Transcript
Good shot there from Tate!
you
So I had some friends over last night.
sitting, having a few drinks, I'm about to my bedroom, and they're fucking naked taking stupid pictures. So I sit in my bed.
They take a picture of them in the background. I liked it. It's two naked girls and me. I have my pants on. It's just a picture. So I put it on Instagram.
Let me tell you motherfuckers about Instagram. All these girls are just like, oh, why would you put something like that on Instagram? Let me tell you why. I'm going to tell you why right now.
You hoes put pictures of your ass.
and your tits and your bikinis and stuff, and you get thousands and thousands of likes. I can put up a photo of a million dollars worth of cars with me, and I get about four likes. No one likes pictures of men. No one shares them. No one fucking interacts with them. You can't build your profile. I have 40,000 followers.
I know 18 year old girls with double the followers I have. Double. And what do they do? Just blow kisses and shake their ass. Literally, that's how pathetic this world is.
But the photo I put up last night, which we're going to cut to,
With me with two chicks.
has over 5,500 likes. That's more than you gain. You have 80,000 followers.
I'm telling you, I'm putting a girl in every Instagram picture from now on.
Every single time I've got a girl around me, I'm on a date, I'm fucking, I'm smoking, I'm getting my dick self-bitter, I'm going to dress up in a bikini and take a cool picture. Every one of my pictures on Instagram from now on.
He's gonna have hose. Why are you putting that across?
- For take confidential. - I don't, yeah. - Why pretend? - I don't, no, it's fine.
.
So excited, it's 1 a.m. It's 1 a.m. and we're depressed. We're depressed because we're super rich.
Can't do it. We're the best. Why are we the best?
- You're moving it.
- 'Cause we're rich. - It's like our rich. - We were drinking cans, we were talking about how cans help you go to sleep. And then we decided to drink loads of Red Bulls,
And then go to school.
so we can sleep faster.
Sleep with more energy if you've done quickly. Yeah. We're gonna start with two ripples each.
Oh, man.
Thank you.
Thank you.
That's a podcast.
It allows us to sleep with as much energy as possible. Super sleep.
-
Thank you.
Is this super sleep?
It's not even fun downing. Why are we doing this?
This isn't gonna work.
It will work.
Five regular beats, then straight to bed.
*laughter*
Bed balls. Bed balls.
But I like to tell you.
I lost out of the beer.
Let's get up, let's get a shot.
-
*thud*
Why did we do that? It was Andrew's idea. It's a terrible idea. Every time I go up to piss, I was pulsing and turning and my brain was on. I was trying to sleep and then my eyes were open and I kept trying to close it and then I burped and I had pretty bad heartburn.
Why does anyone do trick-tack stuff? It was absolutely just impossible for me. What do we make a one-week challenge?
No. Every night before bed. I'll get by one every night to see what happens for one week. Three tonight.
And four the day after. No, I'm going to say it's a bad idea now. Why? Because last night you said if you had real friends, they would have told you it's a bad idea. Listen, I'm not your real friend, mate. I'm a millionaire stuck in his house. Fuck house owner, dude.
Well, so we'll watch TV go to bed now. Red Bull Challenge for one week. Alright, I'm down.
You in? You got no choice. Shit.
All right, Red Bull Challenge. All right. Boom.
We interrupt this program for a special news bulletin.
Thank you.
Bye.
for once in your life.
Stop being a dickhead.
You watching this.
You're a dickhead. You are.
Stop it.
And here's what you're going to do. Finish watching the episode.
Go to CobraTake.com.
Message the live chat agent and say,
I'm finished being a nigga.
That's it.
If you do that, your life's going to change.
If not,
We're going to stay here again.
.
.
- So I've invented a business ritual for us to get richer than ever before. We're already very rich, but we get richer. And what we do is,
We all light a candle in unison.
down a Red Bull as fast as possible. It's okay. It works. It works. Last time we did this, we made money. Yeah.
Forex trade came in.
That ribbles, that's possible. And then you sniff smelling salts as hard as you can.
You invented this yesterday, we've been making money
It brings the money spirits to life. Exactly! It brings the money spirits up. I'm Tristan, I have everything! And because it's such a holy weekend of Easter, the spirits are around. Are you ready?
Jesus is not going to help you make money Jesus is here That's not his deal Get ready for the rich man
You can lock my candle. No, no!
