Transcript
Good shot there from Tate!
you
Rory! Where's Tristan? Where's Tristan? Tristan, where is he? Where? I've been looking everywhere. We're looking for him. Where is he?
Oh
I'm not going to die.
I'm out.
I'm getting Tristan Andre. What are you doing? I'm doing this.
*laughs*
That will super get him.
If I order Domino's to the house and I'm not there, how can he get angry at me? It's true. You just gave your friends a pizza. Yeah, and I know he won't want it. And I'm going to order so many cookies. He's going to be swimming in cookies. I think that's the best way to get Tristan today. Might be. He's not here, is he?
No, he's not. He kinda deserves it. Yeah, I think he does. So, uh, yeah, that's the plan. I'm gonna get him. He is depressed. This would help him. This will cheer him up. I think, what do you reckon, a large pizza and 40 cookies? 40? He doesn't eat 40 cookies. 40 cookies. I'm telling you, he's gonna be swimming in fucking cookies.
He is unhappy. He needs happiness. There's happiness in Domino's cookies.
Therefore, he needs to be swimming in cookies.
Agreed. Let's do it. Let's do it. All right. I'm convinced. So if you're a long time viewer, you've been watching Take Confidential for a long time, you'll remember Mike. Remember Mike? Well, Mike just got out of jail. So that's what happened to Mike. Mike went to prison. So tell everyone what happened, why you went to jail, and now you're free. Tell everyone what you did.
Well, so I got to jail and
How did you go to jail? What did you do?
I'm trying to do something. So basically the police stopped Mike. The police stopped Mike.
This is the true story. Please stop Mike when he was driving.
He got into an argument with them, ended up pushing one of the officers, got in a fight with the officers, and they threw him in jail forever.
Why didn't you just give me a license, bro? What's wrong with you? I don't have a license. So Mike was fighting the police. Mike was fighting the police and now he's free again. So I don't know if Mike's going to rejoin us on our adventures or not. I want to see. Now he's a convicted criminal. I don't know if we should hang around with him.
It's true. He is a criminal.
people like me and Luke we're not criminals we're nice guys we are we respect the law exactly we never get pulled over ever what's that ever happened yeah Mike you're probably speeding too yeah boy what's your seat going on yeah
I'm going to tell you the most important things in life.
First thing is health.
You don't have shit if you're dead.
Doesn't matter how rich you are, doesn't matter how much you love your friends, doesn't matter how nice your girlfriend is, if you're about to die.
or you're sitting in bed and you're fat and you're diabetic. Health is the most important thing. Second thing is the health
and respect of people you love, friends and family.
But most people actually have these. Maybe not health because they don't look after themselves. But most people, if you're watching this, are probably relatively healthy.
You probably have friends and family around you. The third most important thing is money.
And it's money because money can buy you everything except for the top two things. What can money not buy you besides prolong your life forever? Even though it can help with health, it can't keep your life forever. And genuine respect from friends or someone you love. Money is everything else. That's everything else is money. If you're not obsessed with money, then you're not obsessed with freedom. That's what money is. Money buys you freedom. Where am I? You don't need to know. Fact is, I go wherever the fuck I want. All the time I wake up, I want to go here. Bang, I'm going to go. It's not, oh, I can't go because I just go. I do what I like because I'm fucking rich. If you are rich, you are free.
to eat what you want.
sleep where you want, drive the car you want, fuck the women you want, go to the places you wanna go,
It is freedom. If you are not rich, you are a slave. If you're watching this and saying, oh, I disagree, you're a slave. You may not feel like a slave, but you are a slave. You go and you do something you don't want to do in return for some money, and it's barely enough for you to have a house and eat.
And that's all the slaves got.
So I'm going to sleep and something to eat.
You are a slave.
When I want to learn to kickbox,
I went and found the best kickboxer I could. And I said, teach me everything you know.
If you wanna learn how to get rich,
Find the richest person you can think of.
and ask them how to get rich. Now, a lot of rich people aren't going to tell you.
I might be the richest person you know who's prepared to tell you how to get rich. If that's the case, then you can DM me now at any time, and I'm going to tell you exactly how to do it.
