Transcript
Good shot there from Tate!
you
Tristan
What are you doing?
I'm filling up the pool
So while I'm monitoring it I need some light.
I'll blow fire.
It was like this.
There's light all over.
I don't need a fire, we don't need a fire.
the end times.
The electrical grid is about to be shut down.
The lights are on. The whole lighthouse. And when the electrical grid gets shut down, then what?
Fire, fireworks.
prepared as always.
If not even any wood, how long is this gonna last, an hour?
long enough there's a whole fucking field we can get wood back here.
Stalked.
It is dark. Oh yeah, that's cute.
If only your brother hadn't bought the fucking world's most powerful fucking flashlights!
How about this, I provide the flashlight, you provide the fucking wood. Go.
Go! Get the fucking wood!
Or how about this one? You give me a flashlight and I'll go get it.
Ain't gone, do ya? We don't need a fire. We don't have shit. We don't need a fire. Go and get the wood. Why do we have a fire? We don't need a fire. We absolutely do. You said you need the- Oh, and we didn't need cans either. You haven't been touching my fucking rations, have you?
If I find your greasy fucking fingers
On my fucking ration cans
You AND your fucking cousin, you're dead meat!
Thank you.
Done for.
Hands off the rations. Why don't you dress so fly the virus...
fucking feeds you somehow, or whatever you're fucking
Dumb shit theory was. Get the fuck out of here! Fuck off! What were?
Thank you.
We are fucking scavengers.
You can find the most shitwood.
- I need to sit wood. - That's my N63. - How much wood could there be near my supracaws? - A lot. - This is bullshit. - This is Romania.
Look at this wood.
I'm just out.
Thank you.
Thank you.
It's true. All the lights are on. All the lights are on. All our neighbors lights are on. Nobody has a fire but us.
Thank you.
More wood.
Or wood.
.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Why is there so much wood in fucking Romania? There's a car here. I know. It's Romania.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
*thud*
Thank you.
Thank you.
Are we about to run till monster?
This is where a monster would be. We fucking... Would get a bando down there. We fucking... Corona monster. Someone left their car here. We have to admit, if Corona was anywhere, it'd be here.
- Okay.
I think Corona would be here. Out of all the places.
Thank you.
I wish I bought my lesson.
Your hands are weapons.
haha wardrobe doors that looks like wood
- Come on.
Someone's got a light over there.
Yeah. Yeah.
Am I walking? I do.
The fuck are they? I don't know.
It's not Andrew and Tristan
Or sorry, not Tristan.
There's Tristan's light. Tristan's light's in there. Someone's walking over there through the woods with a flashlight. Yeah.
I don't have the Glock.
So they come too close.
hands.
Get the fucking wardrobe and get out of here. Cool.
I'm feeling these wardrobes are intense.
Cut the wood?
Tristan.
Yeah? This is pizza.
I
- Yeah, put the fuck with the-- - Nice. - If it's the end of the world, how the fuck do you get dominoes? If it's the end of the world-- - I cooked it!
With the fucking ration cans! You did! What do you mean I didn't?
Can you prove it? It's Domino's.
I bet you the delivery driver's just out there.
What delivery driver?
- This is the most bullshit end of the world. - They're frozen pizzas.
They're not fr--
At least there's Domino's Romania. I heat them up with the fire. Heat them up with the fire. There's a Domino's logo on it. Romania doesn't have Domino's.
Fuck off.
If you...
You know what?
If you admit that I made this myself, you can have some.
No, what not? You made it yourself. So what's it made out? What ingredients? Cans from the rations. There you go. Luke, would you like some?
Would you like some? Alright, it's made out of cans of rations. It's made out of cans of rations. Help yourself.
You're welcome.
Prepare for the end of the world, you piece of shit.
*phone rings*
Turn your fucking camera off.
T, the lights are still on. The end of the world. Turn off the fucking phone.
The lights are on.
I can charge it.
A few moments later.
So the power is actually going up.
The power has actually gone up.
Which means one thing, doesn't it? - So T's predicted the future again. - Means one thing, doesn't it?
You don't know shit! You don't know anything!
Thank you.
Right.
But you don't.
What? I don't believe this. No, the power's gone out. I don't believe the power's gone out. Well, it has.
The power's actually gone out? Yes.
So your fire bullshit became true?
Oh, bullshit, yeah? Yes. So I called the cans, I called the power,
And suddenly... You also called Domino's. No, I did not call Domino's. Paracorn.
