Transcript
Good shot there from Tate!
you
I'm not sure, I call you. Yeah, no problem. No, I'll call the call.
This is nice.
- Yeah, nice. You know, I tried.
to Uber the world's worst phantom in Romania and they told me no.
This is the quality of Ubers you get outside of Romania.
and they wouldn't let me Uber... - Hotel? Dolder Hotel? - Yes, that's correct.
Thank you.
And they wouldn't let me...
Over the world's voice, Luke.
Scooby. Yeah.
and trying to keep remaining Ubers whacked.
Where's this car?
He's wonderful. This is him.
Wonderful.
Thank you.
*Tonk*
So this is a castle. Yeah, it is. It looks like one. This is a castle.
Oh, it's gonna rock on.
Thank you.
Woo! Woo!
This is Supernatural.
Thank you.
Very nice. Nice.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Okay.
Wonderful. And there's a balcony here, isn't there?
I was told. Yeah, on his side.
Okay.
I think it's the most rare, that's fast.
There's a balcony here. I can smoke a cigarette on the balcony. Yes? Just now we can clean it. It's no problem. Oh, there's an ice cream here already. Perfect.
Thank you.
Very nice. Yeah, okay.
I'm extremely happy. Perfect.
Ah, wonderful. Booze. Nice booze. Good. Thank you very much. Phone here, you can call housekeeping room service. That's for you.
oh wow thank you so much thank you very much and uh yeah if i need anything i'll give you guys a call yes sure thank you so much thank you bye have a good one
Now this
It's a nice hotel.
It's literally like a castle. It is. We are in a castle. Yeah, we are in a castle. T, they play the piano downstairs. Yeah, they play the piano. Yeah.
This is Piano Lady. Wanna go to the spa? Yes. Do some spa Aikido? Spa Aikido. Let's fucking go. One sec.
Hello, how are you?
Everything is here. Yeah, yeah. Both packs. Both packs. Thank you.
Nice.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you, sir. Have a good day. Ciao. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.
*thud*
- Spa, let's go. - Is that how you pronounce it? - Yeah. - A pianist.
There is.
We have nice robes. Yeah?
I believe I'm stealing this road. Yeah. A thousand dollars a night.
I don't think they'd really miss him.
They are nice robes though. I will admit these are very nice robes.
So here to the left.
- Yeah. - They have a golf wing.
Oh.
Yeah, on the right.
Alright record, someone might have got fucked up.
Why is this so close with me?
I did.
From what I've seen from Switzerland so far, it's the fanciest country I've ever been in.
It's fancier than Dubai.
It's the fanciest, cleanest country.
with green trees everywhere. They didn't fuck up their environment.
Yeah, four months.
I'm sure it is. I'm sure it's super boring.
Yeah, there can't be chaos.
Chaos is fun.
This is where billionaires go to sit in their castles. Yeah, basically.
while the peasants do chaotic things and degeneracy.
Exactly.
I'm not building that.
It's true.
*sad music*
Not yet. Wait for those take confidential shit. Oh, when I'm going billionaire. Yeah.
Tates became a billionaire. How are you a billionaire? Give me two more years when I'm worth a hundred million.
- Yeah. - That is gonna be crazy.
Right now I'm poor compared to my future self.
Shit, we got a decade left. Yeah, I know. My future self is looking through a time machine at me, laughing at me. Yeah.
because the rope boys
As if this is what broke boys do. Exactly.
*music*
I'm scared to go into snow. Fuck the ice room. We're staying in a spa where they have a room that has real snow. It's minus 15. It actually snows.
It's minus 15, T.
There's real snow. I'm already cold.
Imagine your feet, bro.
Alright, T goes in the ice room. How's the ice room T?
How do you like it? Alright, alright, fuck it. Alright. Close the door. Close the door behind you. Ah!
Ah!
All right, the feet is the worst part.
We're staying in a hotel where they have real snow in a snow room. If I got stuck in here I'd die. So we made it too warm so they decided to cool it down. This is vulnerable.
Luke, why did we pay $1,000 a night?
He's standing here.
Alright, I'm out.
I'm gone. I'm following you. Fuck this. Fuck the ice rube.
The ass room's whack.
Thank you.
All right.
He got me. I will admit he got me. So he threw a snowball at me. Straight to your face. He didn't throw a snowball at me.
