Transcript
Good shot there from Tate!
you
This is the Lambo garage
I just want good music.
Alright, Andrew, can you explain what has happened?
Pass me the Doritos.
There's a cut in the tire or something, and it's... You can't repair it. I'm trying to find a Lambo tire out here. It's not going to be fun with me. Nice.
Your life might be a series of unfortunate events. It is. That's my life.
Might be Just might be but unfortunately I also don't have Doritos to make the matters worse
our fun
- Yes.
So we're back in the game. Boom.
Fixed.
I think it's from Saman.
I don't know, how do they do it? That'd be ass.
tomorrow.
Yeah.
Thank you.
What's happening the tire that we had repaired on the Lambo we're trying to go home
It's about to get stuck on a side of the motorway just is driving the Lambo
It's leaking again
I gotta think of some highly advanced Double Dragon, Triple Shinobi maneuvers. I can't think of it. Right now we're trying to get to the next gas station, 24 kilometers. This is Race Against Time. It's Race Against Time, yeah.
It's Race Against Time. A time cop. Why is it the same reels leaking again? They just fixed it. Yeah. Fucking ass.
- Put some random tire, Saints size tire, put it on. - I'm Time Cop, for now my name's Time Cop. - Time Cop, Time Cop is on the case. - Time Cop, correct.
- Time to wake up and face the music. So we've given up. The biggest Red Bulls money can buy. Everything bad for you, ice cream, cigarettes, you name it. - Let's do it. - About the time you woke up and face the music. Luke's living in elephant world.
I am.
I am actually an elephant. Now you gotta eat elephant's food. This is elephant food. Guys, we got Oreos. Good.
All the time.
It's true.
He keeps saying it's my favorite song, but it literally hurts my brain.
And it gets stuck in your mind. It does.
Bang, bong, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.
-
Bye.
All the times I was broken before, I was just rich. All the things I do.
I just sit in this room drinking badly made gin and tonics. This is in the Corp and Guccia.
I'm rich. I don't have to do this.
It's true.
Thank you.
Tristan, let's allocate half a million dollars to putting together the most crazy, take confidential episodes
ever.
Fucking nuts. Let's try and buy tickets to the moon. Let's fucking wreck private planes, a boat. Let's go completely insane to take confidentiality.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Bing bang biding bing bing
Bing bing, bada blada bap bap.
Bye.
Bye.
Nothing makes sense anymore.
Thank you.
Bing bang bang.
So I'm trying to get in here. Yeah, I'm not. I'm just re-telling it.
*gunshot*
Thank you.
Thank you.
Would be.
I want to fuck some bitches. Find some bitches we can fuck.
Yes.
No. Me and you. Yeah, me and you.
Need to fuck some bitches.
- No. - Now, if you can find issues now, or in general.
You just start thinking some bitches, they have to be pretty, pretty bitches and they have to come here and fuck them. You understand?
Alright, good. You have until, what day is it today? Monday? On Friday, we're gonna fuck some bitches. So start talking to some bitches and say, "Me and my man are gonna fuck you."
Okay.
*clap*
Thank you.
Good to see you.
Thank you.
*BOOM*
The things I do are too good. The red pill monster. They don't believe the level that you can operate at when you're actually a G.
They don't. They don't get it. They're like, oh, well, if you hold free... What?
What? What? What you need to do is you need to...
Stop being ugly.
*singing*
*music*
It's an emergency, Luke. So I came into your room, woke you up. Yes. Told you about the emergency. I quickly got dressed. I had no time to brief you on the situation. So we're just going to have to go and deal with it. If you're combat ready, that's all I need. Combat readiness. That's what's important.
But it is an emergency situation. An unprecedented emergency. Like we have never seen before.
Is this like an emergency meeting? No. No, no, no. We didn't have time for a meeting. This is an emergency maneuver. Emergency action. Straight to action stations. So now we're doing emergency maneuvers. No meetings, exactly. Because there were no meetings. We had no time for meetings.
I'm feeling this is just like an emergency meeting. What do you mean? But in the car. What do you mean? What's an emergency mean? A meeting we hold in cases of emergencies. Yeah. No, no.
They're never dire. They are. They never have been. Every single time they are. They never have been. They always have been. Nope. Well, this is a real emergency. Stephen Molyneux Twitter. Yeah. It's such an emergency on the speed. They got his YouTube. Now this week got his Twitter. Yeah. Damn. I saw it this morning. Damn. Now he's not a person. Boom. Wait, whoa. I thought this was an emergency. It is an emergency. What do you mean?
face masks. They'll tell you to wear a fucking mask. Fucking mask. Right. So it's emergency McDonald's. Wait, what? Emergency McDonald's. Emergency McDonald's. Yeah, look. It's 8am. If eating food isn't the most important thing in your life.
then you've got your pearls wrong. You'll die, B.O.E.A. Yeah, you'll die. What's not an emergency about this? Emergency McDonald's. Every day from now on. Emergency McDonald's. Yeah, every time. Let's wake up earlier and earlier. Emergency McDonald's. Yeah, really get our day started right. The breakfast starts at 4.30 a.m. so we can get it. Are we taking this at home or are we eating it all in the car? We're eating it in the car like a bunch of losers. Alright, good.
Are we going turbo? Obviously. No, no, no.
Turbo. Yeah. Three of everything. Three of everything. Pancakes. Yeah.
Luke, I'm a stone-cold loser.
So this was the emergency? Yep, emergency. Okay, that's for my imaginary coffees. Hold this. Yeah, where's the coffee? You won't be!
F***ing c***. This still doesn't feel like an emergency. Luke, it's the biggest emergency we've had.
I've never had. Ah, she knew. Coffee. Okay.
What? If there's no coffee, there's no coffee. I don't care. No, beef them. She probably didn't hear, no, I didn't, because she probably didn't hear me, because I realized when I said coffee at the fucking teleprompter, she asked me what sauce I wanted. So you fucked up. So you fucked up. So you fucked up the emergency? Can we trust she in emergencies? No. Now we know in emergencies, it's just it can't be trusted. What are you talking about? You didn't order coffee. What do you mean?
Fuck you guys, I don't need to buy you coffee. I don't need to eat shit. It's an emergency. Yeah, exactly. The more coffee you eat, the less McDonald's you'll be able to consume. So you faggots are actually trying to pick up. It's McDonald's coffee. I think we have to go in order. One of these each. Okay, alright. Let's work together. Let's work together as a team. One of these each. Alright. Let's start with this. Start with this. A few moments later.
I now understand that McDonald's is not good. It's not good at all, is it? It's not an emergency.
McDonald's isn't an emergency. What's happened? Andrew, what do you... Has he lost his mind?
McDonald's may have immediately made Andrew lose his mind. Corona. No. What do you mean? McDonald's gave him Corona. So he's trying to protect us, Luke. You're not scared of Corona? It's a new emergency. Emergency of the morning, number two. What do you mean? No, I'm not scared of Corona. It's the second emergency of the day.
Emergency. That's true. Today's emergency day. Alright.
Today can't be emergency day. Anytime anyone says emergency and wants to do something, everyone has to say yes. Agreed. It's emergency day. Today can't be emergency day. It is. That's not real. Emergency. We're watching Steven Seagal movies.
Isn't it real? What do you know? It's not real.
Our emergencies aren't real emergency day can't be a thing. Super real.
Right. This may be the last time we all see each other alive. I'll have a Cohiba Talisman and 8 Gin and Tonics please.
Eight.
Ginette Tommy? Yes, please.
I'm not.
-
Tristan, why do we need eight?
*laughs*
War bar, same for you, one for me.
Thank you.