You guys, ready for 3, 2, 1, go.
nerves.
.
I can feel you get away.
Right.
Thank you.
- -
*Bang*
*Bang *
Just like angels, we have wings
*Cough*
I'm stronger than I am! We're out to be rich!
This is how you do it!
Dristar doesn't know shit. The more money we make, the more we keep from Dristar. You're out of the company.
See last week we were like, what the fuck are playing with a dangle game? I woke up this morning, went and sat out by the pool, and then went back to sleep at 11 and woke up at 12.30. Doesn't even make any sense. You can't sleep with Wayne. What have you got? Meetings? We're in quarantine, Tristan.
Double whammy.
Thank you.
You're asleep.
Ah.
It's starting to be horrible. It's my 15th today, maybe.
Red Bulls can sponsor us. We've got 15 Red Bulls. Red Bulls can sponsor us. With all our diabetes ones talking about this. Yeah.
- That's the inside of the park. - Why do we do this? - We can all share it. - All right, put on some of this.
Why did we just do this?
Why do I do any other things we do? Are you tired?
Do you have wings? So you need wings.
The berm on my hand.
Still is not healed.
from that fucking tire and you burnt my bike. Tristan?
It's not my fault. Play with fire. You know what they say.
Anyway, this morning the police came and said, "Quarantine Expo Act." So we are free. We no longer have to stay in the house for two weeks because we went to Sweden. We're free. I seem to get in the cars.
Okay.
But didn't you get arrested yesterday for breaking quality?
Exactly. So I went out driving yesterday while I was on quarantine and got arrested.
But now I'm not in quarantine, so I'm going to drive it.
Yeah, but don't you have to go to court for breaking quarantine?
Romanian courts. Oh no, not a court in Romania. The internationally respected Romanian courts. What do we do? They're corruption free as we all know. Put me in jail? Put me in jail.
You put me in jail, I'm gonna walk in there with a pile of money like this.
Guards, boom, boom, boom, boom. Get some hoes. This cell's mine. Playing back before you're not. I'll be chilling.
It'll be the best quarantine ever. I'm ready. Put me in jail. I don't give a fuck. Yesterday I told them to put me in jail. Today they told me I'm not in quarantine. Going out and driving again.
They can take their court case, shove it up their papadosh. We're here to the streets.
or
Where's my wallet, by the way?
Amen.
Every time I ask where it is, Luke pulls a stupid face. What have you done with my wallet?
You weren't using it.
And ready for our level one at the card holder. Got a 150's in it.
See you in a minute.
Where is more? From all that.
Oh, what it?
You're ready now.
As you can see.
- Come on, Lord.
Thank you.
No clue. Don't know. Where are we going?
So we're in quarantine or no we're in lockdown. We're in lockdown. Yeah we're not allowed. Well today they told me my quarantine ended but I've got a penal case with the judge for breaking yesterday so am I still in quarantine? Who knows? Who knows? And we're in the 992 and we're trying to keep up with the MA.
and all.
It looks like a pretty fair race so far. I think the M8 is quicker. The M8 is a little bit faster. Here they're going again.
Yeah. M8 is faster, bro. Yep. Fucking BMW. How do they do it? I don't know how they do it, bro.
The Lambo looks faster. Looks much faster. But. Yeah, but. So we got the slowest car. Luckily it was the most crazy drive. Yeah. So we'll keep on. We won't die. No way. No way bro. Not like this. It's a good time.
Yeah
Yeah, this is super close
*Sigh*
.
Welcome to the real world. Real world pain. This is church. Only one universal understanding across humankind.
Force, violence.
My language is the world, but I don't understand the punch in the place.
- Sure.
Mrs. Her God.
This right here.
I pray to Jesus, I will punch the fuck out of you.
You are a punch and you can't call him.
Oh, but literally God, I will beat the fuck out of you. Who cares? It doesn't mean anything.
This new jump.
Woo! - Lost run, let's go. - Lost run!
Hold on.
.
Three minutes later.
3 minutes.
- So, there's a lot of,
No.
Yeah?
.
We got the physical work.
Let's see here.
One more, two more.
Thank you.
*door opens*
What's that?
Thank you.
I'm going to get out of here.
Yeah, everybody.
How wrong can this possibly go?
Yeah, don't bat it into a car.
Ready?
Oh!
Thank you.
Thank you.
*Pew*