I got hit. I did get hit. He got hit. But my phone blocked most of it.
Bye.
- Okay.
This food is amazing.
Let me on out.
This is the best food.
Bye.
maybe maybe in the world it's one of the best restaurants in switzerland best food in the world luke it might be no best food i've tried yeah but you used to eat rice and beans out of a thermos until a year ago yeah but this is the best food i've ever tried guys this is the best food in the world this is not the best food in the world it is it's very good food and luke just hasn't been to enough five-star restaurants the carrots taste like candy but luckily his cousin is a very nice guy
and takes them to very nice places.
We should have filmed more, but... It's just food. We don't film food. No, it was super good. We do. We don't. We do. Guys, this food was the best food.
I wish you could try it, but you can't because I ate it all.
And you're not here in Switzerland, are you?
Turn the camera off.
So...
What are these? The nicest hotel in the world.
This hotel cost me over $2,000 to stay in tonight.
There are
homeless people signs
traveling broke and hungry anything helps from from various places in the world this is flexing on the broke boards
Yeah.
Is this supposed to make me feel bad for spending $2,000 for a place to sleep? I think it is.
Well guess what?
I fucking don't. I don't. I've been broke. I've been homeless. Who helped me? Nobody.
Nobody. I helped me.
God.
I'll hook the switch off until I'm on my way.
to Stuttgart on the train. Right now I'm at the bank so I'm signing for that.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Ah.
Thank you.
This is a very nice bag. Of course it is. You know, I've opened this bag to get half a million dollars. Yeah.
I like Switzerland.
Yeah, the backs are certainly nice.
I will never be allowed to have a Swiss bank account. They basically said, oh, that's very interesting. Oh, you have lots of money? No. Gambling, high-risk industry. Pornography, high-risk industry. Webcam girls, strip clubs, all the things that I do. High-risk industries. Plus, I have an American passport. They just told me, I highly doubt, even if you gave away your American passport and cleaned up your business affairs,
will entertain giving you an account. I give up. Switzerland doesn't like money. Yeah. Well, they do. But not your money. Not my money. I have dirty money. Shit. It's not even dirty. I know. It's tax payable. They just don't like it. They just don't like it. They don't want my money. They don't want it. So. I'm depressed now. It was a nice hotel. It was a nice hotel. And it was a nice meeting with the bank. I felt important for the first five minutes I went in. It's true. Until they started asking me where my money comes from.
Yeah And I just saw their faces drop Like why is this Millionaire pornographer Sitting in our offices They deal with like Billionaire bank managers Yeah Look I sell titties on the internet I'm sorry
Sorry. Sorry. How else am I supposed to do it? I'll use another bag.
I have a theory.
about why they won't allow me to have a bank account.
So I told them that I run webcam models and that's how I made my millions of dollars.
So...
The guy across the table looked at me frowningly and said, "Oh, that's a risky industry."
You're not allowed to have a bag with us.
So he was angry at me because I run web cameras.
And I make porn. And that's why I'm not allowed to bank. But thinking about it now, that guy looked very familiar. And I think he may be one of my webcam customers who calls my girls and jacks off. He's rich. He's from Switzerland. He's an old dude. Typical demographic. He looked at me suspiciously from the moment I said what job I did.
You also, T, do look like a bank robber.
If you look at him, imagine this man coming in to your bank. Why do you have a bag? Why does he have a bag? Okay, and I do look like a bank robber. You do.
He does look like a bank robber. I'm a bank robber who makes porn. And then there's me, also with a bag, dressed all black. Yeah.
We're bank robbers, Luke. We could be bank robbers. Yeah, the guy at the bank is a customer, and he's hating on me. He's player hating. He is player hating.
He's trying to get you.
Bitcoin. Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em. I'm coming back. It is nice though, T. Maybe we should come back. Maybe we should live here. We could live in that hotel forever. Why don't you move here yourself? Because I'm broke. I can't do that. I can't do that, T. That doesn't work.
13.
- I think 37 is the next one.
connection you have to change trains at singing
and he reached the other quarter
- Five?
or you wait for another hour,
and direct train no changes and divided by food
I'm not going to lie.
If we leave now
1643
I'll take the dollar train.
At 14,000? Yeah, that's correct.
first plan.
Amen.
Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. So, Andrew and them are driving. No, no, no. Let's make it over here. It's just me. It's okay. So, Andrew and Rory are driving.
