking thing all over here. He's the faceless man. Everyone looked at him like he was an idiot. And then he went to the thing, he was like, "Oh, it's okay, I live here."
What are you doing here? And they're questioning him super hard because I think he's a jackass. He's the faceless man. Would you let the faceless man in your country? I hope they send him back to Dubai. I hope they send him back. No faceless men allowed. I hope they send him back. I don't care.
Ah, so they let the faceless man in the country.
Yeah, the fucking dude was like, where's the residence?
Then some other dude comes up to me and goes, "Oh, my brother, Dad, I see you fight last week!" "Yeah, okay, go."
*laughs*
I'm so clear Mr. Remainty, I've yet passed border security. Even as the face was bad.
And everyone's questions on the faceless man. Yeah. Exactly. Who's this man without a face?
The map with no face, there's Aikido.
Roll over, Joe.
I'm a bit jealous. I do wish I could be the face of Span. No, I got one of these.
I'll give you all one. You can all become faceless men. The faceless men. Now you travel facelessly.
- Thank you.
We have a faceless man, all three of us.
I don't feel like, who the fuck is that? We're faceless. They want me to wear a mask? I'll wear a mask. I'll wear no face.
If they tell me to take that off, put a mask on, I'll put a mask on underneath. I'd still cover my face. Still be faceless. Faceless man.
I can't wait for my Mac to finish up date. Don't you love when your Mac updates?
No. It's two hours, bro. It's only two hours. And when it's done, I can use my Mac exactly like before.
That's why I just pressed cancel. No, but don't admit that's worth it.
Amen.
I just can't. Download 15 gig and you update when the two hours is finally finished and the update's finally finished.
You can use your mat exactly like before. That's a good deal.
Nah, I press cancel. Luke, it's a good idea. Update your Mac. I compel you to update your Mac right now.
- No, that'd be absolutely-- - We should all update on computers, so we can all use them exactly like we already did.
I'm already using it. Mike, listen, but I have Mac OS Big Sur...
- So it's actually gold. - It's true, I don't have Big Sur. I mean, I don't think I do. I don't know, I don't know the difference. - And I'm sure there's some added feature somewhere deep in the calendar application that allows me to
work out exactly how big of a homosexual I am on certain dates.
Probably just spies on you more. More spying. All they're going to say, a bunch of fucking chicks. Oh, we've spied on tape, this fucking endless pussy.
I tell everyone that anyway. That's all I do. I drive cars. Everyone wondering what tank does in his life. I'm a multimillionaire. This is what I do.
I drive fast cars, I fuck women.
And I fight.
That's it. Everything else is shit. So there, spy campaign over. I will be very upset that they've wasted two hours of my life just to spy on you. It's all here. I better get some features. The what's changed. New background. Computers, for start, the background's different.
You're telling me there was another way I could have changed my computer background that didn't take three hours?
I actually might be able to do this. It is impossible. A work of time. Only another 26 minutes of unproductive
Nothing.
You might get a new background, man. Look at this.
I hope so.
Let's see what happens next.
Let me just see what Luke has for his background.
Oh, I've seen this one.
Yeah. I've got to see it for months.
Yeah.
That's right.
It's a special one.
Turn Siri off, but I don't want to be spied on. Yeah. They're going to spy on me anyway, but I'll at least turn it off. I'm not going to agree to any spy.
Nice, black screen. Nice, perfect.
That would be funny if it all broke down.
Nice. Incompatible. Boom! This is the new apartment system. I love this new update. Nice!
So that's it.
I guess maybe it's all voice controlled?
- It's mind-controlling. You close your eyes and stare at the place. - Do my work for me.
But on that, loading.
Nice. Boom. Nice. So everything's the exact same but you have a new color. I have a new background.
Does that at least change when it's light and dark like mine does or did they get rid of that?
Listen, that's old technology.
All I know is this.
I have a new background.
you're fine.
Alright.
Have fun with your background. I'll keep enjoying my computer as I have for the last three hours.
Apple, fuck your update. You got the foursit down my throat.
Never updating.
Never will.
So we have a power clock, we're just going to want the flashlights again. Yep, every time. Where are you going? Sorry, where are your flashlights? It does like a little bit. It does, it's actually super nice. I didn't realize. This is actually a very bright cross flashlight. Ah.
You can go on.
Emergency meeting. This is emergency. It's emergency. It is actually an emergency. All right, emergency meeting. Emergency meeting.
Thank you.
People take confidential interviews to emergency meetings. What they don't know is that we don't record most of them. So we do a lot more emergency meetings.
than they even know about. Our whole life is endless emergency meetings. Black or blue? Blue.
Blue? - No, none of the above. - Oh, you got that whiskey in the fucking emergency. - No! - You got that fucking cigar.
Give me a cigar. Emergency cigars! I'm getting emergency KFC. Emergency cigars. Why don't you fuck yourself? How about emergency Luke's fire? Emergency King Luke out. I'll get the glasses.
Let's wiggle black.
emergency meeting. Yeah so basically what happened is we haven't recorded any of it. We did an emergency meeting for one minute and the lights came on and we left and the lights cut out again and we went back and then it's the third time. It's the third emergency meeting. And Tristan keeps making me drink a whiskey per version. He goes oh another shot of whiskey.
Look, I've got a dream per power pop.
No. You think that'd be an easy thing to accept?
One drink per power cut. You think, "Oh, I could do my life like that. That'd be easy." I know. This is mine from last time, which I didn't drink because I knew that this was gonna happen. So you cheated. This is ass. I was like, "Just--" The internet started to get back on, get back to normal, right about to do something. Boom. Turns off. This is ass. What does James Bond drink?
I'm glad I didn't cancel my emergency KSC. Ah, okay. Lights back on. Guys, should we actually just stay in this room? I'm starting to not believe it. I'm going to get my laptop because I actually have things to do. And we'll sell our phones and we'll see. Can you get my laptop too?
Yeah, I'm running.
Why is the fuck the glasses here? What's happening Tristan? This isn't me, come fucking look at me.
You called the emergency meeting? No, Andrew called the emergency meeting. Alright, that's...
What are you doing? Mandatory booze. It's 9:45. Mandatory. It's 9:45. We literally just woke up. You can't start your morning with a bit of booze.