So the power's gone out. - You know, anyone watching this at home, let me tell you motherfucker something.
You think this is fake? You think we switched it off at our house? I'm telling you the power has legitimately gone out. It's the end of the fucking world. I'm ready and I've got my baby hands cousin who can't hold a camera and it's all shaky.
And my brother, who's unprepared for the end of the universe,
And I stand vindicated with all my cans, my fire, my post-apocalyptic hoes, if you clopped them,
Just as I said! You did bring post-apocalyptic others. Uh-huh.
He did. And he got the post-local booze. What are you going to eat?
Got the wine, got the hose.
Shit!
Look, it's only a matter of time. They start as temporary power cuts.
It's only a matter of fucking time.
You're on thin fucking ice, you two. You're lucky this round.
Post -apocalyptic
Post-apocalyptic hoes.
I've got wine. Get all the homes after the apocalypse, bro.
Emergency bills. Apocalypse homes are real. There's homes everywhere. How can I repopulate the human species?
So why is the neighbor asking Tristan for his powerful flashlight? And how does he know that we have a powerful flashlight?
Somehow everyone knows Tristan has the world's most powerful flashlights and how people want them.
And Tristan feels super happy and excited and powerful and like, "Wow!" Like he thinks he's important.
He's not important.
You bought an overpriced flashlight or $1,000.
He is about to bring him his flashlight.
So the neighbor wants to borrow my flashlight. He obviously watches the YouTube.
- Oh!
You can watch it on my YouTube channel bro!
No.
- Police!
Somebody stole the wire. Yeah.
That's super Romanian.
He said the police are over there.
Some gypsies.
are stealing electricity wires, apparently.
It's the end of the world, bro. It's Mad Max. I haven't seen this shit ever.
People in London are looting.
here
They're stealing electricity wires.
It's the end of the universe, and I am prepared, unlike you and you. And as we sit around my fire,
My fire of vindication.
YouTube.
I have a flashlight too. Let me tell you something. I bought this flashlight. It's perfectly usable. It's just not ridiculously big. It's in my pocket and it's fine. It's real cute. It's not the size that matters. I'll tell you girlfriends.
*sniffing*
*BANG*
Tristan! What? I've finally lost my fucking mind.
What are you talking about? I've lost my mind.
What the fuck are you doing? Rory. I don't know, I was upstairs. What the fuck? I lost it and I thought fuck it. What the fuck are you doing? Rory.
What are you doing? You look like a fucking idiot. Having a haircut?
- What'd you, that's not a haircut. - What is it then?
What the fuck have you done? You look retarded. You look like a special needs kid.
Well... Give me the fucking... give me the fucking razor. What do I do now? I...
I'm going to bed. I'm going to bed. You can't go to- it's 2 o'clock in the afternoon. You can't go to bed. What else does a man do when he's lost his mind, Tristan? There's no alcohol. I'm in isolation.
I wish I was... I knew the quarantine was coming, but I didn't predict this fucking cunt being here, and this... They're losing their minds, bro.
They're losing their minds. Only I am prepared for the quarantine. Mentally, he can't take it. I don't know how to handle this. What's wrong with you? Fucked it. I don't know. You look like a dick. I can't- So it doesn't look good.
It doesn't look good. Bro, I think it looks good. Thanks, bro.
The fuck is your problem? You as well? No one talked to me for the rest of the week. I'm not talking to any of you. I'm leaving the country, actually. I've decided to leave the country.
Fuck you, boss. You can't leave. I'm leaving. I'm gonna find somewhere to go and I'm fucking leaving. Tate, we're leaving.
There's two countries open. I've confirmed clubs and bars are open in two places in Europe.
Minsk, Belarus, Stockholm, Sweden.
I say to go to Belarus. The only problem with Belarus is, there's a 14 day self quarantine. So we'll just go in,
Pretend we're going to self-quarantine.
Get booze, start drinking, go straight to the club, same day.
Uh-huh.
If I got sent,
to jail
in Sweden for violating some sort of curfew,
That's fine.
You, you, especially you,
Even me.
None of us want to go to a Belarusian jail. And Belarus hate foreigners. They say, "Hey, let me see your passport." They will, they're itching to find some foreign media out
With their fucking quarantine paper phone number. I bet it is. They're itching for it.
And don't even pretend that you're done. Okay. Well, that leaves us one option, which is stock on the week.