Now, they're driving. We're eating beef macaroni and cheese. We're in Germany already. We're not. We're not, but we are.
Switzerland is a bit like Germany. This is Germany. It's a bit German. I think this is Germany too. I think you've lied to me. They accept Swiss francs for some reason. But Germany is just weird. They're weird like that. It's Switzerland.
So here we are.
This looks like first class to me. It has to be first class.
*sad music*
Thank you.
So this is it.
Show these tickets to you.
Yeah.
Oh,
Thank you.
Thank you.
It wasn't cold, so he bought us an icebox and put it on ice.
So, that's customer service. In Romania, they bring a plastic shopping basket filled with warm beer and chips up and down the aisle.
So the Swiss beat the Romanians yet again. I will have to give this one to the Swiss.
So, Andrew and Rory don't have champagne now do they? They're probably stuck on the motorway I'd imagine on the way to Germany. Yeah, and we're going to the same place and I think we'll get there before them. And me and you have champagne. We've been to Paris. Cheers.
I think we're winning this.
i think we are winning we made it before them now didn't we yeah we did we definitely did we won the race we won and had more fun we won the race while having more fun that's true it's like being what the hair who took a nap and won yeah yeah we took a nap and beat them so this is germany
Shit.
He's not wonderful. Yeah, Germany.
.
Yeah, the tournament. What are your favorite, Jinkum?
- I'm sorry. - How was your trip? - How you been? - Bonjour, man. - Bonjour. - Big man handsome. Who do you think had more fun on their journey? - You. - We had more fun. - You.
There's not even a competition. Paris is shit. We sat in a rainy motorway in the snow. To be fair, Paris is good.
Paris is good. Yeah, when you're asleep. No, no, it's actually good. I'm not joking. It's shit. It was so shit. So...
Why? Shit, why? What'd you do? Bro, if you have any fucking oranges in this room. Paris is good. What's good about Paris? Did you two get a photo in front of the Eiffel Tower? No. Why? So you went to Paris and you didn't get a photo in front of the Eiffel Tower?
Well, no, I was behind it.
Why the fuck? They think Paris was shit because they went to Paris and didn't get a photo in front of the Eiffel fucking tower!
No way! Paris blows.
Paris blows. One sec. Paris doesn't blow.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - Ah, it's true. Shit.
He's recording, T. This kid's fancy. There's nothing on me, bro. Recording what? There's an orange. There's an orange. Anyway, so you went to Paris, and you didn't get a photo in front of the Eiffel Tower. No. What's the point of this conversation? We had more fun in Zurich than you did in Paris. Yeah. That's 100% fact. That's a fact. Zurich was fun. I agree. Show him the picture of what we did.
Let's go, let's go! Ah, do you show him?
Do we show them?
Show us!
They can get shown. You went to Paris and didn't take a picture of the Eiffel Tower.
No, we didn't. You guys did Paris all wrong. You did Paris all wrong and you think that we didn't have fun in Zurich.
No, no, why are you trying to make an argument that doesn't exist? Sorry, did you get in front of the Eiffel Tower? I have a feeling they've been in front of the Eiffel Tower. Yes, I am. They've been in front of the Eiffel Tower, yeah. So we got you.
So we had fought in Paris. You went to Paris, and I know for a fact Paris is shit. No, we had fought in Paris. We had a wonderful time. We smoked cigarettes in front of the Eiffel Tower in the same cafe that Ernest Hemingway used to get drunk in.
Yeah, but we won.
So we got you. You think Paris was shit because you didn't go to Darryl Tower. No, we drove right past that. No, but you didn't get out and take a picture. Of course not, because I've been before and it's shit. Except no, because we went and we went. I seen you. That's why I didn't get out. So we got you. Can you admit that we got you at least? They did kind of get you. No, no, I'm sorry. Did we get you? They did get you. I admit you absolutely had more fun than me.
But, so, but, but they would get you by going to Paris. I'm missing your saying.
Alright, he's on. You got us. He's upset. We got you. At least you admit it. We got you.
How happy are you? I'm happy. Yeah, it looks good, man. I think it looks really good. I want to drive it. Shit. I just spent 30 grand on it. Extra.
Black number plates look good.
Yep. What's that?
- For Shakira.
porsche aikido is that thing where's the paper
Thank you.