If you know someone richer than me who's prepared to sit you down and explain everything there is to know about getting rich, then go talk to them.
But you're not going to get rich on accident.
Just like going to the gym, you never wake up and accidentally you're oops, oops.
Never. You never get rich on accident. You get rich on purpose. You get rich on purpose with very specific habits, rituals, certain things you must do.
Things that rich people know and you do not know.
It's time to learn.
Andrew.
Does that even do anything? I'm killing myself. It would take you a long time of doing this to die. Find out, mate.
So we've lost our minds. Tristan, where are you? Rory's left. Look at the fireworks I made. You didn't make those fireworks. I did that. That wasn't you.
Alright. I will admit that he started doing that and then the fireworks started going off. I will admit this. Rory left. Rory did leave.
Could that be? It is the Talis.
Is it the Talis? The Talis arrives. Rory failed. And the Talis arrives.
arrived
So we have reinforcements.
We're going to conquer the city alone, but now we have more reinforcements.
Rory abandoned us, thought it was impossible. Reverse, go straight. Reverse, don't turn right. Reverse.
So you came, you didn't come to part one.
Thank you.
Rory ran away to me. Rory decided I'm going to go off the left.
Now you're here. I think it's very important I let you know.
once and for all.
Well, Andrew and Luke, I have to tell you something important. I had busy business to do in Bucharest.
I actually drove all the way down here just to let you both know
that you're a payer of dickheads.
That's why I came.
So we're all dickheads? Shit. Well I know.
You are.
Okay.
I came all the way here to let you guys know. Listen, two against one says you're a dickhead. Two against one says I'm a dickhead. Two against one says I'm a dickhead. So we must all...
- Shit. - Suicide? - I'm getting out of vote with you.
We could commit suicide. Just jump off.
We could. It's very, very close.
But Tristan, I remember you saying you'll never be MMI ever.
You didn't say that. I do remember this. How do you say that? That's why you're lying.
So we may be dickheads, but you're a dickhead liar. Yeah, you're a lying dickhead. No, but you said you're a lying dickhead. And if you're a lying dickhead and you call us dickheads,
Then he's lying. About us being dickheads. Then he doesn't have a vote.
So we're free. Woo! We're free.
There's one dick out here, mate, and it's you.
You said you'd never come to my mind. Yeah, yeah. You did.
Why do you insist on playing music?
So what's happened?
My life is just a series of unfortunate events.
Lambo's got a flat tire.
Went down there, there's some guidance that said, "Oh, did you hit the wheel off? Go fix it, zipper, and back."
The locking wheel not that locks the wheel on.
I was missing.
Don't worry that is.
So now we have to pump up the tire and try and drive it.
somewhere where they think they have a lot of will now.
without the tire deflating too much.
*sniff*
My life is just a series of unfortunate events. - This is an unfortunate event. - My life is just, my life is shit. Everyone's all wow, life's great.
It's just one unfortunate event after another.
*sniff*
They're gonna have some spare cars.
Yeah, spare supercars. Spare supercars. You need spare supercars because you can't just have one. Yeah. They'll play you. Where's your car? It's true. Mine's gone. I don't have a spare. I forgot one.
- It's called House Fairs.
We're trying to explain about now.
See what happens.
What's the tag? I see it's yellow. Yellow means you're fucked. Shit. And we have to refill the washer fluid. Yeah, we have no washer fluid. Just to add insult to injury, we cannot clean our wings right now. But I think that's got a leak because every time I refill my washer fluid, it says I need more like two days later. And I really don't use that much washer fluid. I think that's got a leak. My tire's screwed. I'm living inside a velotron weight. All at the same time.
but we put some air in. So we monitor it in real time.
All right, we're here for the cruise. Wait for the cruise. Okay. So we've got air for now, but it's leaking. It's a race against time. Mission Impossible.
Basically, I'm Tom Cruise.
Tom Cruise, but taller. Taller, not a dork. But then, you know, you know, he's a Scientologist. Why not be? You're A-list famous. You may as well be weird about something. Let's want to be normal. Yeah.
I'd be a Scientologist if I was fucking... I'd be loads of weird shit. I do weird shit now. I ain't rich though.
This is the Lambo garage
Let's